What time is a good bedtime for children at ages: 17, 16, 13, 12?

Maria Gue - posted on 11/19/2010 ( 37 moms have responded )

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I have four children in various ages. I would like them to go to bed at a normal time. I don't think they have to stay up just because...if they have nothing to do like homework, then why not take advantage of an early bedtime?

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Beverly - posted on 03/25/2013

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When I was growing up and when my son was growing up, bed times were preschool age was 7 pm Kingdergarden was 7:30, first, second and third grade was 8 pm fourth, fifth and sixth was 8:30, Seventh, eighth and ninth were 9 pm tenth, eleventh and was 9:30. When I was in twelfth grade, I went to bed when I wanted with the understanding that if I gave a hard time in getting up the next morning or if I was a grouch the following day, I would have a bed time.

Josselyn - posted on 10/08/2012

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By the time my daughter was 12 she started going to bed whenever she wanted.

Monica - posted on 11/22/2010

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With all do respect: I disagree that you can soley determine a bedtime strictly by someone's age. Speaking from experience of being a child/teenager that just Flat Out...did NOT need the "typical" sleep of others. I was diagnosed with Insomnia at the age of 14 & still at age 36 can live a Very Full & Extremely Active life. My oldest (13) does not have "insomnia" but does require less sleep than normal. She is just plain out, Not tired @ 9:00/9:30pm & I understand that. Her day can start anywhere from 5am-6am. She is an Honor student who has had a 4.0 GPA throughout her school career. She is on a traveling tournament Softball team playing on the 16yr old team. As well as plays on the Junior Olympic traveling Volleyball team & has taken 1st place in State for Track & Field. Point being: They will not necessarily do "bad" in school, etc if they do not get 10th hours of sleep; sometimes you just have to "know" your children & each of their boundaries without allowing them to cross them. We do however, require that she be in bed by 9:30pm & atleast relaxing with a book or writing in a journal, etc. Something that she can do while resting. No computers & no phones! I have found that that does help her along tremendously! However, if she is having a rough night.....we again, understand.

Chet - posted on 08/20/2013

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They say that most teens need between 9 and 10 hours of sleep per night and that a large percentage of teens are sleep deprived. However, it depends on the person. I feel that by 16 or 17 you're a bit old to be having your mom tell you when to go to bed. You should have a sense yourself of how much sleep you need. My thought is that around grade 7 or 8 you stop enforcing bedtime and just have some basic household rules that allow other people to sleep even if you don't - No phone calls after 10pm, the kitchen is closed, the tv is off, you stay in your room, etc. It's one thing to read in bed until 11pm if you can still get up for school and function the next day. It's something else if you're up until 2am with the tv turned up, crashing around in the kitchen making food, talking on your cell phone and keeping other people up. When I was 12 I didn't have a bedtime, but I had to be ready for bed and in my room by 9pm. No phone calls after 10pm. I could read or do quiet things as long as I could still get myself up for school.

Danielle - posted on 11/19/2010

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We have 5 kids here are there bedtimes and the times they get up on school days......

3, 6, and 9 = bed at 8:30pm up at 7:00am
11 = 9:00pm up at 7:00am
15 = 9:30 and up at 6:30am

we have the kids stick to their bedtimes until they can show us that they are getting enough sleep by getting up without complaining then we gradually lengthen the bedtime.

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The - posted on 04/14/2014

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sorry guys but all you are doing to the teens is pissing them off so they will stay up im 13 and it feels like shit to be chuked in a 9 930 i stay out at that time somtimes give them room to breath god

Nikki - posted on 08/19/2013

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My 12 year old who will be 13 in October stays up till 4 am and sleeps till 1 pm and I need some suggestions on how to "make" him go to bed and wake up at a decent time. School is starting back next week and I'm afraid he wont be ready.

Lori - posted on 06/07/2013

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My son will be 15 he plays sports and gets up at 6 to go to school, he goes to bed at 9:00-930 without asking.summer may be alittle later.

Suzi - posted on 06/01/2013

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12 or 13 - circa 10 to 11 pm
After that - it's not your decision. Hard fact of life - one you have to get used to.

JOanne - posted on 04/11/2013

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HI, my rule of thumb in our home is, we all should strive for 8 hrs sleep. It does not always but we try for the majority. Best to go to bed same time as possible nightly and wake up scheduled each day. I guess one of the most important things for kids is sleep as that's when there bodies grow, heal, and most importantly brain are growing as well. Children's brains are not fully developed until approx age 25 years old. Risk taking part of brain area is the last to grow.

Beverly - posted on 03/25/2013

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I had a sister that had three children when I was growing up and at her house bed time for everyone was 8 pm this was all three children and the parents. She wanted them to have a routine. Everybody was up and out of bed by 6 am. You had to stay in bed til 5 am

Jessica - posted on 01/31/2013

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My girls (16 and 20 yrs) still go to bed at 7 pm because they have to do physio therapy

Hermione - posted on 10/09/2012

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I have six kids the ages of 1,3,6,9,12 and 14



1 &3 = bed 7.00pm up 7.00am

6 = bed 7.30pm up 7.00am

9 = bed 8.30-9.00pm up 7.30-8.00am

12 & 14 = bed 9.30-10pm up 8.00am



On weekends my older three can stay up half an hour later and get up half an hour later.

If the older two have had a educationally productive day and have had a good sleep I might allow them to stay over a friends for the night or stay up for a bit.

Ramona - posted on 09/20/2012

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Quite frankly, the older teens should be able to figure what they need without you. My kids go went to bed later, but got up without any issues. They were /are in a million activities, sports and tough classes, so they often were up late finishing homework after a game or late meeting.

Ticy - posted on 09/14/2012

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II have a 17 year old son & my rule use to be for him to be in bed no later than 10:30pm but for your case that would be kind of hard because then the younger kids will want to know why he/she gets to stay up later than they do so to keep down confusion i would say bedtime is @ 10pm for "Everybody".... it helps to keep your kids under control, gives you some quiet mommy time & gives them extra downtime to rest for school the next day... now that my son is in high school come 10:30pm he's asleep I don't have a set bedtime he just knows that if he misses the bus to school the consequences for him will be very hectic be that I don't have a car....

Jillian - posted on 09/03/2012

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i think you should let them go to bed at 11 for the to youngest and what ever the oldest feel like .cuse my 2 oldest just go to bed at 12 cause they know that school wears you out . and do make it so they cant text or call past 9 cause what if they are out past nine having fun then some raper takes your kid . but he only gives your kid one phone call that cant be the police and she or he has to use there own phone . BUT they cant call anyone because you were stupid and made it so they cant call or text past nine . your kid will not live ..... !!!!!!!!!!! and you dont want that to happen to your kid so be a good nice loving mom who dosnt turn phones off past 9 cause thats just shit talk there !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good luck with the sleeping arngments

Jen - posted on 04/08/2012

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My 14 year old goes to bed around 12, sometimes 12:30.



I would do:



12 year old - 10

13 year old - 10:30

16 year old - 12

17 year old - 12:30



I go to bed at 1 or 2.

User - posted on 12/08/2011

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I would say that for 5 and under in bed by 8:00,but that's really for 5 and 4 year olds.Ofcourse,you should set bedtimes from your doctor when kids are within 3 and under.For 6,7, and 8 year olds,no later that 8:30-8:45.And on school nights they should have their homework finished at least an hour before bedtime.It can cause stress and make them sleep deprived when they don't finish their homework or didn't get to study for tomorrrow's test.For 10 and 11 yearv olds,9:00-9:30 is usually good,with the same homework rules.For 12-15 year olds,no later than 10:30.And when they get older than that they might be out late at ngiht but you should still say be home by midnight.Then when they get home say that they cannot communicate with their friends anymore that night(i.e,cellphone,facechats,facebook.)They must do quiet activity until bed.You don't want them talking with their friends after that time just incase their friend's parents are begging them to go to bed.Be sure that the rules that your first born followed for bedtime is what all the other kids do to.Goodnight!

Jeanna - posted on 10/31/2011

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I have my son who is 18 go to bed by 10 o clock my daughter who is 15 I have go to bed by 9 o clock and my daughter who is 11 goes to bed also at 9 o clock. I always tell my two older children that they have an extra half hour but they normally use that time to pick room up or get their things ready for school the next day so by 10:30 p.m. no later is my older ones and by 9 I try to make sure my younger one is in bed she is a bear so I always make sure she is in bed earlier than the other two are.

Dana - posted on 10/29/2011

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I have a DD and two SKs... DD will be 12 in 8 days; she has "ready for bed" by 8p, "quiet time" 'til 9p (school days)/ 930p (weekends/days off school), then lights out. SD is 16 -- "ready for bed" & electronics off is 9p, lights out at 10p (on weekends -- she's not here on school nights). SS (before he turned 18 last year) had same as 16yo does now (hers was 1/2hr earlier at the time). The times & nighttime routines really help. Oh, and their "weekend" routines are what we do for summer time... I don't believe in messing up their schedules that much just because it's summer; too hard on their bodies. We also do not allow them to sleep past 10a; no need if they're going to bed at a reasonable hour. THE ONLY exceptions are if they have a sleepover; I will allow them an extra hour or two, as long as they're in their room & have the lights out, and are whispering.

Ginger - posted on 07/03/2011

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During the school year mine go to bed like this: 17 year old at 11 , 14 year old and 10 year old at 9 - Weekends and summer time they can stay up as late as they can hold out lolol But during the school year their school week starts on Sunday night and ends on Friday morning



Since they have to be up in the morning at 5 am in order to catch the bus by 6, 6:15 and 6:30



I also have a 19 and 24 year old but they create their sleeping schedules and should they end up suffering due to lack of sleep then they know its their own fault... lolol

Savanna - posted on 07/03/2011

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I have 5 kids. These are the times they get up and go to sleep on school nights:

6= bed at 9pm, up at 7am
11= has to be in her room by 11pm, up at 6:45am
13= has to be in his room by 1am, up at 6:30am
15= whenever she feels, up at 6am
17= whenever she feels, up at 6am

Candi - posted on 01/04/2011

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I have 3 kids. 12, 10, and 5. Their bedtime has always been 9. No matter the age. It gives them plenty of time to get things done and they sleep like rocks. My son get up for school at 6:30 and out to the bus at 7:30 and thats when the other 2 get up. My son's boy scout meetings don't end until 8:30 and one of my daughter's dance classes doesn't end until 8:00. so 9 gives them time to bathe and get ready for bed. On Fridays they get to stay up later, but my youngest usually ends up falling asleep by 9. Saturday nights they still go to bed at 9 b/c we get up for church at 7:30. They are fine with the bedtime

Tanisha - posted on 01/04/2011

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Well, i truly understand....I have a 14 year and he thinks tht he should go to bed @ 10p.m. on weekdays and whenever he wants, but he always seems to fall asleep around 10:30 11 pm anyway. So sometimes u have to let them make choices even though they're not good ones because before u kno' it they will be sleep early anyway. Most of the time......

Sherri - posted on 12/04/2010

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For the 12 & 13 yr old I say 9pm for a bedtime. For the 16 & 17yr old I can't say quite yet because mine are 13, 12 & 4 but I am thinking 9:30pm no later then 10pm.

Kristina - posted on 11/30/2010

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I believe that it depends on the child i like to put my 11 1/2 yr old to bed at 8:30 pm and he gets up at 6:00am

Suzie - posted on 11/25/2010

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Your high schollers should be in bed at 10. Your junior high schoolers should be in bed at 9. When my 19 was in high school he went in his room at 9 to get showered and settled in for the night. He could watch t.v., finish up homework, read or what ever. He just could not play video games or talk on the phone that was the time to settle in for the night. it worked his lights were out at 10. My youngest is still in elementary ( I only have 2 children) he goes to bed at 8:30. He startes at 8 to get settled in and then goes to bed. when he goes to junior high next year he will go to bed at 9. Same thing shower and get settled in for the night. Have done this so I can have a little quiet time before I go to bed about 10 or 10:30. God luck.

Kim - posted on 11/25/2010

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My children always went to bed at 9pm no matter how old they are. Now that they are 15 and 13, bed at 9, lights, tv's , radio off by 10pm.

[deleted account]

I more than agree with you! I would make my decision on what time they have to get up for school and if it is a weekend. On the weekends you can allow them to stay up a couple of hours later than the week days. This actually can be a positive for you! If it is a school day, then you want to get them in bed early enough to get 8 hours of sleep. This means If they have to get up at 6 am then have them go to bed around 9 pm, because it usually takes an hour for them to even fall asleep!

Karen - posted on 11/24/2010

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If the ultimate parenting goal is not to control but to teach/instill self-control/self-discipline my view is--as long as the child is not displaying signs of sleep deprivation, bedtimes at these ages can be somewhat self-directed- within limitations EXAMPLE:. house rule-everyone must have lights out by 10:30P or something of that nature. Children are also creatures of habit. What I mean by that is, barring any undetected issues, if they are still physically active during /after school, are accustom to going to bed at specific times since they were younger it's likely their bodies will become tired near that same bed-time even as they age.



Keep in mind research on tv watching and other similarly stimulating activities (games/chatting/social networking etc..) has shown to be addicting, will impact your child's ability to get into a rested state.



Remember we will not always be around to monitor bedtime so the sooner they develop strong self-direction/self discipline the better off they will be when they are in college or otherwise on their own. Got a questions? Ask Johnson and Johnson http://askthejohnsons.fanbridge.com/

[deleted account]

Nice to hear from you. I have four children as well, close to the ages of your children (17, 16, 12 and 10). Bedtime for my 10 and 12 year old is 9:30pm, and my son who is 16 puts himself to bed at 10:00pm. My 17 year old, however, is different. We have tried to force her bedtime to be before 11:00pm, but there has been many nights we have found her up til 1:00am either chatting on facebook or doing homework. Teenagers do not sleep as well as kids do. We have made the rule, after much aggrevation (we have even taken her door off of her bedroom and the lights out of the room) that she can go to bed whenever she wants but she has to get up on time for school. We take away the laptop and phone before 11:00pm. She has managed to put herself to bed each night. Good luck with your bedtimes. Each child is different with their sleep patterns. Treat each one different when deciding.

Michelle - posted on 11/23/2010

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Wow in surprised by these late times. I have my 12 yo in bed by 8-30pm and he sleeps through till 7 -
7-30am....I believe kids are kids and still need plenty of sleep. I also have a 3 and 5 year old and their beds are around 8pm...
Kids do still need a lot more sleep and i see that with my 12 yo if he does not....

Laura - posted on 11/19/2010

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Studies have shown that teens are often sleep-deprived in school from staying up late and getting up early. Recommendations for teenagers' sleep is, believe it or not, approximately 10 hours a night. I suggest counting backwards from the time they wake up to determine what ten hours of sleep would be (as the optimal bedtime) then negotiate from there. The oldest kids should at least be given a 30 minute later time than the younger ones; they are older and later bedtimes are a privelege. My 12 year old goes to bed between 9 - 9:30 on school nights. If the younger kids go to bed between 9 and 9:30, then the older ones should then be in bed by 10:00 pm., as an example. Hope this helps and good luck!

Theresa - posted on 11/19/2010

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I would say for the 17 and 16 - 10:00 would be a good time. For the 13 and 12 - 9 or 9:30. It depends when they have to get up in the morning. My junior heigher has to be up by 6AM so he's goes to bed at 8:30. My high schooler (who was in jr high last year and went to bed at 8:30) doesn't have to get up until 7:15 now, so he goes to bed between 9:30 AND 10. He's in the basement, so I really don't know if he goes to bed at that time or not. He comes and says good night about 9:30ish, but I know he reads once he's in bed. I figure as long as he can get up fine for school and not be tired all day I don't really need to woory about it.

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