Why does my 11 yo girl act like a complete brat? and says she doesn't want to do it any more?

Kim - posted on 02/05/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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She asks to play soccer/voice lessons/band/gymnastics/etc and when I set up the classes or lessons; she refuses and says she doesn't want to do it any more. I am feeling like I am wasting my time and don't even want to bother setting these things up any more.

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Lisa - posted on 02/06/2009

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you, as a parent need to get controll now, especially with girls, they will walk all over you. I have  21 year old twin girls, trust me they can be brutal! Boys seem to have a naturl fear, and a conscience. girls can be evil for lack of better words. my son his 23, he's a cake walk compared to his sisters. but they're all three are still in college, and succeeding because i made them participate in something all through their school years. trust me it works.

Lisa - posted on 02/06/2009

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I think participating in one activity is the best thing you can do for your child. If they want to play something then tell them they will go to every practice or whatever. make them finish it, even if they go kicking and screaming. by allowing them to pick and choose when to go gives them the ability to over-ride you. And also teaches them that it's o.k. to not succeed, which by college years will come back and bite you,   in the tush, and maybe after you have spent  thousands . being involved also teaches good dicipline and dedication and remember a bored teenager is a troubled teenager, it's a violent world out there.

Kim - posted on 02/06/2009

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I had the same discussion with my husband this morning. I can't keep stressing over getting her signed up for things and invovled. I need to just stop worrying about it and let her make the effort if she really wants it. Thanks for the support, it helps just knowing that she is "normal".

Paris-miller - posted on 02/05/2009

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>>>I would bet that the age has a lot to do with it.She is attempting to figure out what she likes and who she is within the context of the larger world. On Monday, she is a soccer player but by Wednesday, she thinks that is totally stupid and wants to be an artist...it's all very age appropriate! She's right on track, thank goodness for you!

Paris(Mommy of a 9 and 10 yr old and a child/adolescent psychologist)

Deb - posted on 02/05/2009

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My daughter is the same way. I stopped signing her up and paying for these things. It was just stressing ME out. There is some kind of mental shift that happens. They remember how much fun it was but aren't willing to put in the effort.   My son went through the same thing; sports were it from age 5 until 12 and then "over".  When my daughter asks to join/do something, I tell her if she is still interested in 2 months from now, we will look at signing her up. Not once has she still been interested. Another thing I have done is asked her to put up half the fees. That sorts out true wants real quick. I love my kids and want them to experience everything they can in live, but they also need to learn to respect time , money and committment.

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