what should i tell my 10yr old daughter when she tell me she's growing hair on her private part

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Lisa - posted on 08/03/2012

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Explain to her that people are ignorant and stupid and that to be woman in this world is a very difficult thing. But that she must find it withiin herself to ignore the stupid comments and be strong. It is not easy, but she will be a stronger and better person for it in the end.

And as a mother, I would go to the school administration and report what is happening. She is being bullied and harassed. They either have to monitor it or tell them you will take legal action..

April - posted on 08/27/2012

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At ten years old she knows more than you realize,and if you do not tell her about this stuff she is going to learn from someone else. Do you really want your child learning about her body and sex from other people? She should already know about these things at ten years old. My daughters knew about their periods,pubic hair,and basic "how do babies get here" by the time they were ten. My 11 year old just started her period in April. Imagine the shock that would have been if she had not already known what it was. She also had the breasts and hair a year or so before that. These things are a sign that the period will begin soon so you may need to have a talk with her because what are you going to do when she starts and freaks out because she has no idea what is going on? She should already know what these things are and how to use feminine products and everything by age ten. Get on it. If she feels like she can't come to you because of the fearful vibes you put off,she is not going to come to you in the future. Be up front and honest,that is what I have done and my girls come to me with EVERYTHING now and they trust what I tell them.

Kathy - posted on 08/18/2012

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The truth. Explain to her it's normal and we all have it and then tell her about puberty. look online for a guide to explaining puberty to girls if you feel uncomfortable.

Michelle - posted on 07/30/2012

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explain to her what puberty is and that it is all a part of growing up

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Jane - posted on 09/02/2012

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I don't have a daughter, only a 13 year old son, but he asked lots of questions from an early age and I always made a point of telling him the truth so by the time he was 8 he knew all about puberty, what it was and what to expect. In fact, when he went into Year 4 at school and the kids went from getting changed for PE in one room to the boys being in one and the girls in the other, some of the kids asked why and the teacher said 'well it's because of the changes your bodies are going to start going through' he piped up with 'I know what that is! That's puberty' and went on to explain exactly what it was and what would happen to the boys and the girls (I'd told him both)! The teacher told us later that she was really pleased with him for doing it and that he'd actually explained it better than she could have!



Upshot is - always answer all the questions as honestly and clearly as possible.

Zenzi - posted on 08/28/2012

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Thanks honey..........i need to plan a girls night out with her and gather enough courage.

Stacey - posted on 08/23/2012

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One of the greatest things I have in this world is my close relationship with my daughter. She is now 16 and knows that she could come to me with anything. This is because I have always been upfront and honest with her with everything. If you will talk to your daughter and let her know what wonderful changes are going to take place with her body, being completely open to questions from her and prepared to answer them in full detail, I think that she deserves it. Kids talk at school and they hear ALOT. Its always better for her to already know the truth. Don't sugar coat it. Life is life and this is a part of it. She will admire and respect you for talking to her as an older child. Also, when my daughter started her period at the age of 11, she and I went out and had a "Celebration into Womanhood Day!!" Had mani/Pedi's, went to get her "supplies" and just enjoyed the day. Being honest is the best way to go. They don't stay babies forever (although a bit longer would have been nice.) Best of luck to you!!

Jen - posted on 08/10/2012

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Zenzi - Most girls are excited about getting boobs - they want to be grown up. Once they have them, it's not always as much fun, of course. Everyone has given you very good advice already - I'd just say that American Girl makes a book, I think it's called "The Care and Keeping of You" which is a great book about puberty and general teenage stuff for girls. I highly recommend it. I only wish someone made one like that for boys.

Zenzi - posted on 08/09/2012

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Lol, Julie thats the part i love about raising kids...the comedy. Otherwise its a very challenging task.Can you believe my daughter cant wait to have boobs......she does'nt tell me in the face but i can see it in her reaction everytime we talk about about such things and it leaves me with a question as to why.

Julie - posted on 08/08/2012

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Lol, my 10 year old son YELLED from the bathroom one day, "Mom, I have 3 hairs on my penis!" What does one say to that? Thanks for the announcement? I told him it was normal, and the being of puberty. I have "read the book" and bought him a boy "123 Grow" he has read on his own which answers all the tough questions they are afraid to ask and we are not sure when to bring up...

Zenzi - posted on 08/06/2012

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Wow! beautiful Christine, beautiful, thank you. This site is proving to be a blessing to me. You women are so experienced, you got real sweet advice.I like the girls night out part and I'm definitely gonna check out the Amazon site.

Christine - posted on 08/04/2012

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I think you need to talk to her and explain about puberty and other body changes. Heck I got my first period at age 9... so she's 10.. she could get it anytime now.. so why not prepare her?

So many parents are nervous about having the "conversation".. the puberty one and the sex one.. but it is an important conversation to have. I can say that my daughter is 5, and she knows already about pubery, hair, periods, boobs, the works.. I never kept it a secret.. why? Well my thoughts are this..

Puberty is a natural change in the body.. and it is a big deal.. it is nothing to be ashamed of.. and my thing is.. when parents dont' talk to their kids about this.. they also are passing a subtle message to their child that they should be insecure or ashamed or embarrassed about their body changes..

As a mom if we talk openly about those issues, not only will your daughter feel more body confident but she'll also feel better about talking to you about things in her life. And as she gets older as a teen you'll want that communication.. trust me.

If it helps.. check on Amazon.com but there are several books explaning about puberty to young girls.. get one of those books if your worried about talking to her about it and go through the book together with her.

She needs to hear it from you.. if she doesn't.. she'll hear the wrong or poor information from friends.

Just have a "girls" night out.. take her out to denny's to get dessert, and while your there, talk about it. It'll create a nice mother daughter moment, and open the doors to communication.

Zenzi - posted on 08/03/2012

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you are such an Angel my darling....you don't know how pretty she is but she forgotten that and allowing people to brain wash..........i'm off Lisa have a lovely weekend. We be back on monday.

Lisa - posted on 08/03/2012

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In not really a fan of counseling. I think the best providers of comfort and strenth for our children are us. For veru serious situations, such as rape, incest, etc, of course, I would then seek professional treatment, but for bullying, my advise is just to check on the situation constantly and keep talking to her. Tell her that she matters and that there are many people in this world that will try to make her believe otherwise...she must learn to ignore those and listen to her inner strength. One passed on from you to her.

Zenzi - posted on 08/03/2012

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I actually called the head teacher who promised to take care of it.....so i'm waiting to see what measures she will take and i also think i'll know more after talking to her this afternoon.
Lisa love thank you...........your advice has uplifted my mood, at least i'll have something constractive to say to her this afternoon. My mom was also deeply hurt and she suggested councilling...do you think its too much.

Zenzi - posted on 08/03/2012

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Moms, i don't think some of you will believe this. I am so upset i think i'm even failing my daughter as a mom, "the surroundings we have to raise our children in". My 10 year old bends her waist when she walk, she just can't walk up straight and she has wide waistline.Yesterday she opened up to me and told me she gets teased almost everyday for that.....her colleagues say that she walks like she was once raped and they actually confront her about it saying that she must admit she was once raped and stop lying. You know ladies i just stood there in front of her, puzzled not knowing what to tell her and she actually asked me to take to the clinic where they can probably fix her waist, (ok now that was funny) and she asked me to send her to another school. Honestly i don't know what to say to her, its 15:37 hrs and its 17:00hrs i have to be on my way home. I don't think i'll be able to build her self esteem up while i'm still as upset as i am................any views will go a long way.

Lisa - posted on 08/01/2012

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You should. I got my period when I was nine. By that time I had pubic hair and was wearing at 32A bra. My Mom was honest and open with me about the changes that my body were going through and what they meant. Because of that, we built a strong and healthy relationship. And while all my stupid little friends came with rumors and misknowledge (due to their parent's inability to talk to them) I was prepared with the truth and always ran to my Mom when in doubt.

Zenzi - posted on 07/30/2012

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Michelle i tried but to tell you the truth i'm also scared and i feel like i should be telling her more.

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