Teen Pregnancy

Becky - posted on 12/17/2009

wow..........My daughter is seventeen and I really don't know what I would say or do for that matter. I guess the most important thing to remember is that she trusted you enough to tell you so don't make her regret it. Try and stay calm and look at the possitives...she might not be.....if she is make her make the desisions that need to be made don't make them for her. If she isn't then please make sure to get her on a type of birth control....I put mine on the depo shot(her choice) so she wouldn't "forget" to take it everyday.( it is one shot every three months) Make it very clear that if she is pregnant that it isn't a get out of school free card. Let her know that she still has to go to school because she will need that education more than ever to take care of the baby.

Crystal - posted on 12/16/2009

DO you best to get through it and be suportive! Email if you need to talk...

Carla - posted on 12/15/2009

First things first-she's your daughter. Second-ask her how she feels about the situation. Then I would educate her on all of her choices open to her. Because no matter what, (it sucks) but, ultimately-it's her body and her choice. Even if you don't agree with the choice she finally makes, support her in it. Because this will be one of the hardest choices she will make, and if she know's her mother is their- she is more apt to learn from this and not repeat it. Again, even if you think her choice is wrong and or you don't agree with it-be their and then take time (with someone else) and scream yell and vent.

Hope this helps in some way. If nothing else, you know she is sexually active and need BC asap! :)

Good Luck!!

Shana - posted on 12/15/2009

Thanks Brita she is 15 and is still in High School. I was a teen mom at 15 so I know how hard it was to juggle school and a baby .

Brita - posted on 12/15/2009

Hi Shana,



I was reading the above posts and they all seem so angry except Mandy's. I'm not sure how old your teen is but I was 19 and still in High School when I had my son. At 19 even with my familys support it was difficult to raise my child. I quit school and went to work full time.



I could sit here and tell you all about my tough times but I've made it through. My son is now 11, his father and I are married. We own a home and it has worked out for us. Not that it would for everyone but I wanted you to hear a positive note in this difficult time.



Make sure she knows even if you help her, it's not going to be easy. Nothing will ever be the same. If this a just a scare, i would make sure she gets on the pill and uses protection.



I hope that it all works out. Even though I don't know you or your daughter, you will be in my thoughts.

Mandy - posted on 12/15/2009

I think the first issue you have to deal with here is the one that you have a daughter who is having sex and obviously not taking any precautions. If she is not pregnant what do you want to do? Most kids when they begin to have sex are not prepared to stop. So you have to make sure she is safe. She has to understand that her health is in her hands. Put her on the pill and supply her with condoms. If she is having sex because of pressure from her boyfriend (all too common) then try to build up her self esteem and let her realise that she can say no!
If she is pregnant you need to sit down together and look at all the options. Keeping it, adoption or abortion. Different options also depend on how old she is. Is the boyfriend around and willing to be supportive? Can she stay in school with support? How much can you do? The most important thing is that you reach any decision calmly and lovingly together.

Melissa - posted on 12/15/2009

Well I would be disapointed in her lack of control and irresponsibility. And the first thing out of my mouth would be " you have some difficult choices ahead of you, and abortion is NOT one of them." My children have all been taught that if they are going to do adult acts, and produce adult responsibilities then THEY will own up to them. I would make my daughter or son get a part time job after school, so they can support their child if they chose to keep their child and not opt for adoption. I would assit them in babysitting only while they were in school. But for them to work they would have to hire a sitter, because well thats what most adults have to do.Here's what I wont do..I wont be a grandparent that raises my grandkids...( unless absolutely nessesary). Heres what I will do: I will still love my child unconditionally, I will be by their side to hold their hand and give them emotional support. I would love my grandchild unconditionally as well. Just as we all make our own beds and have to lie in them, so will my child.

ASHLEY - posted on 12/15/2009

If she is old enough to get pregnant than she is old enough to go thru with pregnancy not that I would want to take care of the baby but she would either figure out how she could or let the baby be adopted. I personally don't believe in abortion but have experienced difficulty getting pregnant and understand that there are families out there desperately wanting a baby. I have a relative who got pregnant and had an abortion... six months later she was pregnant again! She decided to keep the second baby. The abortion of the first one obviously hadn't made her think twice about being more careful very sad. If she chose to keep the baby herself I agree there would be no babysitting from me she would have to stick it out and learn to stay at home with her child I would only babysit if she was going to school.

Jennifer - posted on 12/15/2009

I would make sure that she knew she wasn't having grandma as a babysitter so she can run around and get pregnant again. She thought she was grown enough to lay down and get pregnant so she better be grown enough to get out there and get a job. Too many teens have babies and the grandparents end up taking care of it. These girls don't get to really experience how it is to be a mom and think it's no big deal. Before you know it they are out there having more kids and running around w/o responsibilities. I have 3 girls and they have all known from an early age that if they ever became pregnant that I am not going to be there to take care of their responsibility. I wouldn't kick them out on the street, but I wont be the one buying diapers or babysitting so she can go out with her friends all the time. If she wants to have a baby then she is going to take care of it. I would help of course and give my opinion and love the baby, but my daughter will definitely know what it's like to be a full time mother and go to school. That's another thing, she will stay in school no matter what.