Donna - posted on 12/12/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )
We moved 1,500 miles away from her father 6 years ago, and his contact has been almost nothing. Months will go by and out of the blue he will call when she is either in school or in bed. No gifts, phone calls, cards for holidays or birthdays in 6 years. Last summer she started asking more questions and got quite upset after she spoke with him. I have to add my husband has been her dad and she has called him daddy for over 5 years and she has a little brother too.
She wants to send her father a homemade Christmas card, and her reasoning is that she wants to see if he sends her anything. She also mentioned sending him a gift. Should I let her?
I am very torn about what to do. When she talks to him (rarely) she is very confused, worrys about her (step) dad or myself being angry with her, worried about her father (whom she calls by his real name) being mad at her, and is very confused.She also wants to add the family last name to her name so she can feel a part of the family and her father has told her no, which farther confuses her since he doesn't seem to show any caring. Because his contact is so limited, when she does hear from him it really upsets her. Should I stop all contact?(I have to add that he is in his early 30's, can't hold down a job, still lives with mom, and life revolves around partying, playing video's games, and "hanging" out).
Thanks for any feedback.