short trousers

Meloney - posted on 02/14/2012 ( 13 moms have responded )

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because my 15 year old son has been behaveing badly im makeing him go to school in short pants, his behavier has greatly improved since, am I doing the right thing?

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Shirley - posted on 03/09/2012

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Meloney,



I have a boy of 15 and I did something similar a year ago. The difference was that I allowed him to continue to attend school in long trousers but made him change into short trousers as soon as he arrived home in the afternoon. Since then he has been kept in shorts outside of school including weekends and school holidays. He is very occasionally allowed to wear longs for special events like attending a wedding or an extended family gathering.



I have to say that his behaviour has improved enormously and the main benefit is that he now stays at home in the afternoons and evenings and concentrates on his school work rather than going out with his mates. On Saturday mornings he attends private tuition classes for which he wears his short trousers.



In principle I agree with your treatment although making him attend school in shorts does seem very humiliating. How long has this been going on and how has he reacted to your treatment? Has his behaviour improved?



Shirley

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Jean - posted on 03/08/2013

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melony,
its malcolm are you still holding your ground with your boy,my is now 18 very nearly 19 he is still at school at the moment in 6th form and he is still in short trousers.
I did argue with the school about not allowing to him to wear short trousers.I contacted the school governers and said the school rules stipulated grey trousers so long or short did not matter,so now he has to go to school in shorts.
yes I have read the dissagrements it is humiliation but if these people knew how he behaved.
I can tell people one thing he knows he is a bad boy because as old as he is if he missbehaves he will bend over for his deserved caning,and i dont think that is humiliating either

Edmund - posted on 02/22/2013

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I have some first hand experience of this sort of discipline. I was put back into short trousers half way through my first year at senior school because my parents felt I was not mature enough to wear long trousers. They cited my childish behaviour and negative attitude towards my school work as the main reasons. It was made very clear to me that I would remain in my short trousers until I improved my performance & behaviour. I found this really difficult to accept and it certainly concentrated my mind. I was constantly teased by other boys who had gone into long trousers at about the same time as I had and even by younger boys who were already in longs. Because I hated being dressed like this again I made the effort & improved my school work & behaviour. It took the rest of the school year before my parents allowed me back into long trousres. Although this may seem an unusual form of discipline, & not one I would really endorse it did have the desired effect as far as my parents were concerned.

Malcolm - posted on 07/20/2012

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yes you are clearly doing the right thing.i am in england i have a 17 year old who used to hang about in a baseball cap and hoodie and showing older people and younger people dissrespect
The school wont let me send him to school in short trousers but he is put in them as soon as he gets home.dont take to much bad press i think it would be a good idea to give him a spanking,
I cane my boy another thing that hes showed him up but taught him a lesson tanned legs to show his freinds and yes let them laugh at him.

Izzy - posted on 07/11/2012

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Yeah, but I would seriously just change if I were him...It's just not a fool-proof plan.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/10/2012

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I read everything and its not humiliation IMO. The punishment fits the crime. A kid has to be able to put himself or herself in the shoes of the person they wronged or ridiculed and standard punishment don't really work honestly. Just make sure your punishment has definitely beginning and ending and a lesson learned. As him what he thinks about what he has learned daily. When you are sure he can put himself in the child he bullied's position, the punishment ends...with a heartfelt apology to the other boy.

Izzy - posted on 07/10/2012

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I don't understand what the punishment in that is...It's PANTS. Do you really think he won't just change? I'm sorry but I find it kinda ridiculous.

Angela - posted on 02/28/2012

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Not a good idea at all. OK he bullied another kid who wears short trousers. How old was the other kid - that's an important consideration. And was he bullying the other child BECAUSE he wore short trousers or for some other reason? If it was a kid of his own age, that child's probably going through all kinds of agonies wearing short trousers at 15. So now another kid at his school is wearing short trousers (your son). The first kid's parents see this and say to him "Oh you're making a lot of fuss about nothing, you're not the only kid who wears short trousers at 15!" Not helpful to the victim!



If the other child was a much younger child anyway, then the reason he bullied him wasn't because the victim was wearing short trousers. Short trousers are OK & entirely normal in younger boys - he was evidently bullying him over something else. But why humiliate him? Find some other way to punish/discipline him. With teenagers, depriving him of things he values (mobile phone, freetime with friends, iPod, laptop etc ...) will have more clout.



Lastly - do you know what a street-smart 15 year old does when parents say they'll make him wear short trousers to school?



Easiest option is to smuggle a long pair of trousers out of the house & get changed on the way to school.



Even better - make it profitable. Phone around his friends and say "I'm going to wear short trousers for school tomorrow - bet you think I daren't! Friends gasp in amazement and don't believe him. Each friend agrees to give him 50 cents for everyday he turns up in short trousers or a full $5 if he attends a full week in short trousers. A very profitable "punishment".



You really need to rethink this one - so does your son. I can't believe that he's not worked out a way to make it lucrative and advantageous for himself!

Sumi12 - posted on 02/24/2012

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I think you should suggest him in better way instead of humiliating him .This will be far better than humiliating him .

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Rina - posted on 02/22/2012

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I have just read your explanation why you punished him in this way. Never punish in a negative way - bullying him because he bullied somebody else. Rather let him experience the glow of knowing that he cared for the weak and the vulnerable. Do some charity work with him or volunteer to help at an animal shelter. It might help to make him feel strong, good, benevolent and that is what we want to cultivate in our children. Children who bully usually suffer from low self esteem and feeling unloved or battling to find their own space where they are accepted and respected for who they are. In short everybody wants recognition without having to change who you are in order to get it.

Rina - posted on 02/22/2012

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He will hate you for humiliating him. Also a child of 15 should not be forced to yield to a parent. In their teens they should more-n-more be allowed to decide for themselves, AND be allowed to make their own mistakes in the process! Taking decisions also entails bearing the consequences of the dicision. It takes time for them to realize that good decisions has good consequences and vice versa. Although a loving parent will also support his child through bad consequences, As far as the bad behaviour is concerned rather try rewarding good behaviour.

Any parent can discipline a child, wether young or older, by his AUTHORITY only as long as they understand that you love them - and always will, no matter what and that you wield the authority because you have the child's best interest - not your own - at heart. Hoping that everything is alrigh by now.

Meloney - posted on 02/19/2012

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i have put him back in shorts because he was bullying a boy who wears them, now he will be treated as an 8 year old both at school and at home.

Pam - posted on 02/19/2012

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was his bad behavior related to what he was wearing? or are you just trying to humiliate him?

As best you can, the punishment needs to fit the crime.

Since you don't tell us what his bad behavior is, it's difficult to help.

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