trouble in school

Laura - posted on 10/30/2010

Kathryn makes some excellent points--namely that the adjustment will take time. There are pros and cons to both homeschooling and public school; I considered homeschooling my daughter early on. I talked to her teachers before she started school and realized that these folks are specially trained in educating kids...I was not! I had specific reasons for considering homeschooling and decided to work with the school instead. Your daughter has gone from being the only person being taught to a room full of students--that's a HUGE change! Patience is going to be a very important parenting tool to use in this situation--more than two weeks worth, I'm afraid. And communication, both with your daughter and the school, will be important too.

A study done by Purdue University (www1.psych.purdue.edu) showed that children new to a school can take as long as a full school year to fully adjust, not weeks! The study used data from the students themselves as well as special teacher evaluations to reach this conclusion. The study's recommendation in its conclusion suggests "extra help" for new students that lasts for their entire first year. This extra help, tutoring for example, could be very helpful for your daughter as she works to catch up with her classmates. You can check with the school to see what resources they have available to you. Many schools have volunteer mentors and tutors that work with the kids on reading and writing skills or math skills. This one-on-one attention should help your daughter acheive acedemically.

I would also encourage your daughter to become involved in an after-school program at the school she attends, whether it's a sport (if she qualifies acedemically) or a club. These activities will give her an opportunity to meet other kids that share a common interest and give her a chance to make some new friends. Host a pizza & movie party at your house and have her invite some of her classmates over. Outside of school, consider getting her involved in something she finds interesting: Classes at the YMCA, church youth group, a sports league, Boys & Girls Club (my daughter's favorite place to go!), Girl Scouts, Etc. Again, this will give her opportunities to make some friends outside of the school setting.

Communicate with the school and your daughter's teacher and seek some "extra help" for this year and above all, be patient--this is a process of change that will take time to adjust to. Hope this helps and good luck!

Patty - posted on 10/27/2010

went to school and we giving her 2 weeks see what will happen and see if what we did will help .

Kathryn - posted on 10/27/2010

How long was she home schooled, and how long has she been in public school? Find out what resources the school district has available and utilize them. Removing her won't get her caught up, it's just avoiding the problem. But extra tutoring and one-on-one help with a teacher could make a big difference.

She may benefit from a different teacher's teaching style. Or there may be a personality conflict that makes her not so excited to be in the classroom. If that's the problem, look into getting her into another teacher's class.

Maybe there are social issues that make her not like the public school too? It might take some time for her to make friends, especially if most of the kids in the school have been together since kindergarten.

If you give it some time, she'll probably make the best of it and may even come to love being in a classroom full of kids her age. I think it's important for kids to be involved with a diverse group of kids especially as they get into the preteen and teen years. Plus, I think public school teachers are better trained and have more experience teaching than most parents.