My 11 year olds girl 's social life

Cayla - posted on 05/13/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My 11 year old daughter is great. She athletic & a strait A student but I fear she has no social life. She never wants me to throw partys and has no play dates. She never talks about her friends. Is this a bad thing? If so what can I do?

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Louise - posted on 05/14/2012

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you could encourage her to join an after school club in what ever she is interested in. My sons did a variety of clubs from RAF cadets to Sea scouts. The Sea Scouts was by far the best with both boys and girls of 11 and up in. They had lots of fun messing about on the water and doing night hikes and camping. It also expanded my sons social network outside of school friends. My son is now 18 and left about 4 years ago but he still keeps in contact with his mates, boys and girls from the club. It just gave him something else to look forward to rather than rely on school functions. He also chose to go on the outings so he was away at the weekends doing fun stuff and living life to the full.

Ask your daughter if she would like to join something like this. It is a bit scary at first but once you have been going for a while you are accepted into any group. In England we have lots of groups like, St Johns Ambulance Brigade, Girl Guides, Adventure Scouts, Animal Welfare Voulunteers, and the usual ones like Karate, Ballet and Dance, Choir, and Drama class. Theres lots out there just encourage her to take the first step and go. This will create a whole new social life for her.

Teresa - posted on 05/14/2012

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Hi Cayla, your daughter seems to be more intraverted than extraverted, and there is nothing wrong with this we all have ways of making friends or not depending on what we need. Your daughter seems to be doing what makes her happy and that is her sports and keeping up with her studies. Of course as she becomes a young adult this may change and teenagers will look for a specific type of group of friends usually ones who are interested in the same things, such as sport,music, games ect; I would not worry as this stage, and as she gets older she will meet some people who have friends of their own and this will encourage her to mix more at her own pace and when she is ready.
I am sure she will let you know if she feels left out or is in need of support, just keep watching and listening for some clue's, such as party invitations and what is going on at school.

If she seems to be happy I would not push it to much incase she is not quite ready yet, and if there was a major problem, I have no doubt her teacher would be aware of it and contact you.

However give her time and space to make her own choices about friends and who she eventually chooses to be with, as she sounds to be ok with her own company ,it does not mean she is lonely or depressed, just happy with you and her family life. Hope this helps.

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