When is the best age to give a boy "the talk?"

Jolie - posted on 10/04/2012

I read an article recently that mentioned the importance of talking to your kids about porn, as well. Because it is so readily accessible on the internet and "sexting" is becoming so commonplace at school, an open discussion about inappropriate images is a must. Sorry, can't find the article to post the link, but it just mentioned that kids will see things far worse than we did when we were kids . . . and they need to know what to do about it, how to stay away from it, how addictive it can be, and how it can truly ruin relationships. My oldest is turning 8 this year and we're planning to start talking in age-appropriate terms. A dear friend of ours revealed to us that his parents gave him "the talk" at age 12, which was two years after his older cousin had introduced him to porn and started molesting him. He didn't understand what was going on until it was too late. And he still battles a porn addiction many years later. Love your little ones and keep them close! Today's kids need us more than ever.

Kalyn - posted on 01/13/2011

I would have the talk random at any time. I have a 16yr old and 8 boy and a 14 yr girl. I had the talk with my daughter first and asked her if the schools were talking to them about sex and she said her friends were all doing it. So i pulled out the laptop and went to her room talked about sex then pulled out all sorts the worst of the worst STD pictures of what can come from sex. she already knew babies but has never seen the std's. They were so gross I couldnt even have sexuall realations with my spouse for two weeks. If the cause and affect will work on her as they did me then i think i did something right. I should of thought of that for the oldest but he seems to know everything. Found out my 16 boy is having sex and i am finding condoms all over his room.

Julie - posted on 01/07/2011

I got to have "the talk" with my 12 year old son (then 11) when my 17 (now 18) year old nephew became a daddy. I told him about his new cousin. He asked when did my nephew get married. I answered all his questions. I did not give more then he was asking. I let him lead the discusion. We did end up discussing the anatomy of sex (blush). He said gross. I did tell him one day you will not feel that way. But for now gross is good lol.

Louise - posted on 01/05/2011

I found out I was expecting a 2nd child when my oldest was close to turning 10 so that was a good opening to have lots of open and honest talks, At the end of 5th grade while I was still pregnant they had a sex ed, body change, health class his teacher asked me to come in and talk to the class about the changes my body was going thru and I was quite suprised with the questions. They were very mature and well thought out ( had expected them to be shy cuz they just finished a class about it and did not want to think about there parents doing that) We also watched the life video about babies in utro and being born. My son was in the room for all of my labor, but I had a c-section so he missed the actual delivery. Just be as hones as you can and answer all the questions even if you are embarrased so they know they can talk to you about anything.

Kim - posted on 01/02/2011

My son just turned 11. We gave him a book about body changes a few months ago, then about a month ago we tried to have 'the talk' with him and he didn't want to know. He does now know a man is involved with making a baby but that is where he stopped us. I do want to have the talk with him before Jr High, he's in 5th grade now. My Mother never really had a talk with me and I wish she had before I started Jr High.

Andrea - posted on 12/28/2010

My boys are 11 &14 and have been talking to them for a while now. When they started asking questions we would answer them honestly but keep it age appropiat. My oldest and I have open conversations all the time. He has no problem talking to me. My youngest doesn't talk as much but he does know what he needs to know. I would rather my kids hear it from me than another kid at school.

Melissa - posted on 12/27/2010

We had the talk at age 8 with our children. We didn't go into a great amount of gorry detail but they learned about sex and the changes our body makes in preparationfor that. We have since had many, many open and honest discussions with our children. I didn't want any of my kids hearing about anything from other kids before they heard it from me. It has helped a great deal in allowing my kids to feel like they don't need that in their lives yet. They know there will be a time for it and they can wait.

Sherri - posted on 12/24/2010

We had the body changing talks on going for quite some time However, I had "THE TALK" at 12 with my boys as well. However, if you feel your 10 yr old needs to know more at a younger age then that is okay too.

Ramona - posted on 12/20/2010

It should be an on-poing discussion. If you want your boys to know how you and your dh feel about sex, dating, marriage, etc...then it should be an on-going discussion.

Linda - posted on 12/18/2010

Well... I think it depend on the kid, and why you think it is necessary. I just had to have "the talk" with my 10 year old daughter last week. I had the same concern about being too young, but then I found out that she has a "boyfriend" at school. A boy who wants to kiss her like "the adults do". Yikes! So, now my concern was more about making sure she knows what she needs to know. Just seems WAY too young to me.

Laura - posted on 12/16/2010

This is such a good question! IMO, the answer is the earlier the better with age appropriate language and materials. Remember, too, that "the talk" shouldn't be just about sex! I large part of this discussion should be on the natural changes that boys (and girls) go through as they begin the journey through puberty. Sex and any related discussion can actually come a little later--but not too much later! : ) For a ten year old I would simply ask what he "knows" and be prepared to give an honest, factual talk about how his body will begin to change. Correct anything that is mis-information but let him set the course for the conversation. Let him know that he can always come talk to you about anything, especially if he has questions. At his age this might be enough.



If you want some information yourself, there are many excellent books that cover ALL aspects of puberty and sexual health. The one we have (for my daughter) is called "It's Perfectly Normal" by Robie H Harris and Michael Emberley. This was actually a text book, if you will, that was used in a Sex Ed class we had my daughter take through our church. The book is VERY detailed with lots of illustrations and lots of sound, medical facts about puberty and sex. If you would like more information on the class that was taught (it is a nationally recognized program) feel free to message me, I'd be happy to share that with you! Hope this helps and good luck!