WORRIED

GEORGIA - posted on 07/17/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I am becoming very concerned about my 11 year old daughter,her self-esteem is very low-now she is always saying she's fat and ugly,she has been refusing to eat-constantly exercising and wieghing herselfe,and now she don't want to start back at school because she says she's ugly and people will make fun of her-help....

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[deleted account]

She needs to go see and counselor. Now. There is something or somethings very wrong and since she isn't telling you then she needs to talk to someone.

Tara - posted on 07/27/2010

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just tell her she is beautiful let her look in the mirror nd ask her wat she she maybe she will get over it.

Kari - posted on 07/26/2010

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I agree you should seek a dr.'s advice it's important that you know all the things you can do for her that will help and that she know this can become serious. I also suggest making certain everyday you give a small compliment ( cute shirt, great hair, etc.) just to pick her up. It's sounds too easy but a lot of little things add up big. Most important make sure she knows yoru there and that you love her just the way she is. Best of luck.

[deleted account]

maybe having a friend come over to do things with like make cookies or something would help to brightne her day? they can get into an activity such as what ever church you might be affiliated with or something.

Laura - posted on 07/21/2010

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While many of the suggestions are good (the American Girl books are a staple with my own daughter), it sounds like your daughter has a more serious self-image issue than can be adequately dealt with through a book. Talk to her doctor! Your doctor can do a physical and talk to her about healthy diet and excersise and can determine if counseling may be in order. Eating disorders are a serious health issue, both mentally and physically, so don't take this problem lightly. Best of luck to you and your daughter!

Yvonda - posted on 07/20/2010

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I was bulimic when I was younger and I started binging and purging at 12 years old,and almost died before I was 20, please don't take this lightly, if your daughter is already stressing about her weight, please take her seriously and ta;k to her pediatrician about getting her into counseling right away! Good luck...God bless you both

[deleted account]

My daughter is 11 years old and I'm going through the same thing with her....
I have talked to her about her weight and although in my opinion she's not overweight, she still feels insecure. In order for me not to make her feel uncomfortable, I began talking about my own weight and say things like....I need to loose some weight, do you want to exercise with me or do you want to keep me company on my walk? or things like how about helping make a salad, or when we go to the super market, I have her help pick out fresh fruits and healthier snacks.
If she's eating healty, there is nothing to worry about. Plus you need to realize she's at that stage where she's going through some physical changes (ie. breasts start growing, monthly period, etc.) all these are major factors in weight gain too. So just talk to her and let her know that as she gets older, her body is going to change and there is nothing wrong with that.
If other kids at school talk s*it, tell her...those girls are jealous of her. I'm grateful that my daugther has realized that people say crap to hurt her feelings but she knows that people can say hurtful things and its not because they want to, its because they don't know how to be nice....
I wish you the best of luck with your daughter. Just do your best to encourage her and monitor her exercising habits and eating habits to insure she's not doing it wrong. Healthy is better.

[deleted account]

I totally agree with what everyone said. I've talked about nutrition with my 11 year old daugter and have used the American Girl book:The Care and Keeping of You. Great suggestions everyone!!

Lisa - posted on 07/18/2010

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When I was a teen I had the worst self esteem, when I turned 21 my friends gave me a book called "Real Gorgeous" by Kaz Cooke. I wish I'd had it 10 years earlier LOL It's out of print now, but apparently she's written a more up-to-date version called "Girl Stuff - your full on guide to the teen years". (It's been 15 years since I turned 21 btw LOL)

Anne Marie - posted on 07/18/2010

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My daughter is 16 she very conscious of her weight. You could use this opportunity to discuss healthy ways of eating and healthy choices. Next time she want McDonalds or other fast food suggest a healthy choice. Tell her you think she looks fine but if she likes we can look into an exersice program. My daughter got into synchronized swimming and has since become a health freak and started eating right, and excersising in a healthy way. Choose a lot fat dinner and tell her you chose this dinner for her and working with what she wants. Let her know nutrition is the only way to keep healthy, not eating can actually increase poor body physic, it is eating the right food that is important. By eating the right food and excersising she will feel better about herself.

Monica - posted on 07/17/2010

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American Girl makes some great self help books that I found helpful reading with my 11 year old. There is one called The Body Book: The Care of Keeping You, that was really good, one on feelings, friendship, going to middle school, and many more. Most talk about accepting you for who you are.

Reading them together has helped open the dialogue about these topics and I have had some great heart to hearts.

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