shy 14 year old boy

Laura - posted on 07/19/2012

Hi Sandy,
The more I am thinking about it I am wondering if we as parents today are too focused on our kids. Is that making them anxious?
Middle school is terrible especially for girls. My son is not fazed by it. For girls it is awful.
My daughter found a small group and she was as happy there.

Sandy - posted on 07/19/2012

My daughter is 13 and she was always outgoing until middle school. She's content to have her 4 friends over here and there but hasn't really made the effort to meet any new friends because of this new shyness. Maybe it's hormones! She seems happy otherwise, so maybe it's just the age of our children, those awkward years 13 and 14! Hopefully it will pass.

Laura - posted on 07/15/2012

Hi Kathy,
I am going through some social issues with my daughter who is 15. I guess we need to figure out why the low self esteem. It seems like your son should have high self esteem from being in sports. Have you ever talked to him about this? Maybe he is to tired to socialize because of all his sports?
I am working with my daughter her group of friends is very small. Two. She is spending the summer in summer school in the morning and then at home cooking. I feel she is not having any fun.
It is hard when you see them struggle. I hope it gets better for you.

Julie - posted on 10/18/2010

kids dont really socailize outside of school as much as you think nowdays...
they face book and chat on line at home. maybe hit a movie or so with kids but as far as running the mall like we did when we were teen agers every friday night... teens just don't hang out as much as we did...

Maria - posted on 10/15/2010

omg!!! i just posted the same issues with my 12 year old daughter.....she's very social in school but when it comes to her making friends and going outside on her own...she just won't...she's too shy..

Laura - posted on 10/15/2010

Your son may just be an "introvert" (someone who enjoys being by themselves rather than in a social setting). He socializes in school and on his various teams and this may be all of the socializing he wants or needs. He is right in the middle of puberty, too, that lovely stage of growing up that can torment parents as much as the kids. You can encourage more after school socializing, but I wouldn't push it. Offer to host a pizza party (or some activity) after a sports event and see what happens. Let him kow that those social options are available and then just let him be who he is comfortable being. His behavior most likely will change with a bit more maturing. Then you'll be wondering why he's not home more often! : )

Kelly - posted on 10/14/2010

It'll probably be something he will grow out of. Don't have that issue with my boys but, from the sounds of it, probably sooner than you'd like (time goes by so fast), your son will have to be more attention (from the girls) than either he or you will know what to do with! ;)

Stay strong mom!

Susanne - posted on 10/13/2010

My almost 12 year old is the same he has lots of friends at school but no inclination to socialise after school. I just think he'll grow out of it as he gets older.

Gwendolyn - posted on 10/12/2010

My son will be 18 in a week... But I still remember the tough stage he went through around 13/14. A lot was just getting older & more confident in himself, it is a really hard stage. As long as in school he is doing well & has friends, you can always discretly ask the teachers & coach. Ask him if he want to do a pre/post-game BBQ for his team or somthing like that to encourage him - but ask & give him the opption to say yes or no. You may be surprised that a week latter he asks about doing it... (after all it has to be their idea! LOL)
FYI - My son since then has been in every play at school (from somone who wouldn't even say Hi - to acting), and is now joining the Army. He has turned into a very confindant great young man.
Just keep an eye on him & be there for him. Nudge do not push and I am sure he will be fine.