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My 12yr old son verbally abuses me and physically attacked me, help...

Bec - posted on 10/01/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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He flys off the handle at the smallest thing but especially if it's request from me that he doesn't want to do, "practise your times tables" results in instantanious combustion.

I am a sole parent and do call my parents for support on occasion. Yesterday Alex used the last of the milk for a huge drink , I told him he had been inconsiderate of the others in our house and he instantly backanswered me. When I tried to reason with him over it he yelled and swore at me, I said "don't speak to me like that!" but he kept yelling and swearing calling me a f*#king bitch. I sent him to his room with more abuse following. I went into his room and told him off for everything, he kicked out at my stomache etc. so I walked out saying "that's it!" he followed me down the hallway yelling abuse and when I picked up my phone to call for help he grabbed my arm hard to stop me.....more yelling/swearing/hitting/scratching at me. I tried to defend myself and we ended up tangled on the floor. I managed to ring my neighbour for help and she came with her husband. The last time Alex did anything like this was about 2 yrs ago. Our circumstances hve changed for the better since then however and this physical violence was completely unexpected. He knew exactly where the soft skin was and was using all his considerable strength to hurt me as much as he could.

I'm scared and I don't want him to grow up thinking this behaviour is acceptable, is it too late to fix this? I love him and I know he is made of more than this.

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7 Comments

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Karen - posted on 09/06/2012

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I also feel I am at the end of the line too! My 11 year old son has always been a bit agressive and heavy handed. He always shouts even when I am standing next to hIm! Yesterday he said to me "screw you" in front of a friends child. What do I do where do I turn to. He has no respect for me or anyone at all. Where do I turn we have been to behavioural therapists and councellors and still no further for . Help help.



Karen

Kerrie - posted on 05/03/2012

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Im feeling your pain, i have a son aged just thirteen, he takes so much pleasure out of making me miserable, making me cry and feel bad about myself. I ask him to do something like take a plate in the kitchen and i am greted by F,, off or worse, he shouts when asked something like he wants the neighbours to listen,,, very angry. swears and is just very horrible., if i say something he does his best to make me feel bad about my appearance, calls me fat and ugly so every night once ive been told to shut up and F... offf so many times u kind of believe it, Im not a bad person but now i feel that im a total rubbish parent

Toni - posted on 10/04/2009

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Wow-did not think that this was so common at this age. My sister-n-laws son at this age was getting there. He enrolled himself into some Anger Management Class that they offered at his school. You should be able to find these in some place in your community and maybe even his school. By the way-it totally turned around his whole personality. Now after she has worked all night-he wakes up early, greets her at the door and makes her breakfast-all before he goes to school. He is now 15 and is a great pleasure to be around. Hope you have the best of luck!!

Heather - posted on 10/04/2009

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Is he on drugs, or abused? Once thats ruled out, if you can afford it, boarding school really helped my daughter and I swore I'd never do that but once they won't listen to us, they have to listen to the teachers in control of them at school and my daughter ended up with an OP of 17 and is now a nurse, before she left she hit me, pushed me down some staire, tryed to commit suicide and begged me to get her out of town, if I left her in town she wouldn't be where she is today, Get him away from the crowd his hanging around right now!! Counselling is useless I found, I also put my daughter on anti-depressants, it pulled her through her teenage years, she's now off them but I think it helped change the direction she was heading as they make them not make a mountain out of a molehill while their hormones are wild!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good Luck

Renee - posted on 10/02/2009

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You need outside help immediately! Please don't let this continue. You or anyone else he comes in contact with doesn't deserve being treated like this!

Brenda - posted on 10/02/2009

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I have no idea. This couldn't have just happened. The disrespect had to be there and kept building up. My children never disrespected me as they knew better. If a curse word ever crossed their mouths they would have been floored, period. Sounds like it has built to a dangerous stage though. You may need help getting control of the situation now. Best find some help soon.

Tanya - posted on 10/02/2009

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Hi there, what a terrible situation to be in ,im sure this has been very hard for you to have this happen to you by your son...Has he witnessed that happen to you by someone else???

sometimes they pratice what they have seen although that is not an excuse for that behaviour..

I think you need to get some anger counciling as he is struggling with some deep issues and taking them out on you..

not sure if he sees his father but that may help ...deffinately needs some outside help with this issue before he gets older and doesnt know how to handle tough times with his own wife and resorts to this again but does much more damage...

you are doing very well and trying your best but maybe its time to get some outside help for this behaviour..

I wish you all the very best with you son and hope that he gets the help that he clearly needs and you can both have peaceful times together...:-)

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