Unorganized 10 year old...need help

Melanie - posted on 11/11/2008

I highly recommend the book The Organized Student. Being organized is a learned skill. This book walks you through setting up a system that works for him. A system that works for you may not be the best one for him..this book gives different options for him to choose from. If he can develop a system that he is comfortable with, he is likely to continue to use it. I've used it with all three of my kids with great success. Good luck!

Elizabeth - posted on 11/07/2008

Same issue, same age. This may sound "overboard" but they have planners at school, but if yours doesn't, maybe get him a small notepad, and I make mine right down every assignment (they are required to of course) and I sign it and the teacher signs it. If he doesn't bring the right materials (books, worksheets) home, loses a privilege that night. He has not liked losing tv, etc., so it has really helped and the teachers are all in favor, as he is smart, just disorganized, and there is a humiliation factor there too - he has to do something "extra" (the teacher signing it) that the other kids don't which prompts him to stay on task more.... Good luck - dealt w/it last year some too...

Alison - posted on 11/07/2008

Some of your posted comments will ring true with any mother of a teenage child. My eldest son who is nearly 15 as diagnosed with Dyspraxia at the age of 5 and so being disorganised is a big problem and i'm sure he thinks i'm constantly nagging when in fact i'm trying to help. He's been in the canadian school system for only 5 months (Gr9) and the school have just finally accepted that their are serious problems that he needs extra help with.



Also have a son (gr7-middle school) who is smart but forgetful so maybe too its got something to do with changes in hormones.



I do hear and relate to all of yous.

Gwen - posted on 11/07/2008

I'm having the same problems! If I hear "I forgot" "I don't know" one more time, I'm going to scream!!

My DS has one of the attentive girls at his bus stop- I usually casually ask her, "so what test is coming up next?" She always knows, my little man has no idea. It also helps to network, he spends lots of time calling up other 5th graders to get page numbers, vocab words, ect.

I also use lots of lists- he had a list stuck to the front of his agenda book last year with every single thing he needed to think about before he left school- jacket, lunchbox, folder, math homework, ect... That way he had something to jog his memory, "oh, yeah, did I bring a coat today?"

We are still struggling with the act of actually putting the papers into the folder, though...

Ashley - posted on 11/07/2008

That is usual! My daughter is 11 and she is soooo very messy. I have to go through everything she owns about every two months to be sure there isnt mold growing somewhere!!! She's a huge help with everything and a great kids, but messy! If anything will help do tell!

Jeannette - posted on 11/06/2008

My problem is that my 11.5 yr old son is very smar, but if he doesnt like the subject or the teacher then he doesnt care about the work. How do I get him to see that it only hurts him?

Tricia - posted on 11/06/2008

he is a straight A student, just made the honor roll, but I have no idea how he manages to do it. he is a mess. he has papers crinkled, wrinkled, torn and just plain shoved into his trapper! maybe i shouldnt worry since he is getting good grades, i just worry i guess.

Kellie - posted on 11/06/2008

Part of their age....and sometimes adults operate better when things are unorganized...it makes more sense to them for some reason. I just always make sure that my son brings home his school work...and if he doesn't and he gets points taken off for grades b/c of unorganization...then he gets punished by not having friends over for a day or two at the most...and making him do homework right after school b/f any fun time...I think that teaching them by example is also a good way. Look at some of the teachers classrooms, very unorganized but they are amazing teachers and super intelligent w/ our children. I wouldn't worry too much about it unless it gets worse and worse...there are classes here where I live that children can take b/f entering into middle school offered at the end of the summer on note taking and organization. I had my son take it...and it helped..somewhat, lol! Good luck, hope it helps!!

Barbara - posted on 11/06/2008

This sounds like my now 12 year old, who still struggles, but has really made some improvements. I think accepting that this is developmentally appropriate is the first big step. My son is also gifted, and he really gets caught up in his head - I have actually made the mistake of mistaking eye contact for attention! : ) What has helped my son has been him taking the work seriously - meaning, he gets pretty upset when he misses an assignment, forgets to bring something in, etc. It's been really difficult, but I've had to step aside and allow him to experience those negative consequences. They really seem to have helped him to stay more on top of his "game". Now, this does not really include things like remembering his jacket or lunchbox, but he is a straight A student, and that is with almost no micromanaging from me - which means he is getting it together when and where it is important to him. I've begun implementing a few consequences for the other items too, but I try not to go overboard with it because I can tell he is *really* trying.

I worked with him to help him develop a system for keeping track of his homework - but he was the one who decided what the system would be. I think getting your child to buy into the system, rather than imposing it, is really important. Ultimately our goal is that they will go out into the world and be able to be successful, right? Helping them helping themselves is, in my opinion, the big challenge of the 10-14 year old group. Knowing when to let them fail because of their forgetfulness is hard, but I think it is also a necessary and important part of learning. Best of luck!

Renae - posted on 11/06/2008

Went through the same thing last year with my now 11.5 year old son. What worked for him was color coded folders: blue folder for Math stuff, Red folder for Reading, etc... He also had a planner to write down assignments, homework, projects due. Provide a quiet, uncluttered study place at home. We made sure he had a place for his supplies (pencils, sharpeners, paper, markers,...) for easy access and no excuses. We also used a timer (auditory reminder). When he came home he had 30 minutes to do what he wanted. Then start any homework. Now in the 6th grade, he figured out if he just does his homework when he gets home, have planner signed by me (check over work), and put completed work directly in correct folder he gets to play until dinner without having to come in. Not saying he is now the most organized, but if something didn't get turned in or done...he knows right where to find it. hope some of this helps.

Laura - posted on 11/05/2008

I have a 10.8 year old boy in 5th grade. I think part of it is their age. He is going through a lot of physical changes and school is getting harder. He is in gifted classes but the darn kid can't find his shoes or lunch pail on a daily basis! We have put several different organization systems in place. First and fore most a daily schedule. That way his day and expectations are organized. We have specific places for his backpack, shoes, etc. He sets out his clothes the night before (including socks etc.) and his lunch gets packed. It helps the next morning to run smoothly. It is hard enough to have a disorganized kid but it make it even harder to start the day with everyone stressed. I have other tips if you find these helpful :)

Charity - posted on 11/05/2008

unorganized in school work, personal space,etc....?