My 12 year old step daughter was caught in the woods going down on a 13 year old boy. Any tips on how to handle this situation?

Amanda - posted on 10/16/2011 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My 12 year old step daughter was caught in the woods going down on a 13 year old boy. Does any one have any tips on how to handle a situation like this. We had a talk about what all that can lead to and a friend had her come over and find out how hard it is to take care of a baby. She is still sneaking out to see this boy. I have no clue what to else to do.

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Amanda - posted on 10/16/2011

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Well its time for some serious sex education. Pictures of STDs/STIs would be a great tool, and the effects of them. IE HPV causes oral cancer. Lets not forget gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis , HIV.



Then when the scare tactics are over, ask her why she feels she needs to express herself in such a way with boys.

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Chandler - posted on 12/06/2012

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i think its time to talk to our kids about how it is in life. i mean come on there not 12 when there going to be 20 or any other

Jen - posted on 01/04/2012

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I agree with the comment: Keep her busy.



Sports; rec groups where there is adult supervision...even planned trips to the local pool.



There's lots of things kids can do at that age.



I've seen posters at sport places; that quote research results...i can't remember the percentage...but kids and teens active in sports etc are more likely to stay away from drugs; gangs, alcohol etc. I'm assuming under-age sex activities falls into that as well.



It makes sense, if they're always going to the pool...a youth group...or a girls club; or soccer....they're too busy to be out in the woods doing who knows what else.



Good chance they'll be too tired too. (If its a real busy schedule, they even go to bed earlier, by choice! I call that a win win situation!)



Before my kids got into Martial Arts; they were in soccer. By far, the cheapest sport I've put my kids in yet...but it was also the most active. Sometimes I was out of the house driving kids to games or practices for 6 days each week.



I was always active as a kid; and I never got that far with a guy until I was in my 20s.



Friends who weren't in any after-school programs or clubs did get that far while still in school.



It makes sense to me. Keep your kids active; keep them away from stuff like this until they're old enough to deal with it.



Edit: maybe get her in a sport like soccer; and swim lessons/lifeguard training...I guess at her age she may have already been through swim lessons. Both are very physically demanding. She'll be too tired for anything else. ha.



Well...maybe not, but you could get her into a Christian youth group or other youth groups the day's she's not doing a phsycial activity/sport.

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So have some talks with her, let the police know they will keep a eye out and check on the house late at night to see if they can catch her...Then after that looks like its time for some bars on windows, take away all the clothes she likes, hell if you have to shave her bold :) hair will grow back... but I guarantee you she wont pull this crap for a while.. You tell her if she goes out again this will happen.. then this, then that.. set up a obgyn app for her, have her go threw the full routine.. tell her if she wants to act like she is grown well time to do grown up things! Rent birth videos 'live birth" and make her watch them over and over and over again. then there is still alarms, making her sleep in the same room as you. putting her on a baby leash always have it connected to your arm even if you have to go potty she can sit there while you poo! ♥ good luck keep us posted ♥

[deleted account]

Oh, wow!!! Reading that made my stomach hurt a little bit. :( Have you spoken to the 13 year old's parents? It's no joke that it takes a village to raise a child and in this case, it may take a combined effort from both sets of parents to sort this out. I will tell you this, if this were my son in this situation, I sure would want to know about it and I would be more than happy to do my part to address the problem.

Rebecca - posted on 12/07/2011

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To be honest, I would lock her in a closet and never let her out. I am not sure, actually, what I would do in your situation.

Dian - posted on 12/04/2011

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It is scary but Children today don't believe that this is sex they have these parties that all the girls were different lipstick and boys see how many different colours they can get. My girlfriend is having the same problem with her child good luck I don't know what I would do

User - posted on 12/02/2011

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Well you can not be around them twenty four sevens....I agree with sex ed talks...and pictures.....abt STD'S....and lots of activity---accountabilty is key....keep em busy busy busy

Sherri - posted on 12/02/2011

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Well #1 she is too young to be out of an adults constant supervision so that is where I would start. Know where your daughter is at all times and whom she is with. If she is sneaking out her window take her bedroom door off and she loses any and all privacy. Do not let her out of your site other than when she is in school.

Also maybe it is time to go get her on some long term birth control something that is an implant.

User - posted on 12/01/2011

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I have found that trying to forbid a child from doing something always makes them want to do it more. Maybe after the sex talk you can find a way to compromise...They can see each other but with conditions and rules (limits).
Maybe having her speak to another family member or a councelor about her feelings might help. Raising kids is hard enough, but doing it in a split family with step-parents involved it 10 times more challenging .... Good luck

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