Unmotivated Teenager

Pat - posted on 04/21/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )

1

0

Our son is nearing high school graduation (we hope!) I can't remember a time in his life that he actually completed an assignment on time. From a very early age he has always been extremely bright but "different" in a way that few have been able to "put thier finger on." We've had him thoroughly tested by a neuropsychologist. She claims he's not ADD and has learning differences that should be easilly overcome - slow processing. Through the years we've tried everything...IEP in middle school which he hated and rebelled against anyone trying to help or coach him, ADD meds which didn't seem to help, depression meds (after diagnosis from aforementioned psycholgist) which he took so inconsistantly it's hard to know if they helped. He "secretly" weaned himself off of them because he didn't like how they made him feel. He seems to "come alive" at night - it's when he's most productive - but sleeps most of the day. Has trouble getting to school or anything else on time. He's in the last weeks of his senior year at high school. We're concerned he's so behind he may not graduate. He's very bright. He can hold his own in adult conversation about world issues, etc. Yes..he spends too much time on the internet. He has few if any friends. Doesn't go out with peers. Isn't interested in driving. Doesn't exercise. We've tried everything from sending him on a NOLS course for a month in Alaska last summer (which he claimed to really like) to begging him to get couseling - which he absolutely rejects. He is very shut down. He's a good kid, though. Doesn't get into trouble. Isn't doing drugs. Doesn't drink. All we can think of to do is tell him if he fails to graduate he'll have to get his GED and a job...otherwise....he's out! I envision him homeless, standing on the highway with a cardboard sign! It's pretty boring at home these days...his sister is away at college. His father and I work full time. We're considering taking away the laptop after school is out - since it belongs to US - and telling him he needs to work to make money to buy his OWN laptop and can't use the excuse anymore that he "needs" it for schoolwork...which he isn't finishing anyway! I'm rambling. We've tried everything...we're good, stable parents. I'm at a total loss. Any advice?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms

1 Comment

View replies by

Theresa - posted on 04/21/2011

1,310

22

Has he been checked for Aspbergers? It sounds like it could be a high functioning autism. Did the school test for learning disabilities? Kids who are very bright but perform badly in school could have issues like dyslexia. Will he talk openly with you? If he will you could ask questions as to why he has such a hard time at school. Try to ask, but not be judgmental, listen and try to come to some sort of conclusion. By this age he could very well just feel he's stupid and there's no help. If you can find the learning disability it could make a world of difference in his attitude and self confidence. I would pursue both those angles and see if they lead anywhere. Good luck.