My 11 yr old daughter is asking for a facebook account, what is the normal age to allow them to join

Holly - posted on 02/24/2010

I just gave my 11 year old daughter an account. We have an agreement that I check it every morning to ensure there isn't anything too inappropriate on it, I review her friends list and make sure I know everyone on it. We edited the account settings and have her privacy locked up. I can admitt I was really worried about letting her do this but once we got her going I'm glad I did. One thing is I get a new perspective on my daughter as I see how she communicates with her friends and I know better how her friends treat her.

Martha - posted on 02/24/2010

I have allowed my son Facebook acct. but he is only allowed to play Farmville and Fishville which will test him out. I monitor him at all times.

Tracey - posted on 02/24/2010

on facebook you have to be 13 to have an account with them

Katherine - posted on 02/23/2010

No you're not tripping. Bad things can happen to kids on the internet and FB is not desgined for kids. My 11 year old wants one too and I have forbidden it. Occassionally she gets to "farm" for me on Farmville or play in my Cafe, but I am always in the room with her and the time is very limited. She also has to have me log-in for her so I know she can't get on without me there.
Aside from the predators out there, it can often be a place for taunting, teasing and inappropriate commentary from classmates and teammates that can be difficult to regulate or track. I don't think my daughter needs to be put in a position where she has to worry about that kind of stuff right now. Right now she needs to focus on being 11 years old, playing with her Webkinz, learning to make Mac N Cheese and playing softball. She doesn't need to worry about FB, online chatting or what some pervert or snot-nosed tween has to say to make him/herself feel better.

Evette - posted on 02/23/2010

I let my 11 year old daughter have one as part of her Christmas gift. The agreement is I get her password and I approve her friends, she also has all the privacy settings set to private, also she is not to sit there on the computer for hours and obsess, and if she doesn't keep up on her chores or homework she gets grounded from it, I change her password so that there is no sneaking on it, and when I feel she is caught up on chores and homework I change her password back. I make sure she knows it's a privilege that I let her have one and not something I'm required to give to her just because most of her friends have one and to not forget that because it can easily be deleted. :) Also, ALL her emails get sent to my phone so I know what is being sent to her.

TAIRUBY - posted on 02/23/2010

My daughter is 12, and I refuse to let her have one.. FB is not as private as other sites such as myspace. I let her have a myspace so she can play the games on them, but im right with her when she is on the computer. I moved it in my room so I can monitor what she is on, and I am the one who approves all her friends.. but i cant control what happens on FB, like I can on myspace. I know people that let their 10 year old have one and they already have problems with people posting crazy stuff on their site, and they get mad cause i wont add them, I dont add kids as my friend at all, that is inappropriate to me.. but in the end its your decision..

Shelia - posted on 02/23/2010

My daughter and I both have a facebook account. We have a lot of the same friends because we play Farmville. She is only 11 but her Dad and I have talked to her about what can happen in chat rooms and such. You can also set your privacy settings on Facebook as to who can see you profile and etc.I know her password and can check on what she says and does at any time. She has shown her Dad and I that she is very responsible not only on facebook but other places on the enternet as well.

Sara - posted on 02/23/2010

My 11 year old son has a facebook account. We originally set it up so that he could play farmville (I'm a farmville fanatic) but now he spends more time talking to his friends on it than anything else. My husband and I monitor it religously and he is not allowed to put up most of his information, but we allow him to join the groups and such that he wants. It is quite nice in a way, better than not having it, as he was hashing out an issue with a girl a few days ago, and he was somewhat rude to her. I guess she was nasty to him in elementary school and now that he is in middle school he hasn't forgiven her. Anyway, so my husband and I had a nice chat with him about how we can let the past be the past, and that everyone deserves a second chance. He got back online and wrote and apologized to her. It was really nice.

I'll also say that I get a copy of all of his messages and things so I can see what he is doing at all times, and we limit the number of games and such that he can join.

Carolyn - posted on 02/23/2010

I have allowed my 11 year old to have an account, but I monitor it pretty frequently and all that she really wants to do is talk with her cousins and/or sister who are on the East Coast and play the games, I believe that it is really dependent on the maturity level of your daughter, mine is more mature than most and I believe that she can handle the account and if she ever goes against the rules that I have set up for it, the account will be deleted, she cannot authorize anyone to be her friend unless I see who it is first and I have to have her password if/when she changes it for whatever reason, and her privacy level is set at the highest possible level and no person information is to be on her profile.

Sheri - posted on 02/23/2010

I have a 9 yr old son and he does not have a facebook account. Maybe when he turns 18 he can do it on his own. But for now I would want to keep him safe.

Stacy - posted on 02/23/2010

My daughter is 11 and we found a face book for kids site, the site seems extreamly safe, all chat's are monatored. When we set it up we used my email address, so all messages get sent to me so even if im not right over her shoulder i can still see what's being said. I trust her just not others! She has a lot of fun talking to her friends at school, and meeting new ones from other countries. The web site is www.fbfkids.com.

RicaMarie - posted on 02/23/2010

I allowed my son to have one and only allowed it be be view by family and only allowed him to have people i trusted and knew on his profile. there is nothing wrong with it as long as you monitor it and only allow who you approve on it. i dont allow him to look threw profiles and the only thing he can do is play games. so if your strick like i am then there will be no problem.

Trena - posted on 02/22/2010

Hello, I also have an 11 year old. I allowed her to have her own facebood account. Our computer is in our living room and I also put some blocks on hers through her account. She mostly gets on to play the games. With the computer in the living room we are always knowing what she is doing on the computer. For us it is very important to not allow children to have their own computer in their rooms. It is best to have it out where you can keep an eye on them without being around all the time. Just by walking past you can see what they are doing. I also check on her account by loggin in (since I was the one to open her acccount I have access all the time and let them know that). I would say depending on why she wants a facebook, that it is okay. I first logged in to facebook to pretty much check it out myself then my husband logged in also to check it out. They are quite abit of games on facebook the I figured my child would enjoy. I know of all of her friends on her facebook, mostly family and some of her closest friends from her class. Good luck to you. I know it is kinda of scarry, but you cant keep them away from some things forever even though you want to. Just be cautious and keep an eye on her posts and her friends lists.

Lisa - posted on 02/22/2010

My 11 year old daughter has been asking for her own FB page for months. The answer remains a firm "No." 1) she's not old enough per the rules set up by FB. 2) I've seen my 14 year old niece in action on FB and am not impressed with what I've witnessed from her, her friends, or the lack of parental control there, 3) she seems most interested in the games... I just let her play my games while sitting with her and that should be enough right now. By the way, I also have a 14 year old daughter who has many school friends on FB, yet she has expressed absolutely no interest (and in fact, a disdain) for setting up a FB account of her own, and that's just fine with me. I don't think pre-teens and young teens have the social maturity to act responsibly on the internet... there are a lot of weirdos out there and no matter what level of privacy you set up, hackers and perverts are always one step ahead. Maybe that's just me.

Amanda - posted on 02/22/2010

My daughter was only allowed to have one with the condition that I have her log in and password so I can go on it at anytime to chec up on her page. She was ok with that and I have not found anything negative yet. I guess we need to trust them a little and talk to them as what is right and wrong to make sure that you always know who their friends are. I do question her on who the person is on her friends list just to make sure that it's not someone she just met. Trust me they will get one without you knowing and if you can trust them a little they will not hide stuff from you. I have limits and boundaries and she pretty much respects all rules in the house.

Irma - posted on 02/22/2010

ooh....I didn't know about the age limit I did see I had to add a credit card number because of his bday but I just changed it, I felt uncomfortable adding my card number...I didn't tell him about that. He only gets on to play Petville, Farmville and Cafe World. He knows his limits and I am with him when he's on.

Irma - posted on 02/22/2010

I just did one for my son...don't put your child's picture on there and supervise. I only let him add some of my friends and limit the time. Oh...he's 10

Venus - posted on 02/22/2010

my son is 11 and wants one too. but i wont let him. you need to do what you feel!! plus if you do have to be 13 what would you be telling her by having to lie about her age? look into yourself and you'll find the answer.

Tina - posted on 02/22/2010

Hi Felisha, I know if you read the rules for facebook it says age 13 it also says 13-17 with parental supervision so I refused to allow my daughter an account until her 13th birthday and the day of her birthday I helped her open an account... I know a lot of kids have accounts before 13. I also have complete access to her account and the rules were layed down she does not accept anyone she does not know from school and I can at anytime read her mail and wall and go threw her friends list. I got the but mom all my friends have it and just simply said well I am not their mother and you will wait till your birthday... It is interesting you know a lot of the friends who had it before 13 have 2 or more accounts the ones the parents see and the other ones.... Good luck

Denise - posted on 02/22/2010

I haven't allowed my sons to get facebook until they turn 13. That is the rule on facebook, so I am following it. That is just my take on it! You also have to really monitor it after that, we have quite an issue with drama resulting from posts!

Nicole - posted on 02/22/2010

Well, My daughter is 12, We had a mishap not too long ago with her and the internet. As a measure for her to be able to express herself, I opened an account with her. She knows that We as her parents have complete access for her protection. I think that if parents are aware of what is going on in there child's life that it is okay. It also gives her the way f expression and keeping in touch with her friends. Just be aware of her site if you have one befriend her and you'll be able to see what is going on anyway. You don't have to be "invading" just be aware, and also you can then see what kind of friends she has.

Janelle - posted on 02/22/2010

Hi there my son is 11yrs and also has a page. I let him last year to keep in touch with family overseas so there was a purpose there. I too set it up so the computer remembers his passwords, and i keep an eye on posts on his page, (moreso what others are posting not necessarily his posts) i also have the computer in the familyl room, and limit no of his friends to a handful of his close school friends, and family only. If he wants to add someone, we just have a quick talk about it, at times I've said no he can't add them. I think it works well for us, and my son knows the rules and has no problems with me checking his page, or limiting his friends. He knows why I do it. Good luck with your decision.

Bobbie - posted on 02/22/2010

I have a 10 year old and an 11 year old, both girls, both have a page. I have it set up so they don't even know they're password. I just let the computer remember it. That way I know what they are doing. They're both very bright and trustworthy kids, but they are just kids. I also have it set up for all of their posts to be sent to my phone. So even when I'm at work I can know what they're putting on their page.

Sonia - posted on 02/22/2010

18, accept all the teens and kids are on there and just make them selves look like their 18. The truth is face book is pretty friendly and like anything as long you are well aware and managing their account then you have no problems. I personally have found that I have learned more about my son's friends on here what their true colors are rather then in front of you. This has helped me choose what I allow my son to hang around with and point out my concerns. I do believe in leverage and if you say no due to not wanting to take the time to help them, they will create this at their friends home and keep you a secret. Don't be a secret in your child's life, be their mentor for life. Best luck.

JACQUI - posted on 02/22/2010

Mine was 14

Niveen - posted on 02/22/2010

I think all the mothers or guardians that allowed their children to fake their birth date are not doing their children good. We should teach our children never to fake their information not only on FB but as a rule of thumb. Virtues and Values are more important as guidance in their life not Faking and Lying even if it is to a computer application like FB.

Rachel - posted on 02/21/2010

Just saw you were going to give it to her as a b-day present! GREAT IDEA!!! I am a military brat myself, hence the out of state family I mentioned. Facebook not only helps me keep in touch with family "back home" but also with my friends (many also military brats) who live at every corner of the globe. My brother met his wife while they were both stationed in Germany. There is alot of neat things to see there. Don't be afraid to get of base/post, there is so much you can learn in doing so. I never went to Germany, but have been fortunate enough to visit Japan and England. Though I am glad I no longer move every 4 years, I would still love to see more of the world!!!!

Rachel - posted on 02/21/2010

PLEASE NOTE:
Kids can set up these accounts at their friends, the local library or numerous other places. They can use a knick name you don't know but friends do. Not saying all kids will do this, but some do. You can let them do it by your rules and keep control. Or let them make their own somewhere else and try and control it that way....I say set it up and monitor. Yes there are sicko's out there, but based on statistics, most children are sexually abuse or harmed by a family or friends. Not only that you have to learn to trust them at some point. With facebook you can easily monitor and oversee. You will get to know your daughter better. My 14 year old said she gets to talk to out of state relatives that she otherwise wouldn't really know. It is good for these reasons. Family members help patrol as well. I get messages from them if they are concerned about a "friend" or "post" on my daughters site. Then if I am concerned, it's time for me and my daughter to talk. I get to learn which "friends" I want my children around. If they are disrespectful on facebook, then I am less likely to allow my daughter to be around them in person. In summary; Facebook is a responsibility for both of you. It can be a fun way to bond. It can build trust. It can help you learn more about your daughters personality. it helps her stay in touch with family, they would not normally get to talk to. Children are usually harmed by someone they know rather than a stranger. We have to teach our children to be sensible, socially adapt adults, who are able to make informed decsions about what is "safe" and what is not. Facebook can be used as a tool to assist in all of the afore mentioned.

Gayle - posted on 02/21/2010

Hi Felisha,

My son in on facebook, and I set it up not only for friends only, but on an email that forwards all messages to my normal one. That way, when he gets a request for a friend I usually know about it before he does.



I also know his password, and he knows that I have this information. We talk about being friends with school friends and family only, and discuss 'stranger danger'. He chose to put a drawing up as his ID pic, and I thought that was a great idea, and a bit of added security.



He chats with a few friends from school, and also with a couple who now live overseas. I think it's great. But I wouldn't push my choice on anyone either.



Hope this helps

Candi - posted on 02/21/2010

First off you are the mother and one in high authority over her and there's no way I'd allow my child of that age to participate on this site.You do have the say so over that! Now what's the main reason for her to join FB anyhow? We all know & I'm sure we understand that kids today aren't like yesterday so we as parents need to stand firm and stay consistent with the rule that is nothing more than the word "NO".That's it and that's all.They'll be alright cause its not that deep.

Lisa - posted on 02/21/2010

both my boy's r 8 yrs & 10 yrs with a facebook account, i check on them everynight, to see what they get up to, so far so good, they even come to me when some1 is asking to be there friend,they know there only allowed family members & school friends, i also know there passwords.i think its ok, only under supervision.

Suzy - posted on 02/21/2010

I won't let my 12 year old daughter have one yet. The rules say 13 and I am making her follow that. She has copped an attitude about it because "ALL of her friends have it". Not my concern. I'm HER mother. I agree with several of the other moms who have posted, I just don't think my daughter is socially responsible enough yet to have all her posts out there for everyone to read. Maturity plays a big part in my decision along with thinkig she is far too young to begin lying about her age. She's hoping to set up an account when she turns 13 but we will see! Good luck with your decision!

Tammy - posted on 02/21/2010

My 10 year old son has a facebook account. I know his password, and I monitor his time on the computer no matter what he is doing on there. He knows not to accept any friend request from people that we do not know.

Felicia - posted on 02/21/2010

Also, make sure you have her login information. I have my daughter's and I can check it anytime I want.

Felicia - posted on 02/21/2010

My daughter is 11. She has one. She just likes to play the games. She's only allowed on when I'm with her and I approve all friend requests. So, the friends on her friends list is family and her school friends.

Rosa - posted on 02/21/2010

I have an 11 yr she will be 12 in May...I won't let her have a fb account. It's not that I don't trust her because I do..She is very smart in what she does and says and knows what info not to give out, BUT it's the other people on their that I don't trust...I will allow her to have one but not til she is a little older...

Christel - posted on 02/21/2010

I have a fourteen year old daughter and she has a facebook account. I have her sign in name and password so that I can keep track of what is going on on her page and she is not allowed to add any friends unless she asks me first. I set the page up for her when her aunt moved to Flordia. I made sure that only her friends could see her profile and have restrictions set on her computer.

Carla - posted on 02/21/2010

I told both my boys that their not having a facebook account until their 13.

Tanida - posted on 02/21/2010

I have a 14 & 15 they both have facebook and myspace. I check their accounts and friends. They just post pix of activities they are up too and add their friends from school and I am a friend too so I can see what they are doing

App+7mnejhu - posted on 02/21/2010

age 18 to 20 let her go to Barbie.com there are lots of kids there her age and older
facebook has some kids but just a few more fun on the barbie site

Annika - posted on 02/21/2010

I have a 9 year old that asked for a Facebook account but the terms and condidtions of use for most social networking sites, including facebook is 13 years old so by parents agreeing to the terms and conditions of use, if there is a problem with cyberbulling or internet grooming then as the responsible adult I would be liable and in breach of the terms and conditions of use as I knowing signed up, on behalf of my child, knowing she was under age. Internet Providers and social networking sites have put age restrictions on their members for a variety of reasons mostly linked with the e-safety aspect of internet provision. I have read the Byron report in depth and beleive that internet use is an important part of childrens childhoods and development but, like swimming, you start of in the learners class and progress as you become more competent, with the support of floats, swimming instructors etc so age restrictions on social networking sites work in a similar way and are there to protect, especially children who do not have the emotional capacity to know when and where to seek support and help should things go wrong. And having worked with child sex offenders I know first hand how manipulating they can be and at 9 I know my daughter is far from able to discern who is a friend and who isn't. It does depend on how much as a parent we are willing to monitor and talk to our children about e-safety becasue at the end of the day they are often more computer savvy then we are!!

Jenna - posted on 02/21/2010

My 9 and 11 year olds want them too because their friends have them. The answer is no. If you don't have the time or the desire to monitor their use, then don't let them have it. Too many predators out there in the cyber world and it just isn't worth it.

HOPE - posted on 02/21/2010

My 10 year old is asking for one too but the answer is "NO" for what? I want to be sure all the friends she have at that age is someone that I am right there seeing and I know the parents to see the childs surroundings.



I didnt allow my son to have one until he was 15 and I still monitored that.

Kelly - posted on 02/21/2010

my son is 12 gona be 13 in june and he keeps asking me for facebook to.but i am very unsure about it too. i do have facbook myself but i do not use it that much so im not vry familiar with it .but my siter has 4 kids and they all have one.so i feel bad not lettingmy 12yr old son.... so i guess im in the same situation. my daughter is almost 17. and i asked her oppion on it and she said no mom. but i think what i should do is put my computer downstairs .cause it is currently upstairs. ..so i gusse it all boils down to is not, r they old enough .r they responsable enough..but i looked at all the comments and taking them all in.thanks to all .

Latoya - posted on 02/21/2010

Felisha you're not tripping:) You're being smart. My 11yr old daughter also wants a facebook account. I said no :))

Jackie - posted on 02/21/2010

I have a daughter that is 10 and she has a facebook account. We have strict rules about who she can be friends with, only family members and kids that she knows from school. I also pop onto every once in a while just to monitor it. She has had it for a while and we haven't had any problems. It depends on the maturity level of your daughter.

Heather - posted on 02/21/2010

My 12 year old son has his own facebook, and has had it for about 3 months. All seems to be going well with that. My 10 year old daughter however doesn`t have one, she lacks the maturity I believe is needed to have the wisdom to add or not add someone. I don't believe she would talk to me about the names she's unsure of, she would add them anyway.

I guess it comes down to how well you know your children.

Is your daughter trustworthy? Will she come to you if someone asks her to add them to her friends list, if she doesn't know them? Is she open and honest in other areas of her life, because if she isn't then there is a chance she won't be about facebook as well. But if she is, then I say there is no harm in allowing her to have her facebook account. It's a wonderful way for them to keep in touch with friends, without tying up the phone lines like I know I used to as a teen age girl.

I caution you tho, keep an eye on it. Keep her accountable. That's probably the most important part of it.

Veronica - posted on 02/21/2010

My daughter is 12 and she has one. Facebook is actually a fairly good one to have, people have to ask to be her friend. If she does not know them she denies them. If you are not a 'friend' you cannot talk to them, they can't talk to you nor can they see what you have been doing. Twitter and MySpace STAY AWAY FROM!! You can help her with her privacy settings. It's also a good way to know what your kids are talking about. I know that when she gets older things will be different. Right now she plays some of the same games I do and she talks to her friends this way too. You can keep tabs on them, but you have to be their friend. If she denies you as a friend, she can't have it.

Carol - posted on 02/20/2010

my 11yr old has one i just montior her and only let her add family and friends i know. so far it has worked out great.

Tracey - posted on 02/20/2010

I thought it was 16 to open a facebook account and 13 for myspace?