Parents of girls...Private stuff...masturbation

Sachi - posted on 06/19/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have 3 girls. 9, almost 11 and 13. We are very open about our body parts. I am single, live with my mother so we are all women in the house. I teach them modesty. After showers cover up, etc. But...even us adults sometimes come out of the shower, put lotion on, quickly walk to our bedrooms. We aren't a shy household, lets just say. So my question is about masturbation. I've never thought about it until today when I was reading a few posts about it. Lots of parents of boys answer but I am very curious about girls, obviously. My girls haven't asked any questions about that, but I've had the sex talk with them, about how their bodies are changing, how babies are made...I just never thought about having the masturbation conversation. How do I even start?? I am not a prude by any means. I just want to approach it in a way that they understand its OK, nothing to be ashamed of. When I was young I was caught in the act with a pillow. My mom was upset and didn't know how to react. But the reason I was even curious about it was because a best friend of mine told me she did it. I don't even remember how that conversation came up in the first place, lol! My girls all sleep in the same room. I don't have any feeling that they have this on their minds at all but want to be prepared. My oldest, 13, has asked me questions about her body, sex, the opposite sex. Some of her friends are already dating so she hears things from them. She is still very innocent but she is aware. Thanks for any advice!!

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4 Comments

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Ivanna - posted on 03/10/2013

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I would let them bring it up. Otherwise, I wouldn't sweat it.

Laura - posted on 06/19/2012

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I agree with Louise Gough that I would discuss the topic if my daughter brings it up first. I was forced to explain what a clitoris and an orgasm is to my 12-year-old yesterday because they have begun the growth and development unit in health. The teacher instructed them to cross out the paragraph on the clitoris and orgasm and write "not relevant" beside it! If it's not relevant why not cut it out entirely? Anyway, perhaps it was meant to be and at least my daughter is hearing the explanation from me and not finding out in some unhealthy way.

Sachi - posted on 06/19/2012

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That makes sense. I have a just for girls book for them to look at when they feel the need to. Its called What's Happening to My Body. I don't feel comfortable just bringing the topic up so I guess I should go with what I feel. I didn't have any issues with talking about the birds and the bees (age appropriate of course), body parts, periods, etc...but this whole thing with masturbation stumped me. Yes, kids have a lot thrown at them between us, TV, media and their friends its a lot! I might just leave this one out, lol. Let them come to me with questions and I'll deal with them at that time. Thanks.

Louise - posted on 06/19/2012

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I have raised two sons and now a daughter and I never had to have that sort of chat with them. There is nothing to be embarrassed about but I also think there is a limit that the mother daughter chat has to go. I think kids these days have so much thrown at them at an early age, far more than I did or even my sons who are now adults.

My daughter is 3.5 years old and I will have the chat with her about periods, puberty and sex when she is old enough to feel comfortable about the subject and understand. I will not talk to her about masterbation, it just does not feel appropriate. Kids are not as innocent as they used to be and can find things out by a click of a button. If she asks on the other hand I will have a conversation about it, but I will not start the topic!