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My 11 year old daughter does not want to visit her father anymore, what should i do?

Sophia - posted on 07/06/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My 11 year old daughter has not had much of a relationship with her father. She just turned 11 and tells me she dosnt wanna go to his house for his parenting time anymore. I want badly to support her and her decision. There has been some instances of emotional mistreatment but never any physical abuse. She says she doesnt feel right, like she dosnt belong there. His new wife and step daughter have been telling her she isnt even his real daughter and that she makes them all unhappy when she comes there. That was the last straw for me. And i havnt made her go since. There is no age law in our state they base it on the maturity of the child and i believe she is mature enough to make this decision for herself. Im sure i will hear from the court soon for contempt charges but what is more important my daughters emotional well being or some stupid court order. she dosnt want to go i feel she shouldnt have to. HELP!!

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3 Comments

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MJbruer - posted on 08/11/2012

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I'd make sure of what that law is about. Most of those "age" laws are related to CUSTODY not visitation. Most of the visitation is very protected. Even though they are old enough to decide where they live, they may not have the freedom to decide not to go visit. If the dad is not insisting then I'd do the same thing you're doing. But if the dad wants the kid to be there you better make sure she is there if visitation has been written up that way. I wish I could help mine but they're stuck. : (

Shanti - posted on 08/09/2012

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I completely agree with you all on this. My 10 year old refuses to have any contact with her father. This is mostly because he is absent in her life and likes to make time when he wants to. So now she refuses to see or talk to him. She made this decision on her own and had no help from me.
I encourage independent thinking. In addition, I feel as though if your child's father wants her in his life, he will make all the necessary changes that he needs to make so that she feel comfortable with being around him and his new family. Please don't force your daughter to go over there any more, this will cause more emotional damage then it will good. And if her father wants to be a part of his daughter's life he will make his new wife and step daughter understand that she is his child and she is NOT to be disrespected.

Good Luck

Miriam - posted on 07/09/2012

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I'm with you on not forcing her to go. Talk to him about whats going on and have him talk to his wife and step daughter, they have no right to say any of that to her and they have to respect her.. Remind him, it's his daughter and that those two are disrespecting her then their disrespecting him. If he takes you to court then go and have your daughter give her side of the story to the judge if she has to. Goodluck =)

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