My daughter is bipolar. I need help!

April - posted on 08/11/2012 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I am 28 and I have 3 children. My oldest daughter is 11 and she has all the symptoms of being bipolar. Her dad is also bipolar and she is the exact clone. My problem is that I can't get any doctors to help me. They refuse to diagnose her with bipolar disorder. She is seeing a doctor and is on meds which they help about 50 percent of the time. I feel like her doctor only listens half way but he is the only one that believed me that there was a problem. I guess my question is if anyone knows what I can do to get her properly diagnosed and if there is a better doctor out there that will actually listen to me. Her rages are very drastic to the point where she tries to dig at her face with her nails. I need to get her some help that will actually work so that she is happy again. We live in North Georgia and I can't stress enough how serious this is. I am afraid for her.

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April - posted on 09/12/2012

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that doesn't work because all she tells me is that she doesn't know what she is thinking. all she knows is that she hates the way she acts and after she finally calms down she apologizes and sometimes cries because she doesn't know what is wrong with her. i honestly believe that she can not control herself most of the time and nobody believes me. it has become so bad that it has made a wedge between family members saying she is spoiled and that is why she acts the way she does. i can't express enough how my heart aches for her and that i can't get anyone to listen to me so that she can get the help she needs.

April - posted on 08/30/2012

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Yes she is on meds that seem to be helping a lot. I do feel however that one of her meds needs to be upped just one more time. Her dr refuses to do that. I have taken her off of all dyes, sugar, chocolate ect. and it seems to help a whole lot. I have also been giving her the fish oil. I did not know about the sodium and the rest of it. She is already a picky eater and it upsets her that she can't have the stuff that all the other kids can have. I try to explain to her that there are just some kids that can't have it and some that can. Change is a real big issue for her and her latest few changes is that her biological father has decided that he doesn't need his meds and has now abandoned her. My husband would gladly adopt her but her father would have to sign papers and he won't. The other change is school starting and although she loves school this year she has trouble coping with everyday life. If someone is mean to her then she doesn't do anything about it until she comes home and acts out. She panics if she thinks her teachers are going to be mad at her for any reason big or small.

Roxanna - posted on 08/26/2012

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April, please give us an update! After years of rages, mood swings, promiscous behavior and almost destroying my life, I was finally diagnosed with Bipolarity! What a relief! I have been on meds for a little over a year and I feel amazing. Ofcourse, I still have highs and lows, but self control is the key.

We are ALL Bipolar, most people have the normal, moderate ups and downs...and then there are people like me, my daughter and your daughter. Depression, Anger issues, and ADHD are all symptoms of Bipolaity.

I can see you have educated yourself, use that knowledge to get a psychiatrist who is more focused on adolescents. Please, please have this child medicated immediately! You have done a great job in changing her diet, also try to remove sodium, nitrates and sugar. Add magnesium supplements, serotonim, fishoil.

From WEBMD: There is no specific bipolar diet. Nevertheless, it is important to make wise dietary choices that will help you maintain a healthy weight and stay well. These choices include:



Avoiding the "Western" style diet that's rich in red meats, saturated fats and trans fats, and simple carbohydrates. This eating style is associated with an increased risk for obesity, type 2 diabetes, and heart disease. Reducing intake of saturated fats and simple carbohydrates can be helpful to overall health but does not directly affect the course of psychiatric symptoms in bipolar disorder.

Eating a balance of protective, nutrient-dense foods. These foods include fresh fruits, vegetables, legumes, whole grains, lean meats, cold water fish, eggs, low-fat dairy, soy products, and nuts and seeds. These foods provide optimal levels of nutrients necessary to maintain good health and prevent disease.

Watching caloric intake and exercising regularly to maintain a healthy weight. Some findings show that those with bipolar disorder may have a greater risk for overweight and obesity. Talk to your doctor about ways to avoid weight gain when taking bipolar medications.

Good luck!

April - posted on 08/21/2012

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yes all this is great help. i know when she has off days because they are very severe. today she was having a manic high and she couldn't stop talking and her rudeness she thought she was being cute and funny. i told her she wasn't but she wouldn't believe me. it takes a lot of patients to deal with her. she is on meds and no she is not adhd. she has been tested for that. she doesn't have any issues at school but what she does do is if something bad happens at school or if she things something bad happened at school then she will hold it in until she gets home and then she one of her "fits" as i like to call them. and it will last for hours and hours and sometimes into the next day. i tried to take her to an in house facility but they wouldn't take her. they wanted to do a day treatment and i couldn't afford to drive there every day and i don't have one closer to where i live. i also think she either blacks out of spaces out when she has her "fits" because when something happens in her mind she either doesn't remember it or she remembers it wrong.

Angela - posted on 08/21/2012

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I had to find an in house facility for my son. They diagnosed him bipolar (after years of trying to get him help). He spent about three weeks in there, then came home. He's had to go back a couple of times for meds adjustment. You have to have CONSISTENT discipline for her actions. It is hard. It takes a lot of time, but it works.

Marissa - posted on 08/21/2012

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Know when she is soaring and crashing and I believe it is better that way with your help she will learn to cope without mess and become better at expressing her own emotions

Marissa - posted on 08/21/2012

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You seem to be in the exact same boat as I am. My daughter is 14 they have refused tdiagnose her too. Fist of all please, don't let her know you are afraid of her. I have a lot of advice but I will type as much as I can and probably respond again. You need to keep a journal; her ups, her downs, what she ate that day, a complete record of her swings, has she hit you or members of your family, stuff like that. Then you need to observe to see if you can find a pattern or sequence of actions that will clue you in on when she is crashing. You need to be a constant in her life she needs to know that no matter what her moods are doing that day you understand. You also need to understand, do some research, learn all you can. When you discipline her it needs to be short and to the point and don't dwell on her mistake, that includes the whole family. A lot of bipolar kids are ADHD, and most ADHD mess effect bipolar kids negatively. As for the scratching and screaming be firm, let her know that it isn't ok, have her sit on her hands if she try's tto hurt herself or family members. The only way to deal with this without diagnosis is to...

April - posted on 08/16/2012

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Thank you so much. There is a possibility that she is depressed and I told him that. I don't believe that she is ADHD. I'm pretty sure she was tested for that. She does not act up in public but she feels that screaming in the car is still in her comfort zone. All they will tell me is that she is too young to diagnose as bipolar and I know that is crap because I know a few kids that are younger than her that is diagnosed with bipolar. She has insurance but it is Amerigroup Medicaid so my options are limited. One guy I had her see literally said that the way she behaves was totally my fault and I needed to tell him how I was going to fix it. I immediately fired him and never went back. Her behavior also gets worse during school. Change is one of her many set offs. I have also had to take her off of sugar, dyes, and chocolate which has caffeine in it. Which help quiet a bit which I have also looked up and they are all triggers for bipolar ppl. I am getting very frustrated with these ppl that call themselves doctors and won't listen to anything anyone tells them.

Charlene - posted on 08/15/2012

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Hi There - My son is 10 and going into the 5th grade this year; since 1st grade I knew that something about him was "off". He was easily distracted, had a short temper and was always yelling at both myself and my husband. My friends (the moms of his friends) were witness to many yelling, hitting and pushing tantrums so I knew that I wasn't going crazy making this up. After trying to find someone to help me and give me an answer I met a doctor that suggested that he se a neuropsych for testing. He did the testing and was diagnosed with depression but I was still convinced that he had ADHD but I wasn't getting anywhere with anyone wanting to give me that diagnosis.

Another school year approaching quickly and he was getting worse, I knew that he needed to start medication soon and found a doc to listen. I told her about the depression and after answering some questions she asked me if I would mind putting him on an ADHD med - for his violent outbursts and lack of impulse control, of course I said YES. Long story short - after 1 day of medication the results were like night and day. The true test will be next week when school starts but I am hopeful. I am also able to get an ADHD diagnosis added on to his IEP and he should start getting the help he needs.

ADHD and Depression usually go hand in hand so you might want to research them together then go to a psychiatrist with your findings make them diagnose her. Even a small dose will probably help your daughter out. My son in taking Intuniv for the ADHD, a non-stimulent and as far as I am concerned a miracle drug (acts right away) and a small dose of Prozac for the depression (which should help in 6-8 weeks).

I'm concerned that her doc knows that her dad is bipolar and which is a huge red flag.
If your doctor won't listen to you - fire him and go to another,. I would see a psychiatrist or Nurse Practitioner who could diagnose and prescribe some medication and has some mental illness background. A neuropsych test is a great start if you have insurance (they can be very expensive).

Please don't give up, keep calling new docs and you will find the help you need. You know your daughter, don't let anyone else tell you different. If you need to chat don't hesitate to to get in touch.
XOXO
Charlene Kaput

April - posted on 08/13/2012

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Yes I have been been to a few places and the meds she is on is for bipolar but they will not say that she is bipolar. All they can tell me is that she has some kind of mood disorder. Which I know is a B.S. answer. They just don't want to diagnose her. The problem I'm having is that if they don't diagnose her then she can't get the correct help she needs. I have tried to get her into Peachford in Atlanta but they won't take her because she hasn't tried to kill herself. But when she is in one of her rages she claws at her face and also sticks her hand in her mouth and pulls at her jaw.

Dee - posted on 08/13/2012

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Ah honey, I'm so sorry you are going through this. Honestly I believe my daughter is borderline Bi-Polar. She hates her life and wants to die. (which scares me to death!). Where have you looked for the diagnosis? In your general area?

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