Please help my 3 yr old

Dottie - posted on 01/19/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )

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Every night my daughter wants to sleep in my husband and I's bed, some nights my husband has to lay next to her in her bed to get her to fall asleep, during the night sometimes she has bad dreams and wakes up in a blood curtling scream/cry either screaming mommy or daddy. My husband usually gets up and opens her door and she comes in our bed and falls asleep until we get up about 11 am-12pm.How or what can we do to get her to sleep in her own bed, she has a nice full size bed and its got Disney Princess on it, don't really know what else to do to help her get to like her bed.

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Joy - posted on 01/19/2010

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My husband and I used to have the same issues with our daughters, and one of my sons. I had to figure out what was stressing them out, and then we would stay in their rooms until they fell asleep, and I would put on some soft music, and night light and leave the door open for them. I also had a night light in the hallway and bathroom. It took a few nights of really standing our ground and letting them know that this was their room and they were safe, and we weren't going to let anything bad happen to them. We also made sure that they knew their bedrooms were safe places, like we didn't use their rooms for timeout, or associate anything negative with being in their rooms. We had a time out chair on the steps, to keep their personal space in their rooms positive.

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[deleted account]

Lava lamp. Not kidding either. Watching it helped my son fall asleep so many times.

I also used 'monster spray'. It was a very strong herbal lavendar scent and to this day my son (now 13 years old) keeps a lavendar oil burner in his room at night.



You can also beat up the monsters in the closet. My son kept insisting that they were waiting in there for him. So finally I got tired of the monsters and sat him in the living room with his godmother who was visiting. I went into his room and made a ruckus of noise as if I were in a fist fight. I came out, dusting my hands and explained that the monsters were all at the monster Emergency room getting treatment.



The monsters NEVER came back - they were way too scared that the Mommy would kick their behinds once more.

[deleted account]

Hi Dottie,
What my mom did for me, and I do for my son (who is 10 now), is comfort the child in the child's bed, not the parent's bed. With my oldest son, I made the mistake of letting him climb in with me, but that seemed to last for years. With my younger one, I always just lie down with him and give him comfort until his breathing is calm and even, then I go back to my own bed. Some kids have more trouble with sleep than others. I am the 13th out of 15 kids, I am probably one of the only ones who had consistant sleep problems. I remember my mom lying next to me when I was 11 after I broke my arm, it was very comforting. Mom always told me to not let my kids sleep in my bed, parents beds are for parents.

I hope this is some help.

Cassidy - posted on 02/13/2010

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I have 3 kids. 11, 16, & 19. We have been down that road. We used a spray bottle of water with glitter in it. It was written on with a black marker saying it was monster spray. We would spray the closet, under the bed, and anywhere else they wanted. You could try that. You might want to discuss with her why she is having these nightmares.

[deleted account]

we had similar problems and it is not fun trying to break the habit lots of crying and screaming on there part but you just stick to the routine every night and she will figure out that even though I scream it doesn't matter I have to do this, you can start by putting her bead in your room to get her used to sleeping in it sometimes that helps and then after a while put her in her room read some stories, after a while say "I will read one than I will leave and you look at a book by yourself " at first you may only be gone for 5 min and than come in and read another little story do this for a while make the time you come back longer and longer and she will get used to it, get her to look forward to bed time, it is long and hard but all kids do it eventually

Jodi - posted on 02/12/2010

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Hi Dottie, I am a horrible mom to answer this because I allow my son who is turning four to sleep with us. I enjoy it! LOL. However that being said, it doesn't always happen. We sometimes make him sleep in his bed and other times it's okay to crawl in with mom and dad.

I feel sometimes kids just want that extra security when things frighten them and they can't figure out their emotions. Our son will have night terrors and wake us ten times a night. We bring him to snuggle and he falls right to sleep and everyone gets sleep. Eventually he will out grow it.

I know ppl say be patient and show kids who is boss and be strong. My son is a sweet boy and he needs the comfort and I won't deny him that. He won't be thirty and still sleeping with us. I wasn't and I used to sleep at the foot of my parents bed until I was six.

One thing we did with our oldest one because my oldest was harder to sleep with was make a bed next to ours on the floor. It worked for a great while until finally he went into his own bed.

Hang in there.

Debbie - posted on 02/11/2010

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I'm telling ya--check out www.fairytalewisheinc.com. They have an all natural aromatherapy sweet dream spray, and monster spray, and super hero spray for courage. They work like a charm. They all have a little fairytale that goes with them and you can even get a personalized letter to your child from their magic frog for free. It really works!!! You make it part of your bedtime ritual. Every kid I know who has used it, can't live without it. It's a savior!!! Helps empower her and you leave it next to her bed so if she wakes up she can just give her pillow a little spray. My son goes nowhere without his sweet dreams spray.

Natalie - posted on 02/11/2010

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maybe she is sleeping in to late 11am is kinda late to get up maybe try a nursery or pre school for a few days a week not only will this help use up all that 3 year old energy but help her be more independent and less needy of mommy and daddy also at 3 they are really quick at realising what buttons to press if she now knows that when she screams in the night daddy will open the door into your room she maybe playin on this try to comfort her in her own room and settle her back down may take a while but will be worth a bit of sleep deprivation in the long run goodluck x

Debbie - posted on 01/22/2010

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Try Monster Repellent or Sweet Dreams spray from Fairytale Wishes, Inc. They make all natural aromatherapy sprays with a bit of magic glitter in them and a little mini fairytale that tells why the spray works. The monster repellent smells like bubblegum and the sweet dreams spray smells like lavender. Works like a charm and is much safer than spraying air freshener.

[deleted account]

My youngest son, Joshua, had this problem. It takes a lot of time and patience, as well as prayer, but my husband and I took turns taking him back to his bed, laying down beside him until he was asleep, then going back to our own. He eventually grew out of it and now, at the age of four, goes to bed all by himself between 7:30 and 8:30 in the evening. Just hang in there. You can do it. Above all else don't let yourself get frustrated or angry with your daughter. She's learning where to sleep and knows you love her. Just be consistent and she'll eventually get it.

Kylie - posted on 01/20/2010

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Honey, my daughter slept by her self happily until 21/2 - 3 years old, then she started to come into our room every night now she is 8 and still does it. Is she an only child? Sometime they want to just be close to someone. My daughter has just started sleeping in her own be much better when I put a 8 watt fluro globe in her side lamp. She said she likes the white light. But she has to go to sleep in our bed first. It is really annoying but she won't be doing it for ever. Good luck. Oh and I really like the monster spray idea, this could be used for a lot of issues.

Janice - posted on 01/19/2010

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About 30, 15, and 5 minutes before bedtime remind her that it's almost bedtime. Reassure her that you and daddy will be closeby in your room. Try leaving her door open and have nightlights setup in her room, the hall and bathroom. Try giving her a princess or fairy wand, or a child's flashlight that will shut off automatically if she isn't using it at bedtime that will keep the bad dreams away. Also since her bed is full-sized, try giving her a large stuffed animal to cuddle and sleep with. Also, if she doesn't spend time in her room in the daytime playing, try spending time with her in her room while its still light out so she will feel more comfortable at night. Let her help you scout out her room before she gets into bed at night. God Bless

Vicki - posted on 01/19/2010

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Has anything recently changed in her life? Pre-school? sibling? friends of sibling coming over? What is she afraid of?



My son was terrified of monsters, so we gave him a monster bat (toy wooden bat) to hit them if they tried to get him...and monster spray ( nice smelling room spray) because monsters don't like nice smells. We also did monster patrol with him before bedtime.



If she has an older sibling they may have told her something scary and it could have freaked her out...

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