Responsibility for Actions

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

I have a 10 year boy that will not take responsibility for his own actions. He blames everyone else. I do not want him to grow up to be like that as an adult. Anyone have any ideas?

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Ruth - posted on 04/28/2009

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Hi. I've really grown fond of an approach to parenting called "Love & Logic" by Foster Cline and Jim Fay. They have been around for a long time and have a common sense approach to teaching kids to be responsible. I have not taken their class, but I have read their book on parenting teens and have interviewed Dr. Cline for my Web site. Take a look at these two stories. You may be able to find their books at your library. As our kids get older, we need to do our homework. Here are the links:

http://suchasmartmom.com/2009/04/13/want...

http://suchasmartmom.com/2009/02/25/heli...

Charlene - posted on 04/28/2009

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My ten year old son is the same too. I have always given a second chance because my mother never did, but now I feel caught between not acting like my Mother or being a door mat. Trying to find middle ground.

Judy - posted on 04/28/2009

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you have to be adamant, cause and effect. Whenever he does something bad at home he needs to lose a privelege at home. If he does something good, he gets a reward. That will teach him cause and effect. Make sure he ALWAYS takes responsibility. Make him say sorry or thank you always.I have the same problem with my 12 yr. old daughter. She is relentless. Make sure you explain what and why you are doing this. One day it will just click.

Sandra - posted on 04/28/2009

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My son went through something similar. So, one day he came home and told me that he got a bad grade because of his teacher. I asked him what had happened; his reply was that they did not go over it in class. So, I called the school and asked that the teacher call me. Sure enough, she had given it to the class as homework and he had lost it. Rather than asking someone for a new handout, he tried to take the test without it and failed big time. Both his teacher and I sat down with him and discussed the consequences of blaming others for things they did not do and told him to take responsibility for himself.

My son is now 16, and does not do it nearly as often, but still does it once and a while.

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