Night light and prayer

Melinda - posted on 02/24/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )

4

37

0

My step daughter is 11 and still sleeps with a night light. I tell her she is not a baby anymore and that if she wants to grow up and act grown up she needs to not sleep with a night lihgt. Her father on the other hand thinks its ok.. Am I being to hard on her? Oh and She wants to cry if daddy doesnt tuck her in at night. Whats up with that. If we go to bed before her on weekends..shes fine But when she wants it her way she gets upset... HELP

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Melanie - posted on 02/27/2010

275

21

6

geez shes still a little kid and most likely starting to deal with grown up hormones. lighten up.

Felicia - posted on 02/24/2010

129

7

10

I don't think the nightlight is such a big deal. I have one in my room. But that's because I don't want to trip on something in the middle of the night. I'd let it go if I were you.

Sherri - posted on 12/24/2010

9,593

15

387

I still sleep with a night light. Night lights aren't for babies!! Heck my mom & dad who are in their 60's still sleep with a night light. So does my 13, 12 and 4 yr old boys. Why is it a big deal she doesn't like the dark? Honestly not understanding the problem here?

[deleted account]

My daughter just turned twelve and has always had a nightlight. I see no harm and when she wants an extra hug at night or maybe a story I cherish it because I know soon enough she won't want either of us in her room at all. Security is found in rituals and that is something parents need to provide.

Debbie - posted on 02/28/2010

13

1

1

Pick your battles! Night lights are not worth arguing over. There are much bigger issues you should focus on.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

13 Comments

View replies by

Sandy - posted on 12/16/2010

5

0

0

Hi,I am a grandmother and I still like my nightlight and I like to have it on so when I wake up groggy from sleep in the night I won't run into stuff like my bedroom door or have to stumble around to find my light switch.

Lisa - posted on 03/01/2010

16

17

0

Melinda I have a step daughter who is now 29 years old, I feel so old :)... When she was 11 it was hard they go through so much just being kids and then to add a step parent doesn't make it any easier. My advise is let her have the little things that make her feel safe as long as they don't cause issues in the home. She will want her dad over you in a lot of situations and that doesn't mean she doesn't like you that is just how it is. Take her shopping, take time to just girl talk and she will come around. But don't give in on everything she will test you and push you to your limits. I had some hard years with my stepdaughter and now I look at her with her three kids and I see her making the same rules in her house that I did in mine. They will respect you more if you stick to your rules :) If you are not going to allow her to do something make sure her dad is in a agreement with you because she will play you guys against each other. To add to it all she is a girl and I will tell you girls are harder than boys... Some days I would wake up and just peek in the bedroom door if she said good morning it was a good day, if she made a grumpy should I just closed the door and stayed out of her way. It will get better just keep loving her .....

Ail - posted on 02/27/2010

47

18

12

I don't think the night light is a fight I'd fight. It's not even an inconvenience, unless she shares a room. As for the tucking, when I don't feel like tucking mine in, I tell them to come kiss ME goodnight for a change. It seems to work, but remember, these days will pass and you will miss the affection and tucking one day, soon. Don't wish it away! Smile, because she still wants your affection.

Yvonne - posted on 02/27/2010

86

16

6

Sorry forgot about the bedtime bit. My question is. Why is an 11 year old still up after her parents go to bed? There's probably a logical answer, just not something experienced in my house.

Yvonne - posted on 02/27/2010

86

16

6

Night light at age 11 not a problem, some kids are still wetting the bed at this age (though not many). I have a 4 kids youngest is 11 and they all expect us to come in and say goodnight to them. (although the eldest (17) is now content to come to us and say goodnight)
Around 11 was definitely the beginning of the "sensitive" years. You need to find out what makes her feel loved. For my daughter it was for the two of us to go out to the shops together, have arvo tea out, perhaps a "girlie " movie together. I also found I would be a different person on these outings, much more relaxed and able to enjoy her. Be careful to let her show you what she likes and whatever you do don't criticise it even if it is hideous to you. I just say something like "that's interesting." "do I like it? Not really my cup of tea. But we're all different or there wouldn't be such a variety for us to look at." And just hope as the bond builds the respect for your views also builds. You will appear to achieve one day and then go ten paces back the next. Also be aware of where she is in her menstral cycle (that is if she has started) she will be "hormonal' even before she begins menstrating. Not uncommon for teenage girls to hate you the week before her period. Very important for girls, especially as they become teenagers to have a dads approval and admiration, then direction and a mum's encouragement and guidance and unconditional love. Their not going to get it anywhere else.
All the best. I feel for you.

Julie - posted on 02/24/2010

506

5

94

melinda i notice this is the second question you have on here. it seems that your relationship with your stepdaughter has not got off to agoo start. she is testing you FACT. but she is still a child. if she wants a night light let her have one theres no harm and it doesnt mean she's a baby. so long as its not a full light that will disturb everyone in the house. if she wants dad to tuck her in then let him sometimes but on other occasions tell her he's a little busy and will you do. you need to spend some time with her just the two of you to build a relationship and try bonding. she's 11 so would love shopping for a new outfit. make a day of it and have some lunch while your out. this will also give you time to talk to her about things and see if she opens up to you. let her know that your trying to takie the place of her mother but she has to respect the rules you and her father set and abide by them. i dont mean be her best friend you have to be a parent figure but coming down hard on her and trying to change things all in one go won't help. little moves patience and love. and a united front between you and your husband while she's around.

Veronica - posted on 02/24/2010

8

7

2

At this age they are in between children and teens and they can sometimes have a hard time giving up things that you may feel she is too old for. At the same time she may want to do things that some teens do. Add to it that her Mom and Dad are not together and she may be reverting backward a little. My advice is to give her some space and she will come around. My daughter will be 12 in a couple weeks and she is getting rid of a lot of her younger things (it is great and sad at the same time). I think that if we push the kids will just push back. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Veronica - posted on 02/24/2010

8

7

2

At this age they are in between children and teens and they can sometimes have a hard time giving up things that you may feel she is too old for. At the same time she may want to do things that some teens do. Add to it that her Mom and Dad are not together and she may be reverting backward a little. My advice is to give her some space and she will come around. My daughter will be 12 in a couple weeks and she is getting rid of a lot of her younger things (it is great and sad at the same time). I think that if we push the kids will just push back. I hope you find what you are looking for.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms