My eldest daughter is 10 and she is currently going through a lot of changes, mainly due to her being close to starting her periods.....does anyone have any ideas on how to make this easier for her?

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hi iv been through the same with both my girls aged 15 and 12 its so hard for them to understand wots going on.i sat with both my girls and said i have been throught the same it hard but its part of growing up and u will be there if and when she needs youi think i found it harder than they did my babys growing up.sadie

Jeannette - posted on 11/13/2008

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Try to find a netural ground for you to communicate with her. My daughter is 10 and we like to go and play pool on Sundays at a local bar and grill. What is nice about going on Sundays is there are not many people there and she enjoys playing pool. The information she shares with me about friends and school during this time is priceless. I try to talk to her at home but she is always blows me off. During our "pool" sessions, I don't even have to ask she just talks and talks and talks. Hope this helps!! Good Luck!

Angie - posted on 11/13/2008

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There are lots of books out there now for parents to buy for their young daughter who's about to enter puberty/mensturation that's very helpful for girls. I sugguest reading it first to decide how much you want to allow your daughter to read. I my self don't hold back on my daughters. I got the book for my first daughter who's now 20 and it helped her a lot. We also talked about it. My youngest, 10 yr. started her cycle and thought it was the end of the world. She read the book and I found a website on the female reproductive system and went through it with her. By opening up with your daughter and talking about the facts of life as a young lady will hopefully build a strong bond between the mother and daughter. It did with mine and they're comfortable in coming to me to talk about it. Buy her a small calendar and show her how to keep track of her cycle. Isn't that scarey??? Your baby growing up right in front of your eyes. Oh how I wish she was 2 again. Good Luck!!

Andrea - posted on 11/13/2008

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Explain to her about the changing that is occuring in her body. I have had some luck with my own daughter and I find that the books that she has have helped her alot. and she has taught me some interesting facts too.

If you have a wal-mart near you- the books are called; The care and keeping of you (the body book for girls.

Good Luck.

Laura - posted on 11/13/2008

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I like the idea of empowering my daughter, as all of the other loving mothers who have answered before me. This is a fabulous bonding opportunity for mothers and daughters. My daughter started menstruating just at 11, and would often have specific symptoms of diahrrea and headache as well as some bloating. An easy, non-invasive remedy is to brew and drink some Raspberry Tea any where up to 2 weeks before and during her cycle. It is excellent for anyone with most any kind of stomach problems, and it strengthens the uterus as well, supporting her cycle as balancing her energy. She could take on some of her own *self-care by making her own tea, and not just having to deal with the *yucky part of becoming a young lady. Empowering. Of course, Mommies, on those really tough "falling apart - can't take it any more" days, you get to pamper her. It is a big win-win and a wonderful ritual (healthy and healing) she gets to carry into Womanhood. ~Namaste

[deleted account]

I find humor is often the best tool for taking the edge off difficult discussions.....I say what needs to be said ---about their body, their feelings, etc....but I always end it with some joke--poking fun at myself usually. We end of giggling and I dance out of the room. Hopefully, by keeping the fun in our dialogue, these "talks" won't be dreaded. I also try to start conversations with "I know I am an OLD lady, but I do remember being 12....there was a boy I liked in the neighborhood...blah...blah..."....and so I let her know from the start that any thing she is feeling has been felt by me too and that I can offer insight. I find my daughter often says things like "All the girls are wearing makeup to the dance." --so I respond "Do you want to wear makeup to the dance? Let's talk about it."

Hope this helps. She just started her period (age 12 and a half)...and she's adopted so I know this pivotal moment of "fertility" raises questions about her own birth mother - getting pregnant and giving away her baby daughter.

Linda in Chattanooga

Leigh - posted on 11/11/2008

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I made sure my daughter had panty liners in a purse she kept in her backpack for school. I also made sure she had them in her bathroom. Then I told her to let me know if she was running low on them and I would get her some right away. She felt kinda grownup to have these things right on hand to use them when she might even feel like she needed to. I sometimes buy different products to let her decide what brand she likes best. I just put them on her desk in her room without her asking. Then she can tell me which things she likes the best. The attitude. I remind my daughter that when other girls are being difficult and mean they just might be feeling what she is feeling PMS. So be forgiving and give them a chance to be nice on another day. Then maybe they will be forgiving to you. I also told her sometimes I get PMS and am extra grummpy, so lets try to catch ourselves doing that, and forgive eachother when we mess up. Good luck!!

Kelly - posted on 11/08/2008

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Me and my daughter have a very close "mum and daughter" relationship. She talks to me about anything thats she's feeling and quite often i can tell when she's holding back from me, which most of the time i get it out of her anyway, i have had many talks with her about what will happen and quite possibly how she's going to feel, but sometimes, i just wonder to myself if there is anything else i can say to her to make her feel better. she is very strong minded and do think she will cope quite well, but, there is still that nagging thought "could i be doing more for her" and that is my worry probably more than hers. So i again would like to sat thank you to all who have helped me so much with there opinions and suggestions they will all come in so helpful.

Suzanne - posted on 11/06/2008

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I have just tried very hard to have an open and honest relationship with my daughter. She speaks pretty candidly with me about issues that come up. She hasn't started yet - (she's 11 and a half) but already prepared with a maxi-pad in her backpack. We are also heading to "Passport to Purity" ( a church program) this weekend with some other girls her age to talk about many up and coming issues of this age.

Shelley - posted on 11/06/2008

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And I place books on her bed about all of these issues and more (age appropriate) in case it's too embarrassing for her to ask me.

Shelley - posted on 11/06/2008

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My daughter is now 14 and started at 11. She cried for months every time she started her period. My approach is similar to Jennifer Gearman. I don't sugar coat - I share my experiences - and if she has to cry - she cries. I told her it was natural and when she feels extra emotional, tired etc. it's her body telling her to be gentle with herself and take xtra care of herself. AND - mommy is always here.

Amy - posted on 11/06/2008

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My daughter is 10 as well and I think she's very close to starting. I've talked with her a lot, and I got her an American Girls book from Walmart that's been a lot of help explaining a lot of the changes. She knows she can talk to me, but if it's too embarassing to ask, she knows it's in that book.

Kelly - posted on 11/06/2008

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Thank you to all who have replied with ideas, they are all very helpful.

I have sat down with her and had "the chat" with her about what to expect when it does happen and i definately like the idea of calendering the 28 day cycle, it will help me to see when her moods change and it might give me a good idea as to when it will finally happen.

So again I would like to say a BIG THANK YOU to all who replied, you have all been so kind.

Jennifer - posted on 11/06/2008

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I think the most important this to do is to keep her informed and make sure that she knows that you are approachable for any questions. I do not sugar coat the changes and the issues that my daughter is going through and she knows that she can rely on me to be honest with her. I like the idea of calendaring the 28 day cycle, I think that will help you more than it will help her. I try to go easy on my daughter during this time and give lots of hugs and have plenty of mommy daughter time.

Marie - posted on 11/06/2008

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I have a 16 year old daughter who started at 9 and an 11 year old who started when she was 10 and it is very frustrating for them to start so young. Patience is the best. It is hard for them to keep their emotions in check. I also started marking on the calendar and my youngest was 28 day mood swings and emotions right to the day. By doing that at least I kind of knew when to be more prepared for it because I knew she couldn't control the crying and emotions.

Angela - posted on 11/06/2008

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I got my daughter(12) onto the libragirl site its a bit of fun and teaches them bits and pieces- bits about girls and boys. I also got the book 'secret girls business' which seems to have helped also. Goodluck

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