What time should kids go to bed?

[deleted account] ( 187 moms have responded )

Specifically, what time should an 11 year old go to bed? Up until recently my 11yr old was going to bed at 8.30pm on a school night until i mentioned this to a friend and she said this is way to early for a 11yr old! Her 11yr old goes to bed whenever she wants. Another friend says 8.30 is too early, he should be going at 9.30. My son says all his friends at school go at 10pm. But i worry that hes not getting enough sleep for school I don't mind at weekends,how much sleep do 11yr olds need?? What time should kids go to bed?

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Leslie - posted on 05/25/2012

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i have 4 kids at home and i get them in bed between 8:30 to 9pm every night nomatter if its the weekend or even the summer, kids need their rest .......

Bballfan145 - posted on 05/22/2012

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I have a 12-year-old daughter, and I believe it's right to do whatever you feel like doing. She is forced to go to bed at 8:00, with lights off after reading time at 8:30. I know this is an earlier bedtime than most kids in her grade (7th; she has a summer birthday), which go to bed at around 9:00 or 10:00, but keep in mind it also depends when they wake up. She wakes up at 5:00 (about an hour earlier than most middle school students do) and she is not generally tired unless she stays up until around 9:00 to do extra homework. By my calculations, she is getting approximately 81/2 hours per night, but she is also an early riser, and the latest she can sleep on weekends is like 6:30 (if gone to bed by 8:30), so it really depends on the individual and your needs/rules.

Gina - posted on 05/13/2012

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Hello Sarah, Happy Mother's Day!!1

If you child is out of bed early 6:30am or 7:00am and going to school, should be able to sending to bed with out problem at 8:15pm, so by 8:30 ot 8:40pm he is already sleeping.
If you, still enyoing reading to him or just talk about his day at school for a while, then will be later. See? that's all depends of your personal opinion and time. Besides he might need some extra time for hard homework. (????)
Remember you are the mother and not your friends. YOU MAKE THE RULES!!!!!
NO YOUR FRIENDS or YOUR CHILD.
Children do need to sleelp 11 hours before the they turn 13- then 9hrs all the way to Highschool.
Remember the body changes (hormones), they will be extran tired, plus they have homework. Only you can understand your child behavior (from the time he gets up, until he goes to bed)
Las thing, if you child doesn't have any tests the next day of school, you might want to praise him with extra time (?) your decision.

Good Luck!!!!!!

Julie - posted on 05/13/2012

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As my daughter is only 6 1/2, I most certainly don't want to come across as a know-it-all on the subject of bedtime for an 11-year-old. I'll get there soon enough. But the 10 hour rule of thumb seems to be a good starting point. If I remember right, the recommendations for 6 year olds is 10-11 hours a day. Mine has to get up at about 6:15, so I try to get her to bed between 8-8:30. Thankfully, she is a very good sleeper, and drops off within moments of lights out. So she gets about 10 hours of nighttime sleep. But she seems to be one of the kids who need a bit extra, and often takes a short nap in the afternoon as well. If she claims to not be tired at afternoon nap time, I still encourage her to have a bit of time alone and quiet in her room, even if she does not sleep. With as much energy as she expends on dancing, jumping, twirling, and chattering non-stop, I figure she and I both need that bit of quiet time. :)

Rhiannon - posted on 04/13/2012

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It all depends on the child, my daughter is 10 and on school nights she goes up to bed between 7 and 7.30. I tried letting her stay up later but she was tired and grumpy the next day (it turns out she plays in bed for around an hour and so was not going to sleep until alot later). She tells me her friends stay up later but either they go straight to sleep or they don@t need as much sleep as my daughter does.

We get up at 6am on weekdays. On fridays and saturdays she stays up until around half 9.

Sharon - posted on 04/09/2012

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An 11 year old needs 10 hours of sleep per night. This is information received from the pediatrics recommended sleep list. No matter what your child may say, he/she needs 10 hours. An 11 year old still needs a parent to be in charge.

Jen - posted on 04/08/2012

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My 8 year olds (girls) are encouraged to go to bed around 9 or 9:30, and my 14 year old (girl) around 11:30 or 12. I assume an 11-year-old would be somewhere in the middle, so maybe 10:30. (I note that you started this thread 2 years ago.)



I believe that earlier than 9 for any age besides infants is outrageous and I feel sorry for the kids. When will they have time to have any fun? My older daughter gets home from school around 3:30 and eats a snack, and then does homework and studies until around 5:30 or 6, and then does chores until 6:30. Usually at that time she has extracurriculars, and then our family eats dinner at 7:30 or 8:30. (Sometimes extracurriculars and homework is switched.) If we finish eating by 9, then I usually give her a couple hours to wind down and relax before getting ready for bed. If I made her go to sleep at 8:30, she would have to go to bed before the family even ate dinner sometimes!

Sharon - posted on 04/08/2012

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My daughter's school has a big sign on the entrance door stating the age and hours of sleep n needed. A child 11 years old needs 10 hours of sleep and 8:30 PM is bed time.

Heather - posted on 04/07/2012

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My 12 year old goes to bed at 830 or 900 on school nights, unless its dance night. Dont go by what others say you know, your child how they act in the morning, my girls need more sleep, I say 900 is a good time, but only you know your child.

Lisa - posted on 04/07/2012

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It really depends on your child. Some children do not require as much sleep as others. Try a later bedtime and watch for signs of tiredness. My children have to go to bed by 8:30 during the school week. I have a 13 year old and 10 year old. If my 13 year old goes to bed past 8:30 she gives us a hard time getting up at 6 in the am. She can stay up later on the week-ends.

Dana - posted on 04/06/2012

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OMG I AM 11!!! and i go to bed at 10:00 it is a little late, but American Idol ends at 10:00 here and i LOVE it. Some kids go to bed earlier or later depending on how bussy they are, like what time their shows end, how long it takes for them to take a shower, if they like to read at night, or if they like to play on the computer for a while. So it depends on what they like to do. And i don't hink you should force your kids to go to bed because, they will know when they are ready to go into bed. if they are tyred they will go to bed. A tip for getting your child to bed is to not let them watch tv as much at night. I am 11, and i go to bed at 10:00 and get up at 6:10, yeah im tyred in the morning, but that is my fault if i choose not to go to bed. Hope this helped!

Kay - posted on 04/01/2012

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We have "quiet time" from 8.30am then send her to bed by 9.30 ..... but she is often awake in bed until after 11-12pm. We live next to school so get up after 8am every day so I don't think some 11 year olds need as much as others - she hasn't slept 12 hour nights since she was about 7 or 8 years old

Katie - posted on 03/31/2012

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I know 'Ferber' is considered a dirty word in a lot of circles, but I would recommend reading his book, 'solve your child's sleep problems'. He has chapters on how much sleep children should get at any given age (he says just shy of 10 hrs for 11 yr olds) based on research. Sometimes it is not aparent that a child is sleep deprived until after the sleep problem has been corrected and behavioral and other health issues spontaneously resolve. The book has a lot of really useful information on how to successfully move bedtimes. If you move bedtime suddenly your child will not be able to adjust and might act out. It is better to move a bedtime forward or back in 15 minute increments per day until you reach the desired time. I can't say enough good things about Dr. Ferber's book, it is so much more than a controlled crying manual.

[deleted account]

My 11 year old gets into bed at 8:30 and reads for 30 minutes and then light's out is at 9:00. The kids and I think it's reasonable ;)

Erica - posted on 03/19/2012

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My daughter is 10 and I usually have her in bed by 9:15 and then she can read, watch TV, or play on her iPod until 9:45. Then I make her turn off the lights and try to sleep. She isn't a good sleeper. She'd rather stay up late so that's why her bed time is late. She also doesn't have to wake up until 7:45 in the morning.

Ruth - posted on 03/15/2012

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Different kids need different amounts of sleep. My kids are aged 5-8, and they still go to bed routinely at 7, 7:30. The 3 of them sleep in the same room, my 6 yr old is asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow, and the 5yo and 8yo chat a bit, and fall asleep in their own time. They have to be up between 5:30 and 6,



If there is a reason for them to stay up later, (the 2 older ones have swimming lessons once a week until 8), they do. But then they are really tired and grumpy the next day.



One of my friends said that her 13 yr old twins approached her one day and asked if they could delay their bedtime ("PLEEEEASE, Mum) until 8, as she had them going to bed at 7 even at that age!

SHERRI - posted on 02/25/2012

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Until I was 15 I had to got to bed at 9 even in the summer. I think 10 is a good time and 12 in the summer. We need time to ourself at some point so 930 or 10 is a good time. My 15yr old goes to bed at 10pm and is up on her own at 630 with tones of engery to start her day.

Helen - posted on 02/21/2012

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Hi - I agree - I think I read somewhere that kids that age need 10 hours of sleep - I find if my 10 year old gets too little sleep her behavior is not as good as if she gets enough sleep!

Helen - posted on 02/21/2012

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Hi - I agree - I think I read somewhere that kids that age need 10 hours of sleep - I find if my 10 year old gets too little sleep her behavior is not as good as if she gets enough sleep!

Maggie - posted on 02/16/2012

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I am having a similar problem with my 14 year old. He has to get up at 6.15 every morning for school. He is in school until 3pm then has football he gets home about half 5 then has dinner and does homework. He is usually wrecked. At the moment he gets into his pyjamas at 8 and is usually asleep by quarter to 9. At weekends he has to be in his pyjamas at half 8 and is normally asleep about half 9 or 10. Are these good bedtimes for him?

[deleted account]

I've read through the years of posts and, the answer is most likely, "It Depends".

Studies show that kids up to about age 13 (and still older) need about 10 hours of sleep to really be able to function. This means that if your child has to get up at 6am for school (like mine), then 8pm is bedtime.



The other part of "It Depends", is the child. If I make my child go to sleep at 8pm, she will be up at 5:30am. Because she doesn't need that much sleep. After some trial and error, with the 6am wake up, 8:30pm is our target.



Be consistent and the kids will respond. Also, some studies have shown that if you turn off the electronics and tv about an hour before bedtime, they will fall asleep more quickly and sleep more soundly.

Lily - posted on 02/07/2012

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My niece, Lottie, is 11 she goes to bed at 10pm on week nights and when ever she wants on weekend as long as it's before 1:15am she didn't like staying up on her own so she manly goes to bed when the adult members go on weekends!

Kristin - posted on 01/17/2012

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My 12 year old goes to bed at 8 pm.

To allow 11-12 year old children to stay up later, is quite wrong. Children need their bedtime

Stephanie - posted on 01/16/2012

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my 11yr old is 12 in 3 months time he goes to bed at 8pm and is aloud to watch the tv till 8.30 on a school nyt in the holidays or wknd he goes at half 8 and is ok to watch the tv till 10 maybe a bit later if he watching a film i think this is late enough for them at the end of the day they are still only children and they need their sleep. my nieces and nephew are aloud to stay up till they want to no matter what nyt it is and i find them rude and selfish naggy and tired looking all the time where as my son is constantly getting high marks in school he attitude is impectable ive not yet had any body say a bad word about his behaviour i believe that this is down to him having enough sleep and not being aloud to do what he wants when he wants like most children i know my son respects me for the way we are with him and knows that we do this because we love him and dont want him tired (i dont think i cud cope with a stroppy teen) so making sure they get enough sleep now is our job as parents after all it wont be long b4 they make theie own minds up and spent most of the nyts partying. :)

Sarah - posted on 01/15/2012

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I would say 11:00 atleast 8 hrs. of sleep:) but depends on what time they get up atleast 8 - 81/2 hrs. of sleep.

Jen - posted on 12/07/2011

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8:30 is definitely early in my opinion. My children haven't been going to bed that early since they were in Kindergarten. My 8-year-olds currently go to bed around 10:00-10:30, or 11:00 on weekends. Their school starts at 8, and they wake up around 7:30. My 14-year-old goes to bed whenever she feels tired, provided that this doesn't cause an issue. She usually goes to bed near the same time I go to bed - so around 12-1. Her school starts at 8:30 but she also wakes up at 7:30. On weekends she can stay up as long as she wants.

Deanna - posted on 11/27/2011

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My 11 year old goes to bed at 930 but I have sent him to bed at nine if he is really tired or is going to be really busy the next day. We changed his bed time from 9 to 930 this school year under the stipulation that if he had problems with getting up for school his bed time would go back to 9

Michelle - posted on 11/27/2011

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My daughter's bedtime was 7:30pm all the way through primary school. Now she is in her first year of high school (she turned 13 a couple of weeks) ago her bedtime is 8:30pm, and 9:30pm on Friday and Saturday nights. During the school week she really needs at least a good 9 or 10 hours sleep so that she can function at school properly. She take a while to go to sleep, as she over thinks things in her mind. Her body might be screaming to go to sleep, but her mind is racing and not wanting to shut off. As she has to wake around 6:30am to leave for school by 7:30am she has to get a decent sleep. I don't think that 8:30pm on school nights is too early or unreasonable.

Jen - posted on 11/26/2011

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I would say it depends on the child and their sleep needs. My son is 11. His bed time is 9:30 this year, he probably actually gets to sleep about 10 and I wake him up at 7 in the morning. For him this is enough sleep. The way I know that is because on the weekends when I don't wake him up he is still up bright and early. He usually seems rested in the morning and has plenty of energy through out the day.

My 9-year -old is a different story. Like me she needs more sleep. She sleeps in on weekends and will put herself to bed sometimes because she is tired. She normally goes to bed at 8:30. She is younger but I think she is also just a person who needs more sleep.

I think between 9-10 is a normal bedtime for an 11-year-old. But it also depends on what time he needs to get up for school, and how much sleep he needs to feel good! :)

Anne - posted on 11/23/2011

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i'd be interested to know that answer as well as my 11 year old son wont sleep when i send him to bed at 8:30 either but is a bugger to get up at 630 for a 730 start to school ( i'm in the northern territory and school starts at 8am here) up till last year i sent him to bed at 730 ( after home and away) he was a lot easier to get up then ... now he is grumpy and gets headaches at school



did i forget to mention that he has DYSPRAXIA so any change to his routine is a no no at the moment we have so many changes to his routine as we have moved states and schools and friends and are staying in a caravan park at the moment so this means he is staying awake til my sister and i go to sleep i am also worrying that when we get into our new home he wont be going to sleep without one of us in his bed or at least in his room

the cat has been nasty and no longer wants to sleep with my son since we moved ( due to cat runnning away at last minute it took us 3 weeks to get organized to get him up north ) so cat has lost bond with son and little puppy is trying to take over as big boss of van i have been sending him to bed at 8:30 EVERYNIGHT weekday and weeknight as well just to try to keep him in a routine but i have had to change my bedtime routine now to 9pm so he will sleep ( not that i'm complaining about the extra sleep ) but its put my routine right out the door any suggestion?????? thanks ANNE

Kristen - posted on 10/30/2011

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I have a 15 year old, a 12 year old and a 9 year old and they all go to bed at 8:30 and get up for school at 5:30. All three of them do very well on 9 hours of sleep. My 9 year old could probably use a little more, but for the most part it works out well. I don't really care about what time my kids friends go to bed, it all depends on my kids attitudes and performance at school that tells me how much sleep they need. If I see that they need more sleep, they go to bed earlier for a night or two.

Dana - posted on 10/29/2011

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My daughter's pediatrician says 10-12yo need about 9-10 hours. I think 830p on a school night for an 11 year old is perfectly acceptable (and - I know this is judgmental, but - what kind of parent allows their 11yo to stay up 'til whenever on a school night?!?!).

Sarah - posted on 10/27/2011

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Well try him on diffrent bedtimes, for example get him to go to bed at 9:00 for about a week. if he is to tired then keep him on his bedtime but if hes fine 9:00 is fine my cousin has an 11 year old and he goes to bed at around 9:30 so hope this helps!:)

Triwan - posted on 09/21/2011

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Well the obvious is atleast 8 hours, however if the child shows signs of still being tired, not wanting to get up and/or sluggish at school then that says that 8 hours was not enough sleep for that particular child and an adjustment is needed i.e. earlier bedtime for more hours of sleep. Play with it as each child is different. My son used to require 10 hours to be awake and alert in the mornings now at 14, he gets 9, lol.

[deleted account]

I dropped the "official" bed time policy about six months ago, when I noticed that my son was monitoring his own bed time, by going to bed earlier or asking to stay up later depending on how sleepy HE felt. He's 11 and bed time was 9. Now, we have more of a quiet time, where somewhere around 9-9:30 he still needs to go to his room where he can read or watch some t.v. until he is sleepy, then he goes to sleep (video games are not allowed during this time). I've noticed that left to his on devices on a school night, he doesn't make it much past 9:30 and sometimes turns in closer to 8:30, depending on whether or not he had a track meet after school that day. On the weekends he may stay up until 11 or 12. It's nice because it offers him so controlled freedom and it eliminates the need for me to nag. :)

Marcie - posted on 09/19/2011

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I put my 11 year old son to bed at 8, because he is also ADHD, I feel he needs his time to calm down and relax.

Michelle - posted on 09/19/2011

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I have 2 boys aged 7 + 11. Both have lights out by 8pm on a school night + 2 or 3 mornings i have to get them out of bed at half past 7! At weekends they are allowed to stay up for a dvd so usually 10 or 11pm. They still get up at 8 am though!

Stephanie - posted on 09/18/2011

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My 11 year old goes to bed at 8 and is asleep before 9. Later bedtimes just o not work for him because he gets really wound up and restless.

Laurie - posted on 09/16/2011

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now that my daughter is in middle school I changed her bedtime to 9pm (so she gets to stay up 30 minutes later than her younger sister). she has to get up very early for school so any later than that and she is dragging all day. weekends are a different story though...think I need to get more consistent with that! good luck...

Christe - posted on 09/15/2011

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My 9yr old son is in bed by 10 at the latest. If he is tired he will go to bed sooner. But most of the time 9:30 is lights out. He wakes up early too. Mostly @ 6, but sometimes even 5:30. He likes to set his own clock so I let him and then I wake to make sure he's up. I have no clue how he does it but he doesn't need sleep like I do. LOL!

Kathy - posted on 09/11/2011

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9, that is a good time for in bed and reading, 8:30 making sure they are ready for bed snacks done teeth brushed then 1/2 hour for reading then lights out.
My daughter 12 same routine but she is now up reading till 10, if she starts having a hard time getting up in the morning she will be having lights out at 9:30 again.
Do not let other peers steer you away from your own decisions, because what comes next ??? you decide and keep to your rules no matter what others say or think it is your house and you are boss, make sure your little ones know that.

Sarah - posted on 09/10/2011

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9:00 on week days and 9:30 weekends his friends prob. are very tired and cranky....

Klara - posted on 07/07/2011

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I personally think different people need different amounts of sleep. What time children should go to bed depends also on what time they have to get up. Our girls go to bed at 8pm, but our older one is allowed to read and/or do homework for about an hr. before lights out. If a child functions well on 8-9 hrs. great. If a child doesn't do well w/o 11 hrs., then things need to be adjusted. I would ask your pediatrician and set the bedtime according to sleep needs, NOT what everyone else does.

Jennie - posted on 07/06/2011

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Kids should go to bed at whatever time their parents set for them! No matter what their friends or peers bedtime is. I have 4 children. 16, 15, 9 and 7. My 16 and 15 year old need to be in their rooms by 9pm on a school night, with tv/lights/computers off by 10. My youngest ones go upstairs at 730 on a school night. Their TV goes off at 8. They will do that until they begin 9th grade. It is just the way that it is in our house.

I know how much sleep my kids need. And every child is different. My neighbor has 2 children,9 and 11. They are usually still up at 9:30 on a school night. They have always asked me why my little ones go to bed so early? I explain to them, that I know how my children act in the am if they have not gotten enough sleep the night before. And in the summer, my youngest stay up until 10.

Teresa - posted on 07/06/2011

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I have an 11 year old and he goes to bed at 9. A little later in the summer.



I do allow him to read in his room til he falls asleep.

Klara - posted on 07/07/2011

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I personally think different people need different amounts of sleep. What time children should go to bed depends also on what time they have to get up. Our girls go to bed at 8pm, but our older one is allowed to read and/or do homework for about an hr. before lights out. If a child functions well on 8-9 hrs. great. If a child doesn't do well w/o 11 hrs., then things need to be adjusted. I would ask your pediatrician and set the bedtime according to sleep needs, NOT what everyone else does.

Suzanne - posted on 01/11/2010

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I have two boys, 10 and soon to be 13. Bedtime for them both is 8:30pm because they share a room. We start the process at 8pm and more nights than not they are fully asleep by 9pm. Most mornings they are up at 6am, on their own, ready to take on the day. There are times they'll sleep in and I have to wake them at 7am to get ready for school. So I think the bedtime is working for their bodies, minds and soul. We've figured out what time our kids should go to bed. They can stay up as late as they want to on the weekends...rule is they have to keep it quiet after 10pm and turn off anything left on before falling asleep. Usually they'll both be asleep by 11pm. I like the earlier bedtime not only for what it does for the boys, but also that it gives me and hubby at least an hour of uninterrupted time together.

Sandy - posted on 12/30/2009

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What time should kids go to bed?

My 12 year old son gose to bed at 9pm on school night.10 is to late.

Laura - posted on 12/30/2009

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Quoting Artriani:

after reading all these replies, it makes me wonder, am i a bad mom? or a too ignorance mom? what time SHOULD kids go to bed? Because both my kids, 12 & 8 go to bed at 10. That's the time when i tell them to go to bed, means they still have to do stuffs to get ready to bed, so they will be asleep at 10.30 or even 11 pm, almost every night on their school night. Their school's time is at 7 am, so they have to be ready for school at 6.30. Thank god i never have difficulties in waking them up, & they never complaint of lack of sleep or anything. I hope what i've been doing all these time to let them go to sleep too late, would not having any bad effects on them in the future. But these replies make me reconsidering my decision to let them stay up too late every night.



Thank goodness - I also was wondering - how bad of a mom am I? There is no way in the world I would get my 10 and 12 year old in bed at 8:30. I shoot for 9:30 but usually by the time we get through the nighttime stuff and they settle in for the night, it is closer to 10:00. they are well rested for school and don't have problems waking up, so I am not concerned about it.

Dora - posted on 12/30/2009

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My experience based on my three children is that each individual child has different amount of sleep needs. There is no set rule on what time kids should go to bed. My eldest, a teenager, can function with less sleep for a day; my second teenager needs more sleep than bears going through hybernation and my 10 year old should be in bed by 9:00. This doesn't always happen but if he's in bed by 9:00, he's definitely a happier and better behaving child at school. I feel it's an individual schedule. Most kids will use their friends as the example of the time they should go to bed and as parents we can fall in that trap but we need to do what we think is best for our own child. I have a bedtime for my teenagers also. Between 10:00 and 10:30 max, they should be in their beds. They too complain that their friends are allowed to go to bed when they want.....my answer is: This is our home and that it their home and schedule. Accept it or go and live in their home with a new set of parents. They always back down and consider the positives they have at home.

Ginny - posted on 12/29/2009

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I was having the same problem determining what time kids should go to bed, but after months of trying different times, I find that sending him to bet at 9:30 and letting him read til 10 that he is getting enough sleep. I wake him for school at 7 and he seems to less grumpy than before...lol. Sometimes he's tired that he goes right to sleep at 9:30 anyway. They need at LEAST 8-9 hours to keep up with their growth spurts. Never allow them to set their own times. They are still children and they need rules to follow. It may not make you the popular mom, but hey, that's not why we became moms, right ? As for what his friends say, they are probably lying to "save face". Hope this helps......

Artriani - posted on 12/13/2009

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after reading all these replies, it makes me wonder, am i a bad mom? or a too ignorance mom? what time SHOULD kids go to bed? Because both my kids, 12 & 8 go to bed at 10. That's the time when i tell them to go to bed, means they still have to do stuffs to get ready to bed, so they will be asleep at 10.30 or even 11 pm, almost every night on their school night. Their school's time is at 7 am, so they have to be ready for school at 6.30. Thank god i never have difficulties in waking them up, & they never complaint of lack of sleep or anything. I hope what i've been doing all these time to let them go to sleep too late, would not having any bad effects on them in the future. But these replies make me reconsidering my decision to let them stay up too late every night.

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