what age do you stop holding hands with son

Reggy - posted on 06/28/2011 ( 17 moms have responded )

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We were at baseball game when leaving my son 10 and I held hands in the parking lot like always. Some jerk Said look at the baby holding hands with his mommy.

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Julie - posted on 07/05/2011

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your son will let you know when he thinks the time is right not to hold his hand. my son was 8 when i had to stop holding his hand in public and kissing him at the school gate.. iw as gutted my baby had grown up allittle. he still liked plenty hugs kisses and hand holding at home just not in public.

Wendy - posted on 07/04/2011

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I agree with all of them I have a 25 and a 18 year old son that always say I love you in private and when they are with their friends and my 18 year old will hold my hand even when he is with his girlfriend. As long as you are both comfortable with it, then other people need to mind their on business. I still hold my dads hand and I'm 48.

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J - posted on 02/15/2014

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i see the comments of mother and son (or vice versa) holding hands are all womens' comments. maybe you should ask those men you are speaking for... they may just not be wanting to hurt your feelings.

[deleted account]

My oldest son is 12 years old, he and I still hold hands, and he still loves it when I give him hugs and kisses even when I take him to school.

Della - posted on 08/08/2011

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85 is good. I told my boys I would give them a kiss before we got to their school and if they forgot I would chase them down with a bear hug and plant one on them. Some one teased my boy once about the kiss goodbye; his come back was "Sorry your mom doesn't care." He is secure and I get to show affection. All the men in my family are huggers; so good role models help.

Diane - posted on 07/25/2011

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I agree with Jill, never too old. It really is sad that others are so critical.

Paula - posted on 07/09/2011

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Who cares what other people say. You will probably never see that jerk again. Our children will be grown before we know it. As long as your son is cool with it, you enjoy it while it last. Chances are it won't last much longer anyway. :(

Klara - posted on 07/07/2011

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If your son is still comfortable holding your hand, don't worry about it. Maybe the "jerk," was jealous his mommy didn't hold his hand enough? Kids grow up too quickly the way it is. He will soon be interested in other things and probably stop doing it on his own. I have 2 girls that are very affectionate, and I encourage them to give hugs and show their affection. Life is too short to worry about what others think if you are happy/comfortable with the way things are!

Angela - posted on 07/06/2011

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Why is everyone assuming that the "jerk" who made this comment was an adult/parent and not a child?

I agree with most of what Jennifer Morse has said - especially about asking your son how he feels.

Don't agree that the comment was necessarily made by a parent of a problem child OR a problem child. It could have been anyone (perhaps you could come on here and clarify, Reggy?).

I knew a kid that was very wrapped up in his mother. She wasn't a bad person but didn't really have a clue. He was spoiled rotten from birth and is now 31. His mother is elderly now and he threatens her and steals from her etc ... She always held his hand - well into his teen years.

Don't assume the problem kid comes from a home where they're rough & ready, or that the kid who holds his mother's hand is sweet-natured and decent!

Not suggesting that your son is any kind of a problem kid Reggy, I'm sure he isn't!!

Becky - posted on 07/05/2011

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My 11yr old son still grabs my hand or arm when we are walking... my mom tell him to stop and that he's to big for it. He's my "baby" and if wants to hold on to me I don't care. And he still gives me kisses and hugs in front of whoever and where ever.

Jennifer - posted on 07/03/2011

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That parent was just being rude and for no reason. I think if you want to hold his hand, you should be able to even until he is in his 30's. Not because you need to control him but because you love him. I am guessing that the guy who said that has a child who is an absolute nightmare and has never been taught right and wrong by his parents. There are so many parents theses days that want to just let the world raise their children instead of taking an active role.

For your son's sake and to avoid ridicule from his peers, you might want to talk to him about it and see what he thinks. Ask him if it bothers him that you hold his hand at certain times. If it does and he would rather walk alone, then teach him what things to watch out for so he can be safe even when he isn't holding your hand. Go over rules, like cross the street at the light, look both ways when going into a parking lot, and know that just because you can see a car does not mean they can see you so be extra careful where cars are.

Being a parent does not have to be...just us making the rules. We can learn from our kids if we keep an open line of communication and let them discuss with us how they feel about a subject and collaborate together to find a solution where both people feel comfortable.

Jill - posted on 06/29/2011

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I'm so happy to hear so many moms responding with so much love in their families. Our kids need it more than ever in todays world. They are expected to grow up too fast. The principal at one of my kids schools told him he was too old to kiss his mom goodbye. I told him that if she or anyone said that just to say "youre never too old for that."

Christine - posted on 06/28/2011

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How rude! What a jerk...Well, my son is 9 and I still grab his hand in the parking lots. Sometimes I notice he doesn't want to if another kid is around (how embarassing mom! lol) but most of the time he doesn't mind.

Nikki - posted on 06/28/2011

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Oh and I am 32 and when I see my father I kiss him right on the lips. Some people think it is weird but that is how we have always been.

Nikki - posted on 06/28/2011

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Whoever said that to you is a complete idiot. My oldest son is 11 and he will still crawl in bed with me on the weekends and we will watch TV together. My daughter is 14 and she still sits on my lap. I keep telling her she is too big but secretly I love it. Children now a days are forced to grow up way too fast. I think it is wonderful that your son still holds your hand. Unfortunately he might think twice about it now over one stupid remark make by a stranger.

[deleted account]

My son is 14 and he will still hold hands with me in the car if he's had a long day at school, but not usually in public. However, he will hug me in public and isn't afraid to say "love you mom" in front of his friends. He also still comes to me first thing in the morning for a "good morning hug". I love my kids and I want them to know it. I also want them to recognize that having a bond with your family is OK, it's not gross, or inappropriate at all. IMO, 10 is too young to stop holding hands or letting your son know that he's important and loved. He can be "tough" when he's an adult or an older teen, but for now, he still needs that connection.

Jill - posted on 06/28/2011

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You know, where I come from you're never to old to hold hands with your mom, never too old to kiss your mom, never too old to get a kiss from your mom, never too old to hug or be hugged by your mom. If anyone has a problem with it our response is, " how sad that you're not close to your mom anymore. I'm so glad that I am." My kids are 14,12, and 9 and they all feel great about doing those things because they are proud of that bond.

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