Privileges for a 13 year old girl?

Valerie - posted on 03/04/2012 ( 12 moms have responded )

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What are appropriate privileges for a 13 year old girl who gets straight A's in school, usually obeys the rules, and is trustworthy?

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Kim - posted on 03/04/2012

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My daughter just turned 13. She has a cell phone, mostly for our state of mind and to be able to get a hold of her or so she can call while she is walking home from school. She asked last week if she could be dropped off at the mall for a few hours with her friends to hang out and spend her gift cards. I figure if I know her friends and have discussed proper behavior at the mall that I have to start letting go a little so she can prove herself and the more I can trust and believe in her the more I will allow. My daughter is a self starter and does well in school also and I feel she can be trusted. I would rather her make mistakes while we are here to help her through them than after she leaves the nest but I do not believe she will be permitted to date out of a group situation until she is a junior or senior. We shall see as parenting each child is different.

Katie - posted on 05/29/2014

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I am a 13 year old so I may have different views than you on what a 13 year old girl may be privileged with but here is my opinion: there is no reason not to give them a phone if they are responsible enough to have that responsibility. I have a cell phone that i got for my birthday and its not a iphone or anything fancy, but it does its job when the school bus breaks down or I have to check in. Don't give your kids everything they want in life, they have to work for it. If their grades drop take their privileges away. I think that they should be allowed to date if its a responsible girl and a worthy boy, but nothing that serious. Let them have a personal life, and let them go to the movies or the mall once in a while with their friends, if they know not to separate for anything. That's my opinion, so it may be different from others but here it is.

Samantha - posted on 03/27/2012

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my daughter is 11 and asked to go to the movies with her friends once. I laughed so hard. We have discussed with our children that they will not be able to do these things alone. It's not that I don't trust my kids but I don't trust other people. My daughter is also a very immature 11 yr old so that was a factor as well. My thing is you can trust your daughter all you want. She can be valedictorian of her class but you don't know how bad peer pressure can be. So she goes to the mall with her friends they meet some cute older 16 yr olds that offer them a ride to the nearest fast food place for a quick bite to eat. C'mon it's just down the street we'll be back before your parents get here. BAM! she gets in the car, they wreck and she gets hurt. Or they go to the movies. While they are outside hanging out in the promenade one has to go to the restroom and she's left by herself. Some adult asks her the time or if she could go check for his "daughter" over "here". He follows her and BAM! she's in his trunk. I have compromised and said when they are old enough they can hang at the mall. I will be there but out of sight. Movies, we can go to the theater and watch different movies. I'll drop all your friends off at home or you can have a sleepover.

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Lakota - posted on 07/12/2012

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I accept your apology. As a child, you know more about being a child than I do. As a parent, you don't know anything. I didn't post anything about my child for you to make the assumption that they are unhappy or that they misbehave. You know nothing about me or my kids. You are just making things up as you go. I think you have some serious behavior issues if you think that it's ok to respond to an adult the way you have me. This is the last response you will receive from me. Good luck with that attitude.

Izzy - posted on 07/12/2012

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Stella, I apologize for my rude behavior. That's just my personality. And I was simply stating that I am far more intelligent than you, an immature adult, on the subject of children. I was just trying to inform you that you child would be far more happy and possibly behave better if they could have a life.

Lakota - posted on 07/12/2012

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Izzy, your views are going to be different than mine because you are a child. Do you know this is site is called Circle of Moms, right? So, why are you commenting on here and why do you have to be nasty? "Have fun with your child being lonely and bored." Get over yourself.

Izzy - posted on 07/11/2012

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Um yeah. I believe that you should trust your daughter enough to let her have a little fun. I'm not saying she should be free ranged, but a little independence is nice but I'm not a parent, I'm a child. Who is aloud to date. I keep my grades in the As and obey all the rules my parents set. BUT I also have a personal life, which keeps me happy and content. Have fun with your child being lonely and bored. :)

Connie - posted on 07/11/2012

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my little girl is going to be 13 years old and i let her go to the mall somtimes with her 16 year old sister and her friends.

Lakota - posted on 07/11/2012

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Go on dates and kiss?!?! Um....no. I agree with the cell phone, facebook comments. There is a reason she gets A's in school, obeys the rules, and is trustworthy. It's not because you let her do whatever she wants. Keep up the good work.

Izzy - posted on 07/10/2012

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Cell phone, T.v. and laptop are fine unless used WAY too much. I think at thirteen they can go on dates, kiss ,and see movies with friends like alone. Facebook is also fine. So..yeah.

Cayla - posted on 05/13/2012

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Let her get a cell. Go to the movie with friend and even get face book but make sure there restrictions. And if she stop her good behavior take it all away.

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