my son can be a real charmer and helper ,he is 11 years old and have x 2 other siblings both girls age 5 and 3 months ,yet he can become very aggressive at times ,and moody ,and nasty to his little sis ..he has his on and off days ,but how do i keep him just OFF and not ON

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Cherith - posted on 08/20/2012

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hi there Jayanthi
You are so right ,Last night the girls went to put more early than usual ,and Jamie(son) came to lie by me while watching a movie and he says"mom do u know that i havent laid behind you back for a longggggggggg time
I wanted to cry -and i told him "yes u are right my boy ,im so sorry ,we need to make it happend every once in a while
I will put the kids to bed 15-20min earlier and then you can spend "back time" with me
I do tuck him in every night and give him a kiss and tell him that i love him in the evening ,but maybe he is craving it a bit more
Im going to write him a letter today ,telling him how much i appreciate and love him ,he loves letters and do my best to spend one on one time with him
He really is a sweet boy and only wants to make me happy ,and YES ,you are right ,no more repeating his bad behaviour
Thank you so much ,will keep you posted regarding his "mood changes "

Cherith - posted on 08/20/2012

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thank you so much Katie ,i will put this in motion tonight ,He loves helping me and making me feel special ,so 2nite the tables will be turned
Will treat him like a big big brother that he is and ask he to maybe keep the litle one and then just help the middle one with some of her reading ,and then thanking and praising him for it
Thank you so much once again

Katie - posted on 08/19/2012

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Boys need wins. Can you talk and work with your son so that he can have positive experiences and/or be your little hero? My son really loves to do things that end up making me happy. I'm NOT talking about manipulating him. I mean figuring out ways he might like to help using one of his strengths. (is he strong, is he clever, is he creative) Maybe he can help you figure something out, or help around the house or with his sisters? Then honestly and sincerely thank him for his contribution or help.

Jayanthi - posted on 08/17/2012

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hi cherith,
Your son seems to be undergoing a lot of insecure feelings because of his two younger siblings. Maybe he is craving for your attention, which may be getting divided among all your kids. Not only that, please remember that he is growing up and will soon enter teenage. His aggression and moody behaviour maybe due to this. Do handle him carefully and always involve him in whatever you do so that he feels that he is not left out. Make him feel important and tell him that he being the elder brother is more mature and understanding. Make him feel responsible and protective towards his siblings. And on some days, inspite of everything , if he becomes nasty, then just let him be. Everybody has his/her share of bad days. Discuss his bad behaviour later with him, when is in a more responding mood. But do not keep repeatedly discussing his bad behaviour.
Wish you good luck.
jayanthi

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