Sick 12-year old but parents don't know if she should stay home or go to school.

Lisa - posted on 01/29/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My daughter has a bad cold that she came down with last week. She came home early from school last week (Monday) because she wasn't feeling good and I figured she was getting a cold. I made her go to school Tuesday and Wednesday. They had Thursday and Friday off and she went to a church youth winter camp from Thursday night to Sunday. She came home hungry and tired and still with the cold but had lots of fun. She wasn't complaining about being sick. This past Monday and Tuesday she started complaining about the cold. I let her skip after school extra-curriculars let her stay home Wednesday. After coughing a lot during the night, this morning she is crying she feels really bad and doesn't want to go to school. I check her temperature and its normal. I check her throat, it looks a little red but not bad. She is not acting like she is having trouble breathing. I am going to college and have classes today from 1:00 to 8:00. My husband works from 6:30 in the morning and doesn't leave until 5:30 even though his work hours are only supposed to be 8:00 to 5:00 (he's a work-a-holic). I tell my daughter that she isn't seriously ill and she can't afford to miss anymore school (she falls way behind and her grades drop dramatically whenever she is sick and stays home from school). I really can't afford to not go to my classes and fall behind either. My husband can't (won't) leave work. I told her she can't be left home sick for 5 or 6 hours by herself and she would have to tough it out and go to school and then to swim practice after school, so that she is supervised until her daddy can pick her up from school. I have to tell her sternly because she is one of those kids that doesn't know when to quit. I know she isn't feeling great. Colds do make you feel bad but I feel guilty about making her go to school, especially since she is so dramatic about not feeling good. At the same time, I want her to learn that you don't stay home and watch TV for several days, get behind in school, and make others have to stay home from their responsibilities unless you absolutely need to. Am I doing the right thing?

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Mother Of Two - posted on 02/03/2014

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she sounds like she is pretty sick let the girl stay home and have at least one hour of sleep and if she starts to feel or look better than take her to school and if she has to stay home all day then call the school and ask them for her homework and then when she is ready have her do her homework, you have to let her know that she is not staying home to have fun but to get some rest. (hope I helped at all)

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H - posted on 02/20/2014

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There's three reasons why it would be worth keeping the child home from school: 1. They're sick enough that they won't be able to focus (i.e. bad headaches, feelings of nausea, et cetera, especially in combination of exhaustion). 2. Sick enough that they would be embarrassed or disruptive in school (i.e. actually throwing up, coughing heavily for reasons other than asthma, seasonal allergies, or chronic bronchitis, especially if they're coughing up phlegm, et cetera). 3. It's something that could reasonably send someone to the emergency room, especially if it's contagious, (i.e. the flu, bacterial infections, lyme's disease, et cetera).

Lisa - posted on 01/30/2009

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Hey thanks for the replies.  I have made the rule in the past that you stay home sick only if you have a fever, are vomiting, or we feel there is a need to see the doctor.  I end up giving in.  My husband isn't around the kids as much as I am and tends to be the one who spoils the kids by giving them junk food, buying them video games (we have a ps2 with 53 games, a ps3 with 16 games, and a wii with 13 games), etc. and I am the one making sure they brush their teeth, eat their fruits and vegetables, make them read or read to them, and clean their rooms.  I am the one who is the bad guy so I want to be nice when they are sick. 



Turns out she is fine, she is feeling much better this morning.  If all of you knew what I go through with that child.  She is one that never stops trying to get out of her responsibilities.  Her 5th grade teacher called her a "minimalist".  She is smart, beautiful, and can charm a stranger instantly with her smile and outgoing personality but she wants to put in the least amount of effort and have everyone tell her how great she is.  That is the reason why she doesn't like to go to school.  She started middle school and she has to actually work to get good grades and its not fun for her.  She rather stay home and watch TV or play on the computer all day. 



As far as the guilt thing goes for me...I need to work on that.  Thanks!

Laura - posted on 01/29/2009

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The rule in our house is if you aren't running a fever or throwing up  you go to school.  Furthermore if you are sick and get to stay home and miraculously get better you don't get to go out and play, have friends over, or go to friends houses because if you were too sick to go to school those are not options for a sick kid.



 



If I let the kids stay home every time they had a cold they'd never be at school in the winter.  Life goes on with or without them so the need to learn to cope.  Yes lenience is needed with homework, but it still needs to be done.

Charlie - posted on 01/29/2009

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When I suspect my children aren't sick enough to stay home from school I sure don't let them watch TV - but then again I don't let them watch TV when their sick at all - there is no need. If your sick you need rest, lots to drink and lots of sleep. But there is obviously more to the playing sick thing - what is she staying away from. If she isn't sick, there is a reason she is not well (conveniently). I have four children went through it with all of them at different ages - there is always a reason for them being a little more sick than the coff that they genuinely have. Good luck, and there is nothing to feel guilty about, you are definately doing the right thing. You'll know the day you make a mistake - or she is truly too sick to be at school - she will throw up at school and you'll get a phone call - that's the day to stay home. No guilt there are plenty of years for that. Take care.

April - posted on 01/29/2009

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Would there be any other reason she doesn't want to go to school? she doesn't sound too sick, no fever, no white spots in throat, no difficulty breathing, no vomiting...... just a thought. Good luck

Amber - posted on 01/29/2009

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I would take her to the doctor. They could give her some meds or just check her out and she will feel better about it.  Then you could also have an excuse for your classes and hers.

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