my daughter is 11yrs old.... i just found out through my domestic helper that she hates me as a mother.... should i confront her?

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Claudette - posted on 05/29/2012




I would talk with her and see what the problem is, I wouldn't tell her that your helper told you because you don't want her to stop telling her stuff if that is where your getting your info.
But I know how you feel when your kid tells someone else things, and not you. It hurts.
You know, I feel like my 12 yr old doesn't like me at times. Everytime I try to do stuff with her she doesn't want to do it. I even tried to take her shopping to spend time with her and she acted like it was the worst thing. She tells her dad that I asked to many questions.
I talked with her about this and told her that I asked to many questions because I am her mom, and that I am never going to stop asking questions, because the minute that I do will be when she thinks that she can do what ever she wants because she would think that Ididn't care. I ask questions because I care, I care about whats going on at school, or in your life. That is my job as a parent.
But the thing is, I either have to be a parent, or her friend. I choose to be her parent, and she can like me or dislike me, I am not going to spend the energy and the time to make her like me, but I will keep her safe and continue to be her mother and be here for her when she needs it.
good luck and I hope things work out for you and your daughter.

Paula - posted on 05/26/2012




You dont say what your normal relationship is like. Yeah, I would sit down and talk with her, not confront her, my daughter and I discuss things more now that she's older, she has just started to change her behaviour being 11. There are things that she doesn't like about what I do and also things that she does. The main thing is we talk about it. Chat to her and ask HER how she is. Listen to her, sometimes thats what we can forget to do and maybe that's all she wants

Litchfield - posted on 05/23/2012




My first inclination is..all 11 thru 17 year old girls hate their Mothers. If you think it is more than just normal "I hate my parents" then yes you cuold talk to her if you feel it necessary.

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