why are 12 year old girls so moody?

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My 12 year old daughter christen is always changing up on me. One second she's happy and laughing and the next second she's yelling and screaming and stomping away to her room and slamming the door VERY loudly behind her. I'm hoping that that'll be over soon though.

Eden - posted on 01/09/2010

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I have a 12 yr old as well and puberty is certainly a challenge, but it took me directly to when I went through puberty. I tried to put myself in her shoes and think about how I felt and how it impacted others. The moodiness is certainly unpredictable at first, but after time, we were able to pinpoint when those moods would be at their peak. I made it so that her change to womanhood was a celebration and a partnership. We use the calendar as a tool (more for me than for her I think-lol) which helps us prepare for that window of unpredictability. We make it a bit of a joke now (exactly a year since she started her period) and I throw my own mood meter in here and there too, but there are still days when the moods control everyone's activities. It isn't perfect, but talking to each other about it helps.

Danielle - posted on 01/06/2010

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My 12 year old daughter is exactly the same so all I can say is you're not alone!! One minute I have the sweet, caring Jasmin the next I have back-chatting, smart-mouthed bitchy Jasmin lol!! It's not easy to live with, and I think a lot of the time my husband feels caught between her and I as I feel like I'm the biggest target for her moods and thus I end up reacting accordingly!! However I am the adult here so I do try to be understanding of where her moods are coming from and when she seems particularly upset or depressed I go into her room and have a chat with her. A lot of the time she doesn't want to talk but I find that if I persevere or lighten it a bit by making her laugh, 9/10 she opens up. It also seems to help her when I tell her about similar things that I went through in puberty, highschool, the crap with friends/boys etc. Although most of the time they think they are the only person who has problems in this world (lol) it seems to give them a bit of perspective to talk about the things that we all go through growing up. Of course there are times when she's just an out-an-out brat: and for that I have no answer. It normally just ends with her and I yelling at each other and me telling her to get the hell out of my sight!!!!!!!

Katie - posted on 12/10/2012

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Thank you so much to all the Mums that have posted on this website. My 12 almost 13 year old - for the last 6 months has been laughing one minute and a basket case in tears the next. One minute she's happy then sad and it has been wearing me down. Lately it has been really bothering me and I have been very concerned to the point I am stressed! I cannot remember being so sensitive when I was her age and I seem to bear the brunt of her tears and emotions, not my husband. To know this is normal and more than likely hormone makes it that much easier already. I will continue to do my best to let off steam when she is not around and be there for her when she needs me :)

Renee - posted on 01/08/2010

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well honey I know exactly what u are going through I have a 12yr old that is getting ready to turn 13! Also, I have an 11 yr old who does not care what she says or who she says it to!!! I am so dreading her going into middle school next year!! My almost 13 yr old breanna she is going through a stage right now that one minute she can be happy as a lark and the next minute she can be crying her eyes out for no reason at all!! It has to be hormones and puberty!! Good luck to everyone with girls at this age!!! All I can say is hold them close and love them dearly cause they are only babies once!!!

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Lara - posted on 08/12/2013

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At this age with puberty social networking and hormones its common to be moody. 10-12s are often mouthy easily embarrassed and moody. They're is undoubtfully a lot going on in ur daughters life.
My 11 year old almost 12 had to grow up fast. She started puberty at 8 and had to take responsibility around the house as I have a 6 month baby.

Caroline - posted on 07/31/2012

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I am sooooo glad to bump into this site. I have a daughter due to be 12 yrs in December. She is a loving girl but small small things can flare her up so much. Like last night I was making her hair. Then she asked me to tell her stories....to which I was feeling a bit fatigued so I told her I would do it some other time. She said that she is always telling me stories and I never???? With that she got soooo angry and even when I was done with her hair, she refused to eat or talk to me again and went to bed. This morning when I woke her up to go school, she started with the same mood she had gone to bed with and she was not talking to me. Then she suddenly couldn't find her uniform etc.....and the morning went bad without b/fast. Now I don't know what awaits me in the evening.

Lois - posted on 07/28/2012

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So sorry...I understand. There seems to be a rule somewhere for them to do this...LOL

When girls hit this age from around 11yo to about 14yo moodiness ensues. We try communicating with them as much as possible and staying close even when we feeling like....doing something else. I have not seen anyone avoid this but we do spend time teaching the girls how they can respond to stressors and triggers to their moody behavior. Emotional intelligence if taught during the teen years will carry them for a life time. They do not have to put on an academy award winning drama performance when they are upset unless their is major blood gushing or a tragedy. Other than these reasons...it is not necessary. They can be calm and have conversations to express their feelings. We do not need to do screaming matches or power struggles. I am not saying these girls catch these concepts overnight but there is hope over time.

Chrissy - posted on 07/27/2012

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hello..i have a 12 year old daughter and i'm getting married next month to a great guy but he's not a kid person and she is only used to having me all to herself since I left her father bk in 2005. My fiance is really good to me and tries w/ her but he get upset w her when she has her moods and isn't compliant w /me.
I was raised w/ my Mom, two other siblings and a step father also. it wasn't always fun but my mom had more patience then I seem to haha.

I do need a support group to help us out..

Tanna - posted on 01/07/2010

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Lots of changes going on. Be patient. Try to understand that her body and world are changing in ways she can't explain. At the same time, be clear and reasonable about your expectations. Being a teenager is not a license to be sassy and disrespectful.

Dawn - posted on 01/07/2010

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My daughter is 11 and I'd swear she has to pmsin but I think its a hormone thing, just like im getting closer to menopause, I feel we are always arguing over smting I actually will be relieved when she does get her period { maybe} All I know is she is growing up way to fasf!!

Wendy - posted on 01/07/2010

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It's puberty. Good luck! My daughter and I have had our little battles, now she's 21 and lives with her fiance and 2 yr old son. And we are very close now.

Tara - posted on 01/05/2010

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I have a twelve yr. old daughter as well. I never know what Sydney is going to greet me in the morning lol ! This is the age when girls are going through a big hormonal change in there life and have a lot of confusing feelings going through there minds. I try to remember how it was at that age for me and pick and choose my battles. I know its hard to be understanding sometimes when they just make you want to scream, but remember they wont be this age forever :).

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