what is wrong with my daughter< she is only 11 years old and she is always thinking about boys, shes moody, and she sneaks out.

Tanya - posted on 08/26/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 11 years old and she has spiraled out of control. She loves boys and has no respect for her body or anyone else. She has been a great for years but the last year or so she has went crazy. Her brother was diagnosed with ADHD/ASPERGERS so he takes up a lot of time so i know there may be some jealousy. Her dad and I split up finally he was never mean to kids but was emotionally and on a few occasions physically violent with me. Now he wants nothing to do with her he only talks of her younger brother. She is not currently sexually active but has had some sexual episodes without sex. She recently tried drinking and smoking. She goes to counseling but hates her counselor. She has had all privileges taken away, grounded and if she doesn't get her own way she takes off on three occasions now. I thought maybe she might be bipolar or have an imbalance somewhere.I wont give up on her just looking for others advice or opinions on how to deal with the situation. She goes from happy to miserable, to sad in no time. I am stumped. Thanks in advance

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Tanya - posted on 08/27/2012

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ya i have brought these concerns to her counsellor and i am trying to see if i can switch her to a different one or i mam going to bring it to my family doctors attention and see what they think . Last step will be 72 hr evaluation at the local emerge.

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Michelle - posted on 10/05/2012

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Hello Tanya,



Wow, sounds like you are very concerned about your daughter and dealing with a lot yourself. I just posted a link to my website with a free audio download for parents. It's an aid for parents on how to talk with your teen about sex. One thing that is interesting is, that teen's are starting puberty much earlier, even as early as age 9. But, their cognitive development is doesn't necessarily develop at the same pace. So, you have an adolescent is is physically more developed than they are cognitively. Also, teens are very concrete thinkers. They experience intense emotions, but again, cognitively the part of their brain that governs reason, logic and impulse control, isn't developing at the same pace. Please visit my website www.adjustedperspectives.com and follow the link to download the audio. Please enter the code CircleofMoms10 after you check out. All of that being said, kids have difficulty with transition and change. The behavior that she is exhibiting needs to be addressed in that the pain that she is feeling is manifesting in her acting out. Getting to the root of the problem, rather than adding consequences, will go a long way in your relationship with her! I'm an adolescent life coach and would be happy to talk with you. Please visit my website and remember - TAKE A DEEP BREATH :D

Tanya - posted on 08/28/2012

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Oh wow thanks for the help and advice to everyone. I dont want to lose her i am a single mom of two kids and they are my greatest achievements in life. It just saddens me that all this is going on i hope things go back to normal soon. I have also started looking into alarm systems so i know if she leaves. Well i will definately have to rethink the 72 hr evaluation now and see what else is out there that might help. :) thanks again to all

Chaya - posted on 08/27/2012

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If you put her on a 72 hour hold, you'll loose all cooperation and respect. My parents tried that, after that, at age 10, I preferred to live under a bridge in Portland and later with my aunt and uncle over living with my dad and his wife. They wouldn't have allowed me with them anyways. Not saying don't do it, but count the costs first

Tanya - posted on 08/27/2012

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I give her plenty of attention . My mom actually watches my son one night a week and a few hrs a day we have to ourselves where we do stuff we like she always talks to me it just takes her a day or two to inform me of stuff. She is a really good kid and it upsets me that she is dealing with things in all the wrong ways i am hoping that it is a phase and she will outgrow it. She is presently grounded she is a kid and doesnt really understand the concepts i am trying to teach her we are making a little progress and i am hoping things get better soon. At least she is not sexually active and i am gonna be seeing her counsellor this week and family doctor to get better medical attention

Tanya - posted on 08/27/2012

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ya that is what i think. Its just trying to get her to open up my new boyfriend is really good to her so i am hoping in time things will get better

Chaya - posted on 08/26/2012

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Find a councilor she likes, she won't cooperate otherwise, it'll just be a waste of time and monies for all involved. She's too young to be involved with boys at this point.

One of my concerns is that an 11 y/o who is hypersexual has a great chance of being abused. You need to ask her about it directly, with the therapist.

Michelle - posted on 08/26/2012

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sounds to me like she is looking for attention and is willing to get it anyway she can. With her brother needing all that extra attention and dad having nothing to do with her but still in her brothers life all these thing add up to a young lady who is looking for someone to love her.

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