Kindergarten - to hold back or not

Julie - posted on 11/28/2008 ( 26 moms have responded )

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I have a June 2004 boy - I'm getting so much mixed advice about holding him back. I wasn't planning on it - my daughter is in kindergarten now and I like the idea of the two being only 1 year apart in school. any advice?

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Carla - posted on 12/16/2011

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My sister had the same problem. Her doctor actually told her to send her. If it didn't workout or she was falling behind then you can always take them out and start next year. She has been doing great. It isn't going to hurt them if you send them and then have to take them out in kindergarten. Once they have been in school a few years and then have to be hold back it is harder.

Tonie - posted on 09/16/2011

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Honestly I would send to first and if he has trouble keep him back in the 1st. They learn a lot more in the 1st grade. The odd number grades are going to be easier. K-5 is more to learn how to get along with others, getting up, social skills and such like that! I would never even think about it. Let him do 1st over if need be bit usually after 1st semester you will see a huge difference on him. But if need be they learn a lot of needed material in 1st. I would think before long and hard before holding back in k-5. I have taught both so I hope this helps.

Jill - posted on 08/27/2009

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I'd say have him evaluated by the school district and see what his preschool teachers recommend. They are the ones who are with him during the day while he interacts with the rest of the class. They will know where he stands academically...Does he keep up with the other kids?? and such......good luck

Jen - posted on 07/23/2009

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Our son is a June baby too and we send him to Kindergarten thinking he was ready. He loved the social interaction, but ended up struggling a bit by the end of the year. We tried one more year, and held him back in 2nd grade. We are soooo glad we did. Being a boy (and not average height) he is better matched with the girls who are taller and more mature in his grade. There are many other boys who must have had similar situations, too, since they are close in age. He fits right in where he is now. I do know of another mom who had a very tall boy who chose to keep him in the same grade and hire a tutor for a year and her son is doing great. Each child is different, and you really need to go with your gut feelings. You can always change (if needed) in a few years. Good luck!

Kristi - posted on 07/15/2009

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So excited to find this post. My son has a July 2004 birthday and we have been going back and forth all year with this decision. We have finally decided to send him as he is sooo ready. Also he is very tall for his age which I think makes a big difference. I hope we are making the right decision. After talking to MANY teachers, parents, ect, I really do think it depends on the child. Every child is so different. Good luck!!!!

N - posted on 07/04/2009

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My daughter was born Oct 21 and the cutoff is Oct 1. We actually think she's ready. My son will be 3 in July and we're debating sending him to school in sept.I think we might decide to hold off on it for another year. My daughter however she's so independent and and mature. She's actually upset that some of her friends are going to kindergarten and she's not. I think it depends on the child. Not everything works for every child

Susan - posted on 06/10/2009

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Just remember that boys develop around 6 months behind girls of the same age. Theoretically, we should send our boys to school 6 months older than the girls in the same classes. I have a boy who I am holding back too. My daughter has just started school and I liked the idea of them being a year apart too, but now I can see that there would be quite a bit of competitiveness between them. Typically in a classroom setting, it's the boys who struggle, as they're often just not ready for that type of learning environment. I would consider holding him back.

Rebecca - posted on 04/19/2009

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I think the best thing would be to hold him back. I have a 10 year old that has a Sept. bday and school comes very easy to him because he is one of the older kids in his class. My other son went on time... he is in 2nd grade and has a hard time with school. If you think he isn't going to be ready you need to give him another year. They ask so much from these children today... Very different than when we went to school.

Conni - posted on 04/16/2009

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Hi, I think if you have him in preschool, talk with his teacher. My son will be 5 in July and his teacher says he is completely ready. I still have reservations because he is ready academically, but I'm not sure if he is mature enough. I will put him in this coming fall, but depending on how he does, I might have him repeat K.

Kathleen - posted on 04/13/2009

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The cut-off here is Dec 1, so I thought that with a June birthday, my son would be middle of the class for his birthday. I always figured that the Sept - Nov birthdays were the ones that would be questionable. He is the second youngest in his pre-K class of 11 kids (10 boys!) and easily the largest. But he is just not as mature as half of them.

His teacher is recommending young 5s for him, but we're not sure yet. I'd say he is averagely intelligent and averagely social - not every child can be the absolute best in his class, and waiting just because he's a little behind his peers isn't necessarily the answer. This trend of waiting keeps pushing up the cut-off in our minds, such that our summer babies (who used to be middle of the pack) now become the young lag-behinds, creating even more pressure on our kids.

He has his screening through the preschool in two weeks, then a screening for the school we want him to attend in three weeks. We'll see what they say then, but we're leaning toward starting him in kindergarten anyway.

Risa - posted on 01/16/2009

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I think it depends on the individual child.  Maturity wise.  My son who is now 11 (july 97) was the youngest in his class when he went into 1st grade.  He was very immature not to mention he was struggling with the work.  After many meetings throughout the year with the teacher and counselor we decided that it was best for him to repeat 1st grade.  It was the hardest decision I ever have had to make but it was also the best one.  He is doing great now.  So if you have the option to wait the extra year to start kindergarden then I would do it.  I feel it can only help in the long run.  Better to do it when they are young than wait until the later years when there a stigma about being held back.

Lisa - posted on 01/04/2009

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Hi, I am new here, but I wanted to put my twp since in anyways! My 13 year old daughter, we decided to hold her back in kindergarten, she actually did 2 years of 1st grade. She was born august 3rd of 1995. She is in 7th grade now and is an honor roll student, So in my case I feel I made a good decision. Also the teachers gave me some good advice. My daughter was born in August, and there are other kids born in January, they are 8 months older, what were they doing at 8 months when my daughter was just being born. My daughter that is 4 will be starting kindergarten next year, but she will be 5 in February so she will be almost 6 years old before she starts!

Nicole - posted on 01/04/2009

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My son was born in Jan of 2004 (he'll be 5 on wed) and I put him in 4 year old kindgeraten this year. It is only for 3 hours a day and he loves it. He is getting so excited to go to all day kindgeraten. I think the decision is yours and you should also talk to his preschool teachers if you are concerned. I think it would be good for him to go and having his sister being there at the school should help as well.

Jenny - posted on 01/02/2009

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My son was born on Dec.2nd and in my state he misses the cutoff date by one day! Looks like I have no choice, but I' OK with that. We have full day everyday kindergarten here and being a little older will help him. I see some younger boys in his preschool class and can't believe the the difference some months make! Besides his older brother's b-day is Dec. 24th and he has excelled socially, academically and athletically! A year seems like a long time to wait now ,but after all is said done looking back one year won't seem like much. Hope this helps.

Rebecca - posted on 01/02/2009

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Holding one of my sons back is the best thing I have ever done. I would say hold back unless they are in the same grade as the sibling. Then I would say you have the right to request an evaluation done by the school district free ( your tax dollars at work) to see if he would need any special education,speech therapy,occupational therapy,and or physical therapy. good luck!

Shannon - posted on 01/01/2009

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I say hold him back. It is so much better for a child's confidence to do well in school. If you send him now he could really struggle. Especially if his sister is more then a 1 1/2 years older then him but only a grade higher, she most likely will always do better then him and that would be terrible!

Stephanie - posted on 12/31/2008

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my daughter was born oct 2004, she is in preschool now and we are planning on sending her to kindergarden in the fall of 2009, they cut off isn't until december 1st. so she will be 4 when she starts, but after talking to her pre k teacher , she is ready.

Charlotte - posted on 12/23/2008

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I have a son who was born in December and held him back from JK and regret it I sent him to SK and I feel he wasn't as ready for grad 1 as I would have liked.. He is now in grade 2 and just turned 7 a week ago. He is doing great he has caught up.

Shannon - posted on 12/20/2008

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I got the best advise from my dad. I have a four year old boy and was thinking of starting him in kindergarten early. He told me that he might be academically equal with the older kids but he will always be the smaller kid. For a boy socially that can be a huge deal. It made all the sense in the world. He will start in August when he's 5.

MIchelle - posted on 12/07/2008

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This is a consatnt conversation among my mommy friends, preschool and all. You are not alone! You willl hear different replies from everyone. Go with your gut. If your son has done well socially in p-k and is ready, only you will know. Also, call or visit the local kinder to see if it is what you expect for him. Good luck!

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Here if your child turns 4 before july 1st they start at the beginning of that year if after july 1 they start the next year when they are turning 5 .I like them only being a year apart.

Julie - posted on 12/05/2008

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Tracey - it sounds like our kids are the same age - my kindergartener is also a sept 2002 baby - so she started late as well - I guess wherever you live the start date is different - ours is 5 years old by sept 1. do you like that your kids are only a year apart in school - it seems like it would be good for everyone (including me when it comes to helping with homework :-)

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My son was born june 2004 and started Kindy this year he loved going and it was good for him to be with other kids his age,also his older brother was born september 2002 so he started later so they are only the year apart,but the disission is yours.If you feel he is ready send him.

Maeve - posted on 11/29/2008

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My son was born in June, 2002. He could have started kindergarten last year, but after my husband & I talked it over with his nursery school teacher, our friends, and anyone else who would listen, we decided to wait an extra year. He started kindergarten this year, at 6 years old, and it was the best thing we could have done for him! He's doing great! The extra year made such a huge difference for him. Every child is different, though, so it's hard to say what would work best for your son.

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