Teenager 15 years old

Dawn - posted on 03/01/2010

My Son was also very foul mouthed to me! even more so when a very close bereavement hit us! He blamed me and put me up the wall. I put up with this for a while thinking that because of what he had been through he had a reason to be angry! I tried to get him to go to Counselling but he refused. I went to Counselling to try to help me to understand why I was so scared of him, After a while I realised that my belief that because of what had happened to him and because I was his mother I had to put up with it, In fact I didn't, it was only when I realised that I was not to blame I started to stand up for myself, the same with any bully he realised that he wasn't going to get away with it he did reduce gradually! I am sure he doesn't hate you but you are the only one he can abuse and get away with it. It is not easy dealing with this and nothing is going to change over night! He does need to take responsibility for his own actions.
When I asked if he wanted to go to counselling it was only because if he doesn't really want to go then he may not be getting anything out of it and it could feed into his anger at being made to go somewhere he doesn't want to go? I hope that makes sense?

Aimee - posted on 02/28/2010

I don't think its any thing you did or what he has been though.so don't blame this on u or any thing else that went wrong.my son is a ugly little boy as well.with the mouth,its makes u just want to cry.but i don't blame myself any more.or what he has been though.its there age,thats something kids his age act like for some reason.it will change some day.but it is not us.so don't worry.there just mean.they get over it soon or later.

Kerri - posted on 02/28/2010

Actually he already goes to counseling, he does have alot of things to be upset about he has had a hard life, I guess alot of it started when he started middle school, but i removed him from that enviroment and started sending him to private school, but here lately hes been so angry at me calling me names, BAD Names, he makes me cry all the time and he dont seem to care, I really dont know how to help him or makes things better, He just hates me so much........

Dawn - posted on 02/26/2010

I have two boys now aged 20 and 22, they are both very different, I had no problems with the older one but the younger one became very angry when he went to secondary school. He tested every boundary and played on everyone's feeling's I bought him a punch bag so that he could take his anger out on that, but i was also close at hand when he finished so that he could talk if he wanted to. Does he want to go to counselling?

Gina - posted on 02/25/2010

Boys and girls at his age go through the same attitude, their bodies are growing up but their minds are still trying to adjust. I remember when my 3 daughters were 15 I thought I would go crazy. They thought they knew it all and I was stupid. The older 2 lied and sneeked around and got caught, grounded you name it. The younger one was a lot more grounded but I still struggled with her. She was very close to her dad and he traveled alot so it left me dealing with her alone. She didn't talk about things that bothered her she kept it in. She was very involved with sports, playing softball, basketball, soccer,and flag football. Had it not been for that and her staying busy all the time and her mind on sports I would have had more trouble. Let him know you are there for him and you love him and set aside time for you and him. A good older friend told me one time to keep my daughter busy in sports etc. so she won't have time to get into trouble.

TERRI - posted on 02/25/2010

Hi Kerri (our names are similar)

I don't hv a 15 yr old (yet) he's 12 next month, but my friend that i work with does, in fact we were only speaking about the very same thing as you are asking last night at work, she admitted (much to her mortification) that she just doesn;t like her son at the moment because he seems to hv changed so much recently, from the way he speaks to her, the way he treats her, his laziness, attitude ect ect,she is beside herself and very upset, also he's now bigger than her so she can't physically make him go to his room ,or like last night she took his laptop off him, he just took it back!!! their age is pretty much against them at the mo, plus i think their 'finding themselves to' i realise all this doesn't really help you but i think iit helps to know that we seem to go thro it, i think we just hv to let them know we're there for them thro what ever and wait for them to come out the other side. Really hope it improves for you, take care Terri xxx

Tracey - posted on 02/23/2010

it is hard being a single mother, specaile with teenage boys; seem to think they can tell you what to do maybe cause there aint a man roll figure around they fill they can take the place! but you are doing right by him eaven though he dont seem to acnolige this,, any problems could he be haveing at school maybe its teenage boy going through the emotions off change in his life;:) Ive gone from being a mother with 2 sons leaveing an asshole off a so called father, to being on my owen with 2 boys who never see eye to eye; then being married to a man who has 2 daughters now 24 & 21 never see the 24 year old left her father me, my 2 sons & her sister when we was made homless; after running a pub. went back to her mums never looked back on us, we tryed she just dont wanna know! if you wanna chat just look me up;

Julie - posted on 02/23/2010

i put a bit on here before for you but thought that maybe if we got the opinion of someone who has actualy lived it rather the mothers poiint of view so i asked my son. he is now 21 and said that so long as he isnt doing you or himself or others any harm then leave him to sulk. if he wants to talk to you he will but dont push it. he remembers our table sessions and thought they were a good idea but there were some things he never discussed because in his words 'i love ya mum but it was nobodies business but mine' he will work out his issues and won't be angry forever. maybe he is bugged out with something or someone at school or somewhere else. so long as he is not being bullied and is not in trouble just leave him. let him know you love him and are there if he needs to talk and that you will try to help in any way you can but just leave him to sulk its his way of working out his issues and making himself feel better. dont take it personaly he also reminded me that mums worry too much and thats why i have grey hair

Julie - posted on 02/23/2010

one thing i have always done and it never started intentionaly it just evolved as the years passed. when we all come in at the end of the day we sit around the kitchen table and thrash out the days events. my son was angry and annoyed and wanted to punch anything and everything that was in front of him. his bedroon wall bares the scars. we would all sit and talk about the days events and try to help each other with advise or just sympathy support or a shoulder to cry on or shout at. teenagers are individuals no two are alike. my daughter was fine as a teenager just a bit sulky my son was the angriest young man you could wish to meet. by letting him hear that we all have bad days now and again it helped him realise that things arent always rosie but that you can get through it especialy when mother is there to listen. he learnt to open up and share his problems and not bottle them up untill they ate away at him. teenagers are also easily embaressed so just pick your words carefuly when responding to anything. and always make sure that he knows that you love him regardless of what mood he is in at the moment. and like niki rico says. spend time together. my son loves playing cards and we play board games. the wii games console is the best family system. the bowling and tennis brought me closer to my kids and sorted out my waste line at the same time.

Nikki - posted on 02/22/2010

I do have a 15 year old who is going through the same attitude. My first suggestion is look for another counselor. If your going and you are not seeing any help with this, it may not be the counselor for you two.
Next, become more involved. Because you are a single mom, do more things together. Get out of the house. When you are out and having a good time, he is more apt to talk to you. Unfortunately being a 15 year old boy is very stressful and from what I am understanding...difficult. Talk to his teacher and see if they are seeing any of the same attitude. Good luck.

Nicole - posted on 02/22/2010

hmm! I don't have a son but I do have brothers and I remember that they struggled a lot... Hmm I think that if you can try to dedicate time for him find out what he is into and maybe try to do it with him, but if he is the type that doesn't want to do that see if he may be interested in maybe the big brother program, because there is no father figure in the home he maybe lacking that outlet. See if that is something he maybe interested in if you look in your yellow pages/online you may be able to find something. I'm not sure if this will help but it's a start, see if you can develop a relationship where he is comfortable to truly open up... Easier said than done but you never know.