Whats the secret to get a preteen to take a shower everyday without a battle insuing

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Davishia - posted on 12/05/2012

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I thought mine was the only one that sat on toilet with shower running! Lol!

Michelle - posted on 10/31/2009

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My daughter has the same problem. She doesnt like taking showers. But I make her take them. If she doesnt then I remind her that kids will make fun of her, because she will stink, and if she doenst take one that she will be grounded. I dont want kids to make fun of her so i do what i can to make sure that her shower is taken. I try to make sure she takes it before she goes to bed. Sometimes we run out of time for her to take on at night, so she has to take one in the morning before school. I tell her that I can tell if she took on or not because of her hair. I told her that I have no problem in grounding her. I try to explain why it is important to be clean!

Michelle - posted on 10/14/2009

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cant help but laugh.. My son is the same way!! If I dont remind him a hundred times he just wont shower.. but I try to make in routine... home from school, homework, snack...etc.. chores!! He must have shower done before dinner time.. and if not.. no tv that evening

Jodi - posted on 10/11/2009

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Just make it part of the routine without question. I have 12 and 10 year old boys (so therefore pre-teen), and part of our evening routine is that at 5:30-6pm every day, they have showers while we cook dinner (the other kids do too, but I just wanted to let you know about the pre-teens). I prefer showers in the evening because the boys get a little "stinky" after their running around all day, LOL :)



You didn't mention whether boy or girl, but this should help either way. Change the evening routine a little, and incorporate this into it. Also make sure you explain to them why it is important, and even introduce something 'adult' like deodorant and a loofah, shower gels, etc (both our boys now have their own deodorant and shower gel and enjoy this part of having their shower because it makes them feel very grown up!)

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Angie - posted on 12/04/2012

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im having this very same problem. my 16 year old takes 20 min showers and my 6 year old loves to shower too.. but then there is the 13 year old. :(



Im a step mom, and while he was at his birth moms house he contracted some serious cases of ring worm and jock itch. i know. :( we took him to the dr, got the cream and the Dr. told him the importances of hygene.. but when we got home.. it was back to the same thing. hes not showering and doesnt care about the itch, or the ring worm..



I have to pry him out of bed, literally rip the covers off of him in the morning.. and beg him to get into the shower.. well his older brother had to get into the bathroom to grab a comb, and found the 13 year old sitting on the toilet fully dressed, with the shower running.



I dont know what to do... im trying to repair the damage their mom did to these boys (she ran off with her online boyfriend and didnt tell anyone. just up and moved when they were at our house for their weekend visit) Try to take care of three children whom i love so very much but am just out of options.



weve done the .. you have to shower with your younger brother deal.. bought him his own products, taken away TV time, phone, x box and what not.. im totally out of options.

[deleted account]

I had this same problem so I made her start showering with me and she got tired of sharing the water so she does it on her own now everyday!

Sue - posted on 08/31/2011

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My older son was easy. He said he was tired in 1st hr science, so i said it would help him wake up if he showered in the morning. Now he's in 11 grade taking a shower before he goes out all the time and after he works out. I did the same thing for my next son.

Now as for my daughter, nothing seems to work except for taking away her cell phone or not letting her leave the house until all her chores and personal grooming are done. Its no bed of roses, she still tries to get away with it by saying, how does my hair look? or i'll take one tomorrow, etc. I gotta be right on top of her.. if she doesnt want to do something she tries to get away with out doing it. Having said that, she is a very happy well adjusted 7th grader!!

Valarie - posted on 03/26/2011

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I don't get it either. My daughter says it is so boring to take a shower? I just tell my kids to get in and wash their hair and their butt and get out if nothing else. My main reason for them showering everyday is I don't know what kind of habits they have when the use the toilet and I my daughter has oily hair and it looks like yuck if she doesn't wash it daily which is causing acne. I do let them go on the weekends Fri/Sat without showering IF we are not going anywhere and IF they are reasonably clean.

Tina - posted on 03/25/2011

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Ohh this was a good read! I have a 11 y.o. son that I have a great relationship with (he has me crackin’ up laughing more often than not) but that darling child of mine could care less about his hygiene and it makes me nuts! I’ve tried the Axe body wash and shampoo and yeah, that worked for about a stinkin’ WEEK (pun intended)! I would prefer that he take showers every night because he is very active in sports year-round but it is such a battle (I swear he can debate with the best of them) that I conceded to every other night. BUT then that little goober started working what I would kindly refer to as my “single mommy with two kids overwhelmed and overworked memory” and would say things like “but I took one last night..don’t you remember?” HAHAHA little scammer….”no you didn’t because when you’ve showered, I see your bottles on the window ledge instead of back in the shower caddy!” lol Then one night I noticed that after his shower, I didn’t catch a wiff of that delicious smelling Axe body wash (the yellow snake peel is mommy’s favorite) so I reached out to sniff his hand and nope…nothing…nada. That handsome child of mine stood in the shower and figured that he was clean because “mom, I let the hot water run over me.” Are ya serious dude? Really??? So then I tried the whole hygiene speech about how “it’s not good for your skin because it can lead to acne and you’re becoming a young man and will soon grow what I refer to as “shrubbery” and good personal hygiene is just a necessity…you will stink if you’re not cleaning yourself AND using deodorant every day” and I even added on the part about “the girls won’t like a guy that is funky” (yeah, I was that desperate) but all my attempts have been unsuccessful. Then really the girls aren’t helping me here because when I went that route (even mentioning how he doesn’t even care to match his clothing which is #2 on my list of what makes me crazy lol) his response was “I don’t care, they still come around so it must not bother them.” WHAT THE HECK??? Are our young ladies lowering their standards to the point that they will take a smelly guy over a clean one??? (Mental note to myself about having a talk with my daughter about having good standards for the guys you date!) Anyway, I’ve also tried telling him about being the “smelly kid” but it goes over his head. However, after hearing all of your stories, I’m thinking that’s not going to work anyway because apparently this is an age where they don’t care, so they’re all probably just thinking “why should I worry about people calling me the smelly kid when we ALL are sitting here funky??” lol
Oh and it doesn’t stop there! Let’s talk about the reminders to use deodorant and brushing his teeth every day….ughh…never mind…I don’t want to talk about it…I have about an hours worth left to my sanity and I don’t want to use it up telling you about a battle that I’ve partially won. I say partially because in order to document that in the WIN column, I have to remind him of the task! LOL
Well I knew I wasn’t the only one with a kid like this but hearing your stories has given me hope that maybe he’ll grow out of it and coming from a mommy who has to take a shower every night, coordinates my outfits from my earrings right down to my shoes and makes sure to spray a bit of perfume before I leave the house….I sure hope he grows out of it soon because we are clashing! hahahahaha :-)

Deanna - posted on 10/30/2009

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We just made it a routine. Working around their schedules. In our house Sat, Wed, and Fri are shower days. No arguments. We tell them you need to shower before bed it is up to you when. If they still haven't showered at supper then we set a time at the dinner table they will shower and usually isn't an arguement.

Kelly - posted on 10/29/2009

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I agree with the shower NOT every day. I don't even shower everyday if I haven't worked out. I know if it much better for my hair if I don't wash it everyday.

Kelly

Kelly - posted on 10/29/2009

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Hi, I have the same trouble. She simply isn't interested. Now she has to take showers twice a day because of her pneumonia (she was just released from the hospital). Maybe that will help her get in the routine of a shower. My daughter also isn't interested in fancy clothes, make-up, fixing hair, etc. I'm not worried about that part, but she definitely needs a shower frequently. My 10 year old son now needs deodorant too. It's hard to get him in the had.

Desirea - posted on 10/28/2009

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To be totally honest, the way I've done it is to just get them accustomed to taking one every night no matter what.. now my youngest who is a few months shy of 12 is the hardest, he is lazy and unmotivated and sometimes its almost a fight to get him to go up there. I realized at one point that he wasnt actually washing his hair n stuff and he's in full blown 'stinky boy' puberty stage, so I started embarrassing him by checking up on him to see if he was doing it.. smelling his hair etc to make sure he smelled like soap LOL That put a start to him using shampoo real quick. My oldest on the other hand prefers now to get his shower before school when he wakes up but he's into girls in a big way now so remembers to use deodorant and keep himself tidy. I also make sure that they have their own products to use with their own smells and let them pick them out themselves so that they feel grown up and are more inclined to use them

Dawn - posted on 10/28/2009

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I make it part of his routine. Everynight after dinner is shower time for him. Then he stinks up the house with Axe. But I also tell him it is a prevention against getting sick. Especially because it's flu season.

Holly - posted on 10/27/2009

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I sat my 12 yr old down and simply had a hygeine talk. We talked about basics and how important it is to her own self to bath. Then I set the rules down with agreement being the goal. You take your bath ... before you watch tv for the night or no tv. You take your bath before dinner or no dinner until you bath... if there is a sleep over pending.. you take your bath before a sleep over happens or no sleep over.. Etc. I made the behavior an effort that became worthy of reward. My compromise to limit her was an early bed time after dinner if she refused to bath for the night, no sleep overs or no tv. I kicked the tires on this attempt and so far it is working out well for week 3. My next goal is face washing... for reduction of those hormone acne spots. She won't be happy but if I work out the same deal... showing her a reward for her efforts I'm sure she won't mind following throuhg.. the biggest thing was making her part of the decision process for limits with reason to make her feel like she had a weigh in. I simply directed the conversation, set the rule and provide follow through for good or bad results.



Good luck to you.

Christina - posted on 10/25/2009

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This is cracking me up. My son is a stinky 11 year old who very recently started showering everyday. When I asked what was going on. He told me that his teacher told him that 6th graders stink and they all needed to start showering daily.

I am not sure about the rest of the class but my son took her very serious. After all of our effort something so simple... LOL

[deleted account]

When someone at school says something about him/her stinking or when they finally get interested in the opposite sex they'll do it on their own, no problem. Many kids don't really NEED to shower daily anyway.

Kisha - posted on 10/17/2009

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I had the same problem with my son...until he started noticing girls. Now I can't keep him out of the bathroom. I think you just need to stay on your child and trust me, as soon as there is a girl that peeks his interest. He will want to take a shower without being told

Suzi - posted on 10/17/2009

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Hi Anne! I'm the mom of an 11yo boy and up until a couple months ago, I had the exact same problem : ) Then he discovered that girls actually DON'T have cooties and what do ya know, he showers every day with no hassle (LOL) But before this milestone occurred, I used to try and make things a little less hostile by offering a couple of acceptable options like..."You can take a shower tonight or I can wake you up a little early tomorrow morning to take it, what's your choice?" It didn't completely eliminate the problem, but it did make him feel like he was able to have some form of choice which de-escalated the battle a bit... Good Luck!

Arline - posted on 10/16/2009

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Spray them with some perfume they hate then they will take a shower so they dont smell like the perfume.Works the best on boys.

Theresa - posted on 10/16/2009

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Have he/she shower at night before free time, you can say if you want your free time then you need to shower now, if they refuse to shower at night then tell them you will have to wake them early for a morning shower. You know how kids love to slepp during the week lol

Joan - posted on 10/16/2009

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Raylyinn Quinn sent the best answer yet!!!! Tell him you will get in with him and wash him like a baby....i love it!!!

Cindy - posted on 10/16/2009

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My son is a teen and if he doesn't take a shower everyday I notice the starting of acne on his face. I just remind him that if he wants a nice clear complexion that he needs to shower daily. I hope this can be of some help to you.

Joan - posted on 10/15/2009

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I honestly don't understand why kids hate taking a shower. Two of my older kids went through this and then grew out of it..thank God! I think when they got to jr high it became an issue. I have a 9 year old that hates showers but he is still at that age where he listens. He didnt use to though when he was living with his father. Now, I am just really consistant with it so it is not a big issue. Try no desert until a shower is done. My older boy was the worst I think. He just didnt see the need. We would tell him he smelled but I think someone at school must of or maybe an interest in a girl or maybe he just grew out of it. Take a deap breath....it will soon pass!

Raylynn - posted on 10/15/2009

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I told mine (at 7 months preg.) that I was going to get in with him and wash him like a baby!!

Anne - posted on 10/15/2009

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I had to laugh Anne, when I read your post, because my daughter is going through the same thing. She will be 13 in Feb. and things are kinda rough with her right now, lots of moodiness!!! During the summer it was really hard to get her to shower, but since school started she sems to be doing better!!! Week-ends are kinda rough, but if I tell her that she needs a shower before church, because I don't want people to smell her then she will shower. I have tried the nice approach and that didn't work at all with her so if she stinks I just tell her!
I know she will grow out of it, soon I hope, I just have to let it go sometimes.

Vickie - posted on 10/14/2009

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The mom's below that said to allow your preteen to have their own toiletries are right on track! My 12 year old hated taking showers until I let her pick out her own shampoo, conditioner, shower jell, hair spray... well you get the picture. She spent a lot of time reading the labels and smelling the bottles then came to me and asked my opinion on her selections. Even when I wasn't sure she had made the best selections I encouraged her to try what she selected and then change to another brand or type for her next purchase. We also complemented her on how wonderful she smells right after her shower! In August when school started I put together a small bag of sample size hand lotions, chap-stick and body sprays that she promptly took to school for her locker. Oh and did I mention that she now showers daily and some days she hits the shower twice!

Wendy - posted on 10/14/2009

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I agree about the Axe body wash. We bought that for our three boy, plus the Axe cologne and they go in a lot easier.

[deleted account]

My oldest son is currently 15. We had a time with the daily showers once he got to an age that he needed them. We tried the men's shower gels, sprays and such with no luck. Finally when he was about 13 he wanted to get rid of his glasses and go to contacts. I had to tell him that when he showed responsiblity for his personal hygene on a daily basis without reminders from us then we could discuss. now at 15 he showers on a daily basis. Sometimes you just have to explain to them that there are things that have to be done on a daily basis for hygene just like chores in the house.

[deleted account]

Why does he need a shower every day? It just drys the skin out. Unless he gets all hot and sweaty chances are he doesn't need one.

Kristy - posted on 10/14/2009

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Well I think that you be honest. Tell them they have an odor and if you can smell it your pretty sure theif friends and class mates can. Than go into the song and dance about the kid you had in school who smelled like body odor (we all had one). Give your child an honest perspective from the outside. That seemed to do the trick with my kids. I also buy them the cool shower stuff. Like letting them pick their own shampoo, conditioner, body wash, loofa, and other tings like that. Gets them excited to use them.

Christine - posted on 10/13/2009

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Beautifully said- constant berating DOES NOT make a child shower/bathe more!!!! They will all figure out sooner or later the benefits of good hygiene. Just help them through the slumps:)

Christine - posted on 10/13/2009

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My children range in age from 11-16 and range in activity from gamer to volleyballer to basketball player. More often than not even my gamer ( H. S. sophmore w/ lots of homework) is busy with things other than gaming, so without a set schedule I set it up like this. " Hey, honey, you've got 20 more minutes than it's in the shower, and I had better here the water running for atleast 8 minutes." It took a few times of smelling his hair to know whether he'd showered or not, but now I don't even have to set time frames, I just say," Hey bud, time for a shower." It's doen

[deleted account]

Let your preteen pick out his or her shower soap and deoderant maybe even a nice cologne or perfume..... maybe tell him or her that it is time to develop their personal style....if that does not work maybe ask them how they would feel if a classmate told them that they stink....... GOOD LUCK!!!

Crystal - posted on 10/13/2009

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My son is 11 years old, I was doing the same thing. I tried special "cool" shampoos, men body soap (by the way Axe works the best with bad BO) I came straigh out and told him that you stink take a shower!! (this was after the girls wont come around thing, I think that actually added to the no shower thing)



I finally told him that he couldn't eat untill he showered! I got fresh clean new sheets on his bed and fresh clean new bed cloths, started dinner on night and told him that if he wanted to eat he had to go shower, end of discussion. He moned and groned and when dinner was ready ad he wasn't allowed to join he went and took his shower. I know it sound mean but it works. I no longer fight I just remind him that is time when I start dinner (warning it a little harder when you go out to eat, those nights it still a fight so than I take something like the TV)



Hope that helps!

Terri - posted on 10/13/2009

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I used to have problems with my son showering but not anymore...he is 13 and all I asked him was, "Don't you want to smell great for the girls?' That worked! He showers everyday and uses the Axe shampoo etc.........

Stephanie - posted on 10/13/2009

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It is really not good to shower everyday. It is better for there hair if they don't. In the summer I make my 13 year old shower ever other day or every 3rd day depending on what he did that day but in the winter he showers twice a week. We do have a routine of brushing teeth, washing face, brushing hair and putting on deoderant every morning but the need for a shower everyday is not neccisary.

Venessa - posted on 10/13/2009

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I told my son that he should start showering every day before he goes to school, he started doing it in february and we've had no problems at all with it. I told him he would never get a girlfriend if he was smelly and that seemed to be a big enough threat for him, I used the same line to make him brush his teeth every day. Thankfully he hasnt had a girlfriend yet (he's only 12) but he's getting interested so it was a good threat.

Brenda - posted on 10/12/2009

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I told my son at age nine that if he didn't take a shower before school that day he wasn't allowed to take a shower for the rest of the month. It took him a minute, but since it was the first week of the month I guess he didn't want start smelling too badly! LOL I haven't had too much trouble with him since then.



He's 13 now and on long weekends he might go a day or two without showering, but if he and his friends are getting together the first thing he does is hop in the shower. He uses his Axe body wash, deodorant and body spray, puts on clean clothes and he's ready to go!



Now my battle is with his messy room. UGH!!!

Emily - posted on 10/12/2009

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Oh goodness I don not know what it is with preteen boys and hygiene! My son is almost 13 and absolutely hates to shower! It is a constant battle. If we tell him stinks, he just sprays a ton of body spray. If we tell him that he looks greasy and dirty, he just rolls his eyes. It's terrible! His skin is now turning in to a mess because of it! UGH!

Beth - posted on 10/12/2009

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Does your child really NEED to shower daily? Can you let it go on, say, Friday night/Saturday morning and holidays so he has a choice in the matter at least some of the time? I have two boys, one of whom became scrupulous about hygiene at a young age, the other had no interest in personal hygiene. A HUGE part of the problem with this boy is that his father was ALWAYS berating him, nothing he did was good enough (NEVER true for the other boy) and he was really depressed. I made sure he showered for things like family gatherings, church, etc. and told him he needed tos hwoer for school unless he wanted to be made fun of and he often chose not to shower. That, I am pleased to say, has passed adn he wouldn't dream of leaving home without showering now. (His father and I are now divorced and he no longer lives with constant picking and his self-esteem has improved greatly.)

Jen - posted on 10/11/2009

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My sister bought her pre-teen son Axe body shampoo, Axe poof? Or whatever their called...Axe this, Axe that...etc etc. He no longer has issues with shower's. It worked. I think she bought it for him when he was 12...or 13.

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