Over aggressive bully that won't stop!

GAYLE - posted on 03/28/2010

Have you phoned the police about the threat that your son received? Why don't you get together with all the mums who say the same thing as you do about her son, then confront the mum together, while the boy and your son are there. I think if she realises that more than one mum feels that her son is out of hand then she may do something about him. If you find that this don't work then get together again and ask the mums to phone the SS and the police. Or when you go the first time warn her that if your son carries on with the bullying then she will get some of the same treatment from you mums. This should be a last resort as that sort of brings you down to their level, which I am sure you are way above. Hope it all gets sorted soon. Good Luck.

Shelley - posted on 03/27/2010

Hopefully they will move I think every block/neghbourhood has one of these u should go to police talking to her sounds like a brick wall if they came & had a talk with her it might open her eyes. I am so happy that the one by us is moving away.

Renee - posted on 03/23/2010

well first we need to know how old the children are...if they are 12 or younger the police won't do you any good, call the school or get ahold of her landlord if she is renting, and if all else fails whoop momma's butt and tell her that everytime her son lay's his hands on your son she is going to get another whooping for not having control over the boy. she will either get control of him or move.

Steffanie - posted on 03/20/2010

I am sorry to hear that. My boys have been fortunate that they are all tall and big. I would go to social services, and the police. IF the kids go to the same school than I would inform the school. Get your child into a self defense class, or some type of martial arts. I hate to say this, but my experience with bullies is it doesn't stop until they get their butt kicked. I taught my kids how to defend themselves with words. This has stopped my oldest boy in many confrontations. This usually will also make them stop if your son makes a fool of him in front of his followers. When I was bullied at school, the admin never cared. The only time they did until I kicked the boy's butt that was harassing me. After that the teasing stopped, and he left me alone. I was lucky that my mom backed me up, and pointed out that I had complained several times to teachers, and admin about this issue, and it was ignored. So, I didn't get into trouble. I have found sometimes administration goes by boys will be boys; and this way of thinking is bs! Have your child tell you what the bully says. Than think of something clever to say. This helped my oldest Jesse when bully kids gave him a hard time. I know this isn't the political correct answer, but it works.Usually bullies have low self esteem, and are not the sharpest tool in the shed. Their taunts are usually the same, because they can't come up with anything better. I know this isn't the most conventional answer but, lets be honest, with all the cutbacks happening to our schools, the administration is already working with a ghost crew, and sometimes it is up to us to help our kids learn to outsmart bullies.

Jenny - posted on 03/20/2010

thank you suzane it is so hard when there seems nothing you can do about it ,my daughter is usually a loving kind girl but she is finding it so hard to deal with she has tried walking away from these girls at school but they just follow her knowing in the end she will say something back to them nd is honest to the teacher about what she has said back but they always lie and seem to get away with it because of that we now have the mother of the children keep coming out of her house and scaring down when my children are playing which is making them nervous i am thinking of going to a solicitor to get them to write a letter telling her to back of as she is also saying things to other chilkdren that my daughter is mean to her girls which is now causing other kids to be mean to her i'm glad your son is happier now it is so hard when your children are upset and you can't protect them

Julie - posted on 03/20/2010

go to the police. your childs safety comes first. be strong.

Monica - posted on 03/20/2010

Is your son strong enough to fight him? HOnestly that is not the answer but at this point, I think that is what the boy needs. Bullies are usually kids that are being abused themselves (usually at home) and want to feel power over someone else just like someone has power over them. they go for the ones that they know they can control and abuse w/out retaliation. I would have your son stand up to him and I would call the cops or child protective services. It seems HE is the one being abused. Just to avoid him hurting someone as he gets older. Best of luck, hope your son doesn't take it to heart what that boy is doing to him, my son was bullied and it brought him down so bad I had to pull him out of school for a while.

Tarysha - posted on 03/19/2010

File a police report. Let them handle it and suggest it to the other parents. The kids obviously isn't going to learn at home.

Tammy - posted on 03/19/2010

They dont have to know that you called child services, you dont give your name. The first thing they do is look in there house and make sure food is in the house, and take it from there. It takes three calls for anything to come of family services. Document every little thing on a daily calender for 1 month and then call the cops and then social services.

Susanne - posted on 03/19/2010

Jenny ive been where you are now with my son. He put up with 4 years of bullying while we tried to get the school and his parents to stop this boy making my sons life hell. The school only cared when my son started turning into the bully. He became aggressive, moody and horrible to live with. The school wanted my son to have anger management and were talking about expelling him. They made out my son was the problem not the boy who had bulied him for 4 years. I took my son out of that school before they made him worse, hes been in his new school for nearly 6 months and hes a different boy in school now. He hasnt been in any fights his work has improved and best of all he has friends and wants to go to school. We still have problems with anger at home but he is calming down a lot now. I know how you feel and if you want to chat mail me.

Samantha - posted on 03/18/2010

Thanks for the encouragement to go to the police, I have told her that was the next step and now my next door neighbors girls are getting involved. They are no better than the dysfunctional boy. Gosh it really sucks to be next door to the man that is dating the mother of this boy. Her son and his daughters, both of which are tyrants with no conscious awareness of their own behavior. The way these three kids back up each others lies are hard for us to defend ourselves against. The mess just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
Pray for us to find the "Christian" way out of this mess.
One more incident and I will go to the police immediately press charges and file restraining order. I was also thinking of getting Office of Child Services involve, but am not sure if I should go that far??

Jenny - posted on 03/18/2010

i have a simerlier problem with two twin girls who keep being mean to my daughter in and out of school ,i also have confronted the mother as well as many others before me she never believesw what you say about her girls the problem now is my daughter is retalating back and sometimes going out of her way to be mean her self i have spoken to her about her behavour but she seems to think that it ok as they are doing it to her and she feels angry and wan'ts them to feel sad to .i have spoken to the school about it and things there have been handled ok but my daughter was honest about what she had done but they lied saying they haven;t done anything which at first my daughter was getting the blame for being honest now things are easier as other children have reported it and the school can see what the others are doing but my daughter feels now as if the school will not do anything as at first they blamed just her i simpifize with you it is so hard knowing the best thing to do best of luck i hope things improve for you

Tammy - posted on 03/18/2010

In my experience nothing stops the bully. I have done the confronting of the mother, called police, told school. The only thing I can say is make sure your boy can woop that boys but, and make sure he doesnt go anywhere alone until things are established. Keep driving the mom crazy, that eventually gets old for her and it will slow things down for awhile. Good Luck

Amy - posted on 03/18/2010

DO they go to the same school? I would notify the school of his behavior as well. Most schools have a no bully policy and will bring the mother in with the child and have talks together with the school councelor and Principal. Also see if your police dept has an officer that deals directly with children. Most depts do and he's the one you want to notify and get involved. You can file a protection order against the kid but if the kid and parents don't understand what its for then you could be dealing with the police alot. I think it would also help if some of the other moms confronted said mom also.

Theresa - posted on 03/18/2010

Call the police, especially when the boy threated to kill your son. The police take death threats, even from kids, very seriously. If his mother does nothing about his behavior it will only get worse. Getting the police involved may be the only thing that saves this kid from a very bad life.

Jenny - posted on 03/18/2010

I would go to the police and get a restraining order against the boy. If that doesn't work then go to a lawyer and have them send a letter to the parents stating that they are representing you in your case against their son. If that doesn't work then the parents don't care what happens to the child and that is sad.

Susanne - posted on 03/18/2010

Go to the police shes never going to do anything so what other options are there?