What is with my 10 year old having a atitude all the time. She did not use to be this way.

Kelly - posted on 09/13/2009 ( 37 moms have responded )

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My daughter gets a atitude at everything, getting her up in the morning is a pain in the ass. She wines about nothing and she has everything a kid could want. So what is with the atitude

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Carmen - posted on 09/29/2009

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i thin it's just something that happens , esp. to the girls at that age, mine is 11, and it only gets worse... how do you handle it?

Sharon - posted on 09/25/2009

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Quoting Kelly:

What is with my 10 year old having a atitude all the time. She did not use to be this way.

My daughter gets a atitude at everything, getting her up in the morning is a pain in the ass. She wines about nothing and she has everything a kid could want. So what is with the atitude



Hi Kelly



You have my sympathy as my son is the exact same.  Everything is an inconvience to him and his attitude sticks.  I was advised by a friend to try making up a chart for them and sitting them down and going over with this with him with choirs he has to do.  I have put down things like he has to be in for 8.30pm then in his bath for school, PJ's to be folded and put on his bed before leaving, room to be tidied one night then the next night he has to do the dinner dishes, things like that.  He has been told if he doesn't complete the chart each day he will not get pocket money for this day but, if he does everything on the chart each week he will receive extra pocket money.  It was a struggle at first but I have stuck to this for the past 3 weeks and things are slowly but surely improving and so is our relationship.  Hope this helps.

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Trysta - posted on 01/16/2013

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My 9 year old boy cries about everything. It's time to take a bath, hysterically cries has to do chores, hysterically cries anything his stepfather says to him, and I mean anything whether its playful or meaningful he cries hysterically its getting worse I can't even ask him to take out his puppy without him crying what do I do he just seems way too emotional his real dad isn't a part of his life however his grandfather took him to see him I jail over Christmas but when I ask him about it he has nothing to say just shrugs his shoulders

Sherry - posted on 10/01/2009

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It could be alot of different things. I would try talking to her, in the evenings, because she doesn't sound like a morning person. I can relate to that. Ask her why she has an attitude with you? and is there something you should know about, because what you do not know, you can not help her with. The problem might not be with you at all. I would let her know she can be open with you, and you want to try to solve this problem together with her...She might just be trying to get your attention...you never can tell, but good luck.....

Jaime - posted on 10/01/2009

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I am thinking she's getting close to starting her period. My daughter did the exact same thing, she's 11.5 and she just started her period but her attitude started about a year ago.

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I would have to say it is the influence of children they hang around (public schools being the worst). It was the same when I was in school and I am sure it hasn't got any better. Kids are heavily influenced by their peers. I was the same way. I did thing different with my children though. I have home educated for many years (12 of our 15 are already grown) and I have to tell you that we did not have an "attitude" problem with any of them. They were all raised to be respectful, love and obey the Lord, and be helpful and kind to others. They have all been such a blessing. I just wish my mom had done the same with me then perhaps I wouldn't have got into so much trouble as a teen.

Sabrina - posted on 09/28/2009

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we are raising our 9 year old grandaughter i think overstimulation is alot to blame i have to stop her world for a day keep her right with me by grounding then shes okay for a few days plus hormones are part of it too she came home from school and she was fine the next two housrs she became a real monster i said why are you so mean now and you were so good two hours go the tears came ans she said i dont know i do its hormones

Janice - posted on 09/27/2009

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Most likely it's puberty! Maybe taking away some of her priviledges, will change that attitude. You're the mom, tell her you're not her classmate, playmate or teammate, and she needs to check her attitude. Stop giving her everything see wants, in real life we don't get everthing we want, and she needs to know this now!

Lynnell - posted on 09/26/2009

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Hi

I agree Hormones can be and are probably playing a part in it. My daughter is 10 nearly 11 and alot of things are painful for us to talk with her about. I also know she is the oldest of my children and our younger son needs more one on one, so I know jealousy does play a part in it. We have started implementing more one on one time with her. Her father takes her out on her own sometimes too. It seems to be helping a little but the rest I think are hormones. I can't remember being as bad as she but if I was I feel sorry for my mum :)

Tracey - posted on 09/26/2009

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Another thing is the girls seems to be going through puberty alot earlier than I did, my 11yo has been giving me the attitude since she was 8yo. She is getting better but it has been very hard

Qiana - posted on 09/25/2009

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I agree with Marlene it's hormonal. Everything begins to irritate kids at this age. The more we struggle to keep them close. The more they seem to want to pull away. My youngest is 10 and oldest is 14. My oldest has always been the angry one and my 10 year old the sweet one. Now my 10 year old is snappy like his brother used to be, full of attitude and his brother is sweet and wants to be under me more. Hang in there, this too shall pass!

Rebecca - posted on 09/23/2009

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I love mu daughter dearly but at the same time can't stand her! I'm going to find a book that was mentioned in another blog and read it. It is titled Have a New Kid by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman.

Hildy - posted on 09/23/2009

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I do not have a daughter but when my son started to sass my husband and me, we let him know right away that we did not appreciate it. We told him that he would be punished if it happened again. Since he is somewhat of a sensitive boy he cried and promised he wouldn't do it again. And he hasn't. We are lucky. But, I agree that this may be a hormonal issue and you may have to put up with her PMS or take her to the doctor and have her put on some kind of medication to relieve the situation.

Monica - posted on 09/22/2009

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I have a 12 year old daughter who I swears picked up her bad attitude from her 19m year old sister but lately she is so mouthy about everything. I do not remember my other daughter being this bad. She now has her 6 year old brother having a bad attitude and I swear I am counting the days till they are all grown up and out on their own.

Joann - posted on 09/21/2009

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It's like another person has taken over her body, Mine is chronically late. She and I have started seeing a counselor. She's been wonderful. My daughter really likes her and I have seen progress.
I also know hormones are kicking in and their frontal lobe of the brain is not fully developed to understand consequences that maybe in the future. We are staying in counseling, It has helped my stress by letting her deal with the consequences of being late for school, not having her work done. She is seeing that it's her job. I would be the one stressed because she would be late she didn't care one way or another. Now I tell her, I'll be in the car-I'm ready to go-----I'm ready
she'll either be on time of her doing or be late of her doing and she will have to deal with the consequences,

Miekele - posted on 09/21/2009

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have her not constantly in the middle of adult conversations and arguments the other is Puberty you may think its a little early but my daughter is a week off of 11 and she hit puberty weeks&weeks ago

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HORMONES!!!!! my daughter just turned 11 but started the acting different at age 10,then started "spotting" now i have to explain to her brothers why she acts like this.

Natalie - posted on 09/20/2009

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Hi, this has happened to my ten year old, who will be 11 in a few weeks. She seemed to wake up one morning and the attitude was just there!! I put it down to changing from from lower to middle school and hormones!

Amrita - posted on 09/20/2009

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Sounds like my kid....I agree possibly they get everything...ever seen the attitude after a straight spell of watching TV /playing on the Computer of over 2 Hours..Nasty.....rude and spoils every ones mood ....or when you are running short of time and there is a showdown cominfg and you just don't know how to avoid it..........the thing which gets me going ballistic...is disrespect and to my questions when , how , why, where I get zombied answers like"I don't Know"........................

Melissa - posted on 09/19/2009

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Hearing all of you makes me feel so much better. My little 10 year old attitude moster isn't the only one out there. I love her but she drives me crazy sometimes. All I know is that I've said sorry to my mom, and apriciate her even more now. I can so wait till my younger kids go through this stage of life.

Shara - posted on 09/18/2009

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It Puberty she is either about to start her menstrual cycle or is already on and she is feeling like she's a woman. I have an 11 year old and she is going through the same thing! And this is what I found it to be.

Hilja - posted on 09/18/2009

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Quoting Heidi:

It must be an age thing because my 10 year old boy is the same way. Sometimes I wonder if he is 2 again. He has everything and anything you can imagine and its still not enough. Go figure. I hope this stage doesn't last long, because it gets very tiresome at times when he can go on for hours at a time.


Hi, yes, it is the age. I have 4 children and my youngest is a 10 year old boy. They are the sweetest and still so innocent, but can turn into those monsters. Glad to be reminded that it is just a phase and he is NORMAL.  Like you said Heidi, they act 2 again. And I find with my boys it's aggression that comes out and with my girls it was an emotional meltdown.



I too nip it in the bud. First time he sasses at me I remind him that he will lose out on something and  when he is his normal wonderful self I praise the heck out of him. 



This too shall pass. Just like my PMS each month!

Donna - posted on 09/17/2009

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Wow... You hit my daughter right on the head! If I have said it once I have said it a thousand times.." Watch who your talking to" My girl will be 11 this coming Saturday and she is an angel at times, but when the attitude comes out I just want to wet her lips and stick her to the wall! I dont get the whining I get the rolling eyeballs and the mouth..... She is an only child as well and to top it off she is a minnie me!

Janet - posted on 09/16/2009

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My daughter is 12 1/2 and she is really trying out sarcasm and eye rolling with me. I have been very clear with her what is and what is not okay for her to say to me and will make her restate things to me in a nicer tone until she gets the message. I have noticed that her attitude is much worse when she has been hanging around her peers or watching some tv shows where the kids talk back to their tv parents all the time. Our culture does not value respect so we as parents have to work twice as hard. I don't excuse rudeness or attitude and have noticed she is responding to this.

Robin - posted on 09/16/2009

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I feel for you... My dd who is 10 is the same way but, you know what I've come to realize its just the age and it's only going to get worst but, down deep inside my daughter loves me a whole bunch and she sure misses me more now that I've been so busy with not only kid things but, my business. She is still a mommys girl just going through the growing pains. :)

Laura - posted on 09/16/2009

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I think the lable Tween really hits the mark. They aren't little girls anymore yet they aren't as grown up as they want to be. The hormones have started to rear their ugly heads and they are very frusterated. Mine is in the same place as yours right now. I really hope they grow out of it soon. Good luck.

Dawna - posted on 09/16/2009

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9 is the new age of for girls to start menstruating. At this age they are so much more worldly than we were and they have to find themselves in this world while trying to figure out what is happening to them. Hormones are a big factor at this age and only to get stronger and more consistent in their influence.

Cheryl - posted on 09/15/2009

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Don't think you're alone. My daughter is 11 and she has that attitude also. The thing is she knows better because she does it sometime. The ladies at my church talked with her last week after we went evangelizing in the community and that did wonders. The saying it takes a village to raise a child. I honestly agree especially when it comes to girls. I think the hormones are raging. They are entering into the stage of preteen and not sure what to do. They aren't and adult and they feel they aren't a small child either. I hope they find themselves soon

Molly - posted on 09/15/2009

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I think 10 is just a grown up version of terrible 2's. I did not like 10 with my first 3 kids. 11 and 12 are better. Stand tough, it's only a year!

Ginny - posted on 09/15/2009

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My girl just turned 11 and she gets an attitude about everything.She always fight with her sister,she thinks she should have everything,she back talks.The other day we had planned for months to watch Vampire Diaries when it came on.She has cable in her room so she can watch whatever she wants.So the day came and me and her sister was going to watch it with her but my daughter Alyssa (the 11 year old)said that it was not right that we watch it with her since she read all the books she felt that she should watch it alone.I was pissed that she got this kind of attitude.So i went to her room and we started watching the show and her sister got done with her bath and came in to watch it and Alyssa got a attitude and left the room and went to watch Tv with her dad.He was watching wrestling or the news.I told her thats why she is losing her cable and her sister is getting it.her attitude has changed since then.Now if either one of the girls give me problems they have to write sentences and if they run their mouth back at me while doing it or if they give me more problems they will get twice as much.Needless to say they have been changing their attitudes.Last night they both had 50 sentences to write (I will be nice to my sister).Crack the whip on them if you do not it will get worse.It does not make you a bad parent to be hard on your child.Actually my daughter was nicer to me after I took her cable away.I rather speak my mind and get it out and have them deal with it then keep getting upset and fighting with them.Tell them this is the way it is and I do not want to hear anything else or their will be a punishment.In my case it sentences for the girls and they hate that but it gets through to them.No tv,outside or anything until sentences are done and if they want to throw a fit thats ok because the longer they will be there and the more they will have.

Amy - posted on 09/14/2009

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My ten year old son loses everything he has when his attitude shows up. I believe it is the phase before the tweener.

Kassie - posted on 09/14/2009

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My step-son Isaac is the same way and he is 10. Everything pisses him off. I think their bodies are just changing and they just don't know how to adjust very well. As for an answer or a solution to "fix" the issue... I don't have one. But its nice to know that we're not the only ones who have a 10 yr old that needs a serious attitude adjustment!

Kem - posted on 09/13/2009

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My daughter just turned twelve and the only thing that I can attribute her terrible attitude to is HORMONES!! She has not started yet, but I feel it is coming anytime!! She is now in 7th grade and like your daughter, has an attitude about anything and everything. She is happy, she is sad, Sse is fine and then she cries about nothing. Like yours, she pretty much has everything so I don't know what the problem is. If you find a good answer I will be looking for it!!

Marlene - posted on 09/13/2009

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I think hormones are starting to rear their ugly head. Also they start to show their independence and I find that reminding them that you are still in charge from the get go is important. I told my children that if they treated me that way then I have every right to treat them that way. For instance my daugter, 14, started to take advantage of my driving abilities. Like take me here and pick me up then and then making me wait for her to get done talking to her friends, knowing I had to be somewhere. So I basically reminded her that she has a bike and she could walk if I wasn't satisfying her. The snotty and rude attitude subsided and now she asks if anyting is going on and if I could give her a ride or pick her up at a certain time. She just needed to be reminded that the world didn't revolve around her.

Heidi - posted on 09/13/2009

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It must be an age thing because my 10 year old boy is the same way. Sometimes I wonder if he is 2 again. He has everything and anything you can imagine and its still not enough. Go figure. I hope this stage doesn't last long, because it gets very tiresome at times when he can go on for hours at a time.

Lisa - posted on 09/13/2009

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I can remember when my daughter was 10, one of her little friends spent the night and I overheard my daughter and her friend talking and apparently my daughter had an attitude because she found that only thing she was getting for Christmas was a computer, and at the time her brother was 1 and she was mad because he was getting a lot of stuff. I was wondering was she had an attitude and had no problem showing it, so I immediately put her in her place. I told her the cost of the things her brother were getting were no where near the cost of a computer and I had to explain to her that it wasn't about money. I later came to the realization that my daughter was spoiled and she had too much and she was very unappreciative. So stopped getting her so much, and now she is a much different person. She tells me all the time how she appreciates me and glad that I always kept her in her place, and when she would get out of line, I make her come back to reality.

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