over eating

Alta - posted on 04/17/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My 11 year old daughter keeps getting into food and hideing it from us. She is on steroids for asthma and I have told her if she is hungry to eat something healthy since she is overweight. She keeps getting into the cookies and fattening foods. She has an older sister who isn't overweight and likes to have sweets around. Any ideas on how I can help her curve her hunger or at least not hide it from us and eat healthier choices.

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Charlene - posted on 04/18/2009

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Just because the older sister isnt overweight doesn't mean it's ok to be around. Skinnier doesnt mean healthier. I agree if you stock the house differently you may be surprised. You really have to watch any packaged cookies and treats. I try to bake at least once a week. Some of our favorites: banana oatmeal muffins (for an extra treat I sometimes add chocolate chips) apple cheese muffins, zucchini or banana bread. This way when my son wants a snack it is still a treat but a healthier choice and I know whats in it. WE don;t usually have desserts but if we do I to make fruit crisps. My son loves low fat yogurt plain or vanilla mixed with canned peaches(in juice not syrup) with a drizzle of honey or maple syrup to sweeten.

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Sarah - posted on 01/27/2013

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Well, there is always the option of buying the sweets, locking them up somewhere and doling them out in appropriate amounts... Or, you could label them with everyone's name, like if the box has 8 of a certain item, and each of us get 2, then my two would say MOM, hubby's two would say DAD, the others would say kid 1 and kid 2 or what not. Then, everyone knows exactly how many that are there belong to whom. If you have a problem with her storing her 2 items in her room, then make a rule about food in the room and let the consequences be about that.

If your daughter is hoarding sweets, or anything really, it might be a good time to get her into some counseling to help her understand why she feels like she needs to do that. Has something she really enjoyed and felt ownership over disappeared from her life without explanation or reasoning that she can understand? Is there something going on that you can't see that this behavior is a symptom of? It's almost more important to know why she is doing this than to know what she is doing... There is a reason why she is behaving this way, and if you can't get her to tell you what it is, then have a professional help you get to the bottom of it.

I definitely agree with Charlene that it could grow into a very sensitive thing for a young lady/woman, I think it would be much better to get to the bottom of it before it grows into a full grown issue like hoarding or a serious eating disorder... Plus, if you are able to talk about it calmly and rationally (trying not to be shocked by anything she says in front of her), she might learn that you are a safe person to talk to about these things, which will also be really good in the future as the things she faces when she is older will be just as stressful, if not more so.

Quickly, about me... I am the grown up teen mom of a 17 year old daughter. I have always been overweight, and married to a man who was overweight. I pinpointed a lot of behaviors my parents condoned or allowed that helped me to become so overweight, and corrected many of them in the parenting of my daughter. While my daughter grew up in a healthy weight bracket, she still grew up in a house with at least 2 (sometimes 3 or 4) dieting adults her entire life. When she was 15 or so, I noticed she started losing weight. She started saying things like "my clothes are too big, I need you to buy me smaller clothes". I resisted, knowing that the size 3 and 5 clothes she had were an appropriate size for her to be. When she got down to the border line between a healthy weight and an unhealthy one, I took her to a therapist, because I didn't want to see her become emaciated. (She had been 5'6" and 130 pounds. She was 5'6" and 117 pounds.) She was just getting way too small. Therapy saved her from a life of anorexia and misery! And, it saved our relationship too!!

So, please don't be afraid of taking your child to a therapist because it can really help, I promise!! :D

Alta - posted on 04/19/2009

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Thanks for the advice. I will think on it and try to do something to help my little girl. I at least already know it isn't a thyroid problem as she has had that tested. Her DR. says she should go through a growth spurt in the next year and that will help with her weight. I do not have either of my kids on diets. They are both allowed sweets. They get 2 snacks a day. I just only allow certain amounts of sweets for these snacks for both girls. The problem is she is taking extra stuff and hideing it.

Charlene - posted on 04/18/2009

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Quoting Alta:

I feel as though I am punishing my oldest daughter if I don't allow her to have this stuff as she likes it too and is not an overeater. I don't see why she should have to give up this stuff just because her sister can't control herself



But you see by letting your older daughter have things the younger feels the need to hide things and eat them when she can.  Not a good situation.  I went through this as a child.  I had an undiagnosed Thyroid condition that caused me to stop growing and gain ALOT of weight over  a 1 year period, my parents thought I was overeating and gorging on candy on the walk home from school so my Mother had me on a strict diet while my aunt & uncle (close to me in age ) ate whatever.  Well I still continued to gain weight and because I wasnt allowed dessert with the rest of the family and I wasnt allowed popcorn during movies I did the same as your daughter.  Whatever I could get I would hide it under my bed and eat it during the night.  Boy did my parents feel bad when I was finally diagnosed and it turned out my metabolism was pretty much nil and most of the weight wasnt my fault.  With pre teens you have to watch for eating disorders.



With her being on steriods won't help either.  My suggestion is a healthy revamp for everyone but do include occasional treats or desserts for everyone.  Sorry to rant but it brought up alot of old memories for me.

Alta - posted on 04/18/2009

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I feel as though I am punishing my oldest daughter if I don't allow her to have this stuff as she likes it too and is not an overeater. I don't see why she should have to give up this stuff just because her sister can't control herself

Arelis - posted on 04/17/2009

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Sorry but your kids don't buy the food, you do. Don't get me wrong. My son is not really overweight but has cholesterol problems. We've have to change our whole way of eating. I understand your problem but again you are the one buying the food. We have to make sacrifices for your kids and groceries are one of them. Also, now we go on walks daily with him and my husband (who loved to just sit around) goes out into the yard and plays football with him and baseball. We need to help our kids and it takes changes. So next time you go grocery shopping put the sugary and fatty things down and grab the good stuff.

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