Want to give freedom to be more involved in technology

Elicia - posted on 11/15/2008 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I, together, with my two older children have created email accounts as well as IM accounts for them. Periodically, I check out what they've been up to especially in the chat world. I feel it is my responsibility as an adult to do this. I've told them I would and thought that was all i needed to do.

Today, I checked my daughters IM history with a particular person whose screen name I found objectionable for a 10/11 year old. It started off somewhat benign talking about what boy you like, i like so and so, etc; but escalated into a nasty name calling mess that I feel was instigated by my daughter because she called this other girl ugly, fat and stupid. She kept on reiterating the same garbage over and over. Well, by the end of it yesterday it was a mess. the C word was flying back and forth, bitch, Ho, I don't know where they got this from, but i never use any of that with my daughter and I am really pissed that this went on.

Needless to say, she has lost her IM account. its gone, deleted and she will be spoken to by my husband and i in about 15 min. BTW: hubby feels that she was defending her friend and that she was justified in calling her ugly, fat & stupid. I told him that teenage girls commit suicide over this type of thing.

Am I over reacting? Is he under reacting?

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Bonnie - posted on 11/17/2008

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I think that girls can definitally be caddy! That is likley why I hung out with the boys when I was young. That being said I have told my daughter in situations like this that she doesn't need to use colorfull language to get her point accross and have helped her with the conversations if she is right promoted her defending herself if she is wrong explaining to her why. My two cents at least you know whats going on when she is at home on the computer you dont when she is at school. I guess what I am trying to say is taking away the computer wont really help, teaching her how to communicate with her peers will not only help her but keep you in the loop!

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