why is my 10 year old daughter always crying over the slightest thing

Skyler - posted on 01/06/2009 ( 71 moms have responded )

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my daughter will not tell me why she gets so upset

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Shamiah - posted on 06/05/2013

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i my daughter wont tell me niether if she do it a lil lie. she is always crying she acts like an 3 year old she is 10 years old and the kids her age always ask her why she talks and act a certain way . she has a nasty attitude im trying to deal with it but i have another child that is developmental delayed and she acts this way i really dont know whats wrong with her. i know she has adhd but it seems as if theres something else . she happy when things are done her way but screaming when done my way then she goes into her room crying saying nobody loves her . what should i do

Belinda - posted on 04/15/2013

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hi my name is belinda and im a mum of mia a nearly 10 yr old. i was wondering if theres any other mum whos going through the same thing as me . my daughter is going through a tuff time at the moment at school and as well as at home. shes finding school very hard to do at the moment and cries and very emotional has a low self esteem and hard to make good friends . how do i talk to her without being harsh. has problems of being inderpendant. and wont ask help at school if she has problems with the things shes doing in class. i wonder is because of her hormones changing .

Mary - posted on 09/08/2013

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I Have two daughters 9 and 11 and I feel for all of you Because I go through the same exact thing. My 9 year old has attitude like crazy. She is bossey, and rude to her brother and sister. The 11 year Cries at the drop of a hat and to be honest it is driving me Crazy. And can we say Lazy. I have to ask literally like 10 times to get anything done and half the time I get so darn frustrated I just do it myself. I feel very distant from my 11 year old daughter, she just stares at me like I am an Animal in a cage, wont answer my questions just stands there and cries all the time. If you look at her cross eyed she cries! I truly do not remember being that way when I was her age. I am not sure if I will make it through these changes. My two oldest boys now 19 and 21 were SO MUCH EASIER!!! This is why I wanted ALL boys!

Melissa - posted on 05/09/2013

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My 11yr old AND 9yr old do the same thing, I think it has ALOT to do with HORMONES, pre-teen hormones, they are stressed out in school trying to make US proud, trying to be 1 of the COOL kids 2 fit in, PLUS its period time, boob time, n more then likely weight gain time also, so they have ALOT more on their plate then we give them credit for!! What has helped me ALOT is being an understanding mother, being a mom, but also being a friend. I mean not like "o lets like go hang @ the mall n like check out the boys" kinda friend, but like a mommy friend. Somebody the can talk to about what's going on, if u have to take them in the bathroom for a 1 on 1 n see if that helps, tell them how YOU are feeling, n that the way they are treating u hurts your feelings, n whatever is bothering them they can talk to you about NO MATTER WHAT it is. it's helped me n my girls build a MUCH stronger relationship. Good luck 2 all

Caitlin - posted on 07/31/2012

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i'm 15 years old and i did the exact same thing when i was 10 and 11. i would cry over the slightest things that normally wouldn't bother me and i just couldn't help it. it's actually pretty normal for girl around that age to do that because i believe thats when our bodies are just begin to start to change like with our hormones. i think i grew out of that when i was about 11. then i also got my period at 11. so they just have to grow out of it.

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Grace - posted on 04/12/2014

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i got the same thing off my 12 and a half year old daughter. i get home from work and the babysitter leaves.As soon as she has left , she starts crying then i ask her what's wrong.,but she does not answer me she just stares at me like i am a statue when she started her period at 11 she grow out of it shall i say

Clarence - posted on 02/13/2014

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I have a 9 year old nephew who crys for the little as things but his mama left him n his sisters 2 years ago n now my mother is taking of them now n they have been though so much with there mama in and out of there lives since they were born n been in 2 foster homes but now my mama takes care of them so what could be wrong with my nephew

Sam - posted on 01/02/2014

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My daughter of just about 10 is also crying every evening, and cheeky! As for Larry's comment. Girls are having MUCH earlier puberty these days, and it's a world wide phenomenon. Not imbalance, just the normal 13 year old hormones at age 9.
I've talked with my daughter a lot and she doesn't know the reason for her crying. We've taught her breathing techniques - blow out first, relax your muscles, small in breath and long slow out - this helps her calm down. Then, also redirecting the focus. Tell yourself this feeling is normal, I must do something different - to shift her focus elsewhere. 10 minutes later she often feels a lot better. Big thing is to help her with tools. We also give a kids B complex vitamin every day which I believe helps.

Kelly - posted on 12/31/2013

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I have a very emotional 9 year old daughter who has recently gained a little bit of weight. She crys at the simplest things over reacts and generally has no confidence. She will not sleep in her own bed and is very clingy to me. We have had alot of upset in our family over the last few years and Im aware my stress and illness has had a impact. I do wonder if she is gonna be a early developer. or is this something for family counseling. Any advice is greatly appreciated as I feel like a terrible mum and I love her so much. It breaks my heart to see her unhappy

Bailey - posted on 05/04/2013

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You know that they can get their peirod at 9-16 my daughter gets so upset over nothing I feel so bad

Tara Lee - posted on 01/26/2013

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My daughter keeps crying every time I look at her and every time I come into her room!

Jamique Aaliyah - posted on 11/24/2012

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maybe she is just ver sensitive.Has her father died? Does she get bullied at school?Ask her school teacher how your dauhter is doing at school

Lien - posted on 11/07/2012

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Feels good to know it is normal and we r all going thru the same things. It breaks my heart to see my daughter (10) crying so much for every little thing and I can't help feeling guilty. She is very insecure at times I just wish I could help her she is demanding a lot of attention from me and her teacher too. I was thinking if taking her out on a mother n daughter date would help or something.

User - posted on 10/25/2012

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It is nice to know I'm not alone. My almost 10 year old is emotional one minute, and super upset the next. She stresses herslf out when she gets any grade lower than a B. I get stressed and emotional just watching. She also says she is not ready to be a "young lady" that she is fine just being a girl who still enjoys her dolls. I'm so not ready for this! Ourr oldest boy went throughj the raging

Macenzie Jane - posted on 09/01/2012

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my ten year old daughter is so upset but i dont know why but her boobs are growing by the days do you think she is getting her period?

Natalie - posted on 08/01/2012

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I have been going though the same thing, but its my 10 year old son, sometimes you cant even breath you feel like your walking on egg shells, for example you can be on the phone and hes banging a ball in the house, i ask him to take the ball outside and to talk abit quiter, as am on the phone.
Then out of nowere his head goes down and then the tears start, i tell him he cant keep crying of every little thing as people will pick up on this and turn nasty, i really do worry as he starts high school sept 2013 and cant cry at everything as small as that otherwise other kids will be on him like a tone of bricks we all no what kids are like

but i do think its the hormones as i remember turning 11 and i felt so upset and angry but i never really new why its a growing up thing am sure.

LARRY - posted on 07/29/2012

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YOU NEED TO GET YOUR DAUGHTER INTO A GYNOGOLOGIST WHENEVER YOU CAN IT IS NOT NORMAL FOR A GIRL TO START HER PERIOD AT NINE. SHE MAY BE HAVING A HORMONAL INBALANCE. WHILE IT IS VERY NORMAL FOR HER TO CRY WHENEVER SHE WANTS TO CRY DON'T TELL HER TO STOP. IF SHE DOESN'T ALLOW YOU TO HUG HER. SHE IS GOING THREW WHAT THEY CALL NORAMALCY FROM FANTASY. SHE IS JUST NOW RELISING THAT LIFE IS VERY REAL AND THE THINGS SHE WOULD SEE ON T.V. AS A CHILD IS NOW REAL AND SHE IS JUST FEELING WHAT SHE SEE'S AND HEARS. WHILE THIS IS VERY NORMAL WALK OVER TO HER AND LAY BESIDE HER AND LET HER KNOW THAT ITS O.K TO FEEL THIS WAY AND WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO HOLD YOU WHILE YOU CRY IF SHE SAYS YES DO SO BUT DON'T FEEL THE NEED TO SAY A WORD. IF SHE SAYS NO DON'T HOLD HER. TELL HER I CAN SEE YOUR UPSET AND I AM HERE FOR YOU AND STEP BACK AND DO YOUR OWN THING.. SHE WILL BE FINE SHE IS DISCOVERING HER OWN INDEPENDANCY.. LEAVE HER BE!!

Diane - posted on 07/24/2012

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Iam in this very same boat.. My oldest is my second cousin whom is a foster placement to be adoptive.. She had these behaviors before coming to our home and some days are better then most but when she has theses fit she get destructive.. She cusses.. And is very abusive to her your sister and sometime to my 2 kids.. I'm at a loss of words with her right now .. Her sister is starting to resemble the same behaviors and it's starting to affect her placement with us.. I need help or advie

Alyssa - posted on 06/04/2012

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my 10 year old step daughter lives with us full time...she goes in to these screaming crying fits over everything..if asked to speak up..she cries for hours..its a daily thing..she was diagnosed with bi polar a year ago...but her dr says its a behavior thing.along with the need to lie about everything..its frustrating because her dad wont do anything to correct this behavior. i ground her but to be honest it does not phase her.. she has gone through puberty over a year ago.. almost 11 and is 5'8 166 lbs i am not kidding.. im only 5'3.. i love her but this is effecting me...i have been battling cancer since oct 2011 it effects my kids as well because of the screaming she does and the stress on me.. what do i do..or should i just leave for the sake of my sanity my other kids sanity?

Ann - posted on 06/04/2012

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My daughter just turned 9 and she does this too but she has ALWAYS done this. It drives me nuts. Cries over the stupidest and littlest things. Her brother was making a face at her, her brother changed the channel, the last snack cake is gone, she got an A- on her test instead of a A....UGH it is soooo frustrating. She has always been whiney since the day she was born. I was thinking of taking her to a doctor to see if its hormones or some kind of disorder.

Melissa - posted on 06/02/2012

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My daughter is 12 and the sadness and depressed episodes started about 5 months ago. At first i thought she was depressed because i have been battling with depression since right after Christmas. However i have noticed that along with these episodes she is getting breakouts on her face and they seem to coincide also with my cycles. She is about to be 100 pounds and her boobs have grown from buds to about 32A in the last 6 months. I feel so helpless when she is so sad and she just wants to be alone because if i even try to ask her what is wrong she starts crying and just wants to escape. Do u think she is about to start her period?

User - posted on 05/18/2012

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really nice to know that everyones 10 yr old girl is the same ....but how long does it go on ??

[deleted account]

Hi there yes I have a 10 year old little girl too and Im also having the same problem lots of tears, iv sat and asked her and she says its her sats and moving to high school that is worrying her , I didn't say goodbye to her properly this morn before she went into school as I have take my little boy into class plus we were running late and my daughter was in floods as she wanted a hug , and then she was fine? But I walked away with a lump in my throat and worried all day , all we can do is be there for them with kind words and a mummy hug it works for me I don't actually think they know themselves why they feel so upset but try finding reasons to fit their mood good luck everyone xxx

Donna - posted on 10/16/2011

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maybe she really doesnt know. I mean Im sure she does but just cannot find the words to express it. Or maybe its how she gets her way.

User - posted on 10/10/2011

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So, it's the HORMONES! Geesh, I thought I might have to call a counselor. I really wish they came with a manual!

Jane - posted on 07/20/2011

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maybe its hormones, has she had stomach cramps? she might be reaching puberty already, my daughters started their periods around the age of ten xx hope this helps xxxx

Linda - posted on 07/14/2011

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Yes, my daughter is 11 and struggles with this. I came hear looking for answers and got them - thanks

Marla - posted on 02/10/2010

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Must be hormones. I am going though the same thing with my 10 year old. She cries over everything and says she can't help it.

Benedetta - posted on 02/09/2010

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To you and other adults, it may be the slightest thing; but to your daughter it's the end of the world. Listening and understanding and not necessarily knowing every little detail of what's upsetting her may help. Try not to pry or be pushy, when she's ready she may or may not come to you and that's okay, she's maturing and needs to deal with her problems on her own to better function when she's older.

Brandi - posted on 02/06/2010

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well I also have a 10 yr old daughter who is going thru all the pms symtons with me every month except the period part. We are keeping track of when we both get a little on edge and just knowing that it is coming helps us cut down on the out burst of emotion. It really did help just knowing that it is not just my child going thru this. thanks ladies.

Corena - posted on 02/04/2010

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I have a 16 year old daughter who was like this when she was younger...now she gets raging PMS. It is somewhat funny because no one else in the house suffers from PMS.

When she actually got her period I encouraged her to keep track of her cycles so that she know what's going on. It has been really helpful...when she is being a raging bi**h to her brother all I have to say is..."Where are you in your cycle hon?"...and she realizes what is going on and calms down and makes more of an effort to control her temper. (No, she is not actually crazy... ;) )



Teach your girls to keep track of their cycles! It really helps!

Cathy - posted on 02/04/2010

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I'm new on here and can definitely relate to the changing hormones with my 11, soon to be 12 year old. She goes back and forth between still playing like a kid and worrying about acting "cool" and more like a teenager with some of the girls at school, most who have been 12 for a while.YES, there's a lot of drama with this age group.

Keodiretse - posted on 02/04/2010

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I am going thru th same thing also,my daughter just cries & i hurt because most of the time she doesn't tell why?

Sarah - posted on 02/02/2010

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ohhh i thought i was the only one dealing with this!!!! i had put it down to hormones, but i feel so much better knowing that its normal, and other girls are going though this. x

Caroline - posted on 02/02/2010

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Hi, my 10 year old is exactly the same, i took her to the cinema the other night and she came home and i found her crying in her room. I got a bit angry because i couldn't understand why she was crying when we had such a good night

September - posted on 01/28/2010

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I came to this site looking for answers to my 10 year old daughter's unexplained crying. I am so relieved to find it is natural, although emotional occurance.

Adrienne - posted on 02/15/2009

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Most of the time, I don't think THEY even know why they're so upset! I compare it to the raging hormones we go through when we're pregnant... we often cry at the drop of a hat, and we don't know why either! My daughter is 11 1/2, and she's been going through the same thing for about 2 years now.



I try to sit down with her and calmly ask her what's making her so upset, but usually she can't pinpoint a reason. I normally just let her go to her room for a while to cool off, which gives her time to think and compose herself, so to speak. When she's ready, she's much calmer and she can tell me what's wrong a little easier.



One thing we definitely don't stand for, though, is when the crying jag comes with an attitude. Sometimes we have to remind her that being upset doesn't give her license to say whatever she wants. She can vent or whatever, but we still expect her to be respecful.



I know, it's so frustrating! I think the only thing we can do is try to be supportive and understanding to help them get over the phase.



Best of luck to you!



 ~ Adrienne

Alice - posted on 02/14/2009

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wow! many responses! All wonderful...I gave my daughters coping strategies to help.... We talked about how when they feel this way they should pick something to help them cope. One of my daughters actually told me she could tell by the way she felt when she woke in the morning that she was going to melt down at some point during that day. As a grown woman my hormones are whacky at certain times of the month, so I understood this feeling she had.   



This something could be as simple as journalling, a walk, a bubble bath.....The feeling I was told by my daughter was that they were going to bust if they didnt cry. They do feel an onset though prior to the event(so they say) Its important that you and she talk about what might work for her to ease her hormonal tension before a meltdown. There  will still be sudden ones...but they will occur less. Poor little women do not understand how to deal with these rushes of emotion, we poor big woman have to share what we know LOL

[deleted account]

My daughter did that too. They grow out of it.  Just give a quick hug and "try" not to let it bother  you.

Karen - posted on 02/12/2009

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Hello I'm Karen

The first thing I would do is check with teachers and friends that nothing bad is happening to her ie bullying , falling out with her best mate pressure's of exams going into high school etc !! school can be pretty nasty and girls are worse . If it's nothing like that then maybe she is coming into puberty early , Her body & emotions are changing and none of us like that !! It's a scary thing growing up & some times it's hard to explain why we feel sad & down. Have a girly night & experiment with hair nails play music dance etc. she may open up when she and you are both relaxed I do hope she feels well soon and good luck

Cindy - posted on 02/12/2009

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I'm with you all the way! We're experiencing the same thing except my daughter is 11 and in 5th grade. Gymnastics is keeping her self confidence up. There are a couple of "mean" girls that were once her very dear friends. While I advocate forgiveness and moving forward, I find a way for the "mean girls" not to be included as much as possible. This of course makes her mad with me but....mean girls usually develop into mean women and having dealt with my share of those....why ask for trouble?!

Cindy - posted on 02/12/2009

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I feel the same way!!! Mine had a major meltdown on Monday, didn't want to let go of my waist as she was crying to stay home from school. I came very close to letting her because in a year or two she'll probably not like me anymore! It's definitely hormones and thank goodness we are aware and can talk to them about it. Growing up i was clueless why I felt mad and sad all the time and thought there was something really wrong with me. It didn't help that my mother kept accusing me of never being happy! She never zoomed in that my body was changing and helped through it. We've come along way baby!

[deleted account]

the trik is to think bake to what you was like, and then then you should be able to counter act the mood swings. it works for me mostly

[deleted account]

This is exactly what is going on in my house!  She is so moody.  My husband is at a loss of what to do?! 

[deleted account]

hi everybody!  i just joined the group & i have to say i got a good chuckle w/ this sense of relief that you all are living in the same world!  oh the joys of having girls!  xo

Pamela - posted on 02/09/2009

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Hormones, my thirteen year old started her cycles when she was 11 and then things got better from there. Good Luck:)

Jennifer - posted on 02/07/2009

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My 10 year old hasn't started menstration yet, but I notice her moodiness corresponds to my PMS and cycle....my husband wants a ManCave

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