3 year old a little OCD

Stephanie - posted on 06/30/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My daughter was born on September 26, 2006 and she has to have things a certain way... she has to sit in the same spot at the table and use the green spoon with her green bowl, she will cry and fuss if I give her a pink spoon. She hates taking a bath, she likes watching Dora and Blues Clues. She is the youngest and has to be the center of attention, she's alot louder than my other 2 and I'm beginning to wonder if the others resent her... What can I do?

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Maggie - posted on 02/07/2011

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I didn't mean NEVER give her the green bowl/spoon. Just don't give it to her every time. If it's dirty or someone else is using it then she needs to pick from the choices you give her. If she's hungry she'll eat from whatever bowl you give her.

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I disagree with Maggie. If she wants the green bowl and spoon and there is no harm in it just let her. Don't take it from her just bc it's the one she likes to use. That sounds kind of mean! Some kids are ritualistic and you have to choose your battles. If she's too loud and it's interferring with the other children that is something to address, but not something as simple as her wanting the green bowl, unless another child wants it to then she would have to learn to take turns and compromise. The same with her sit spot. If there's no harm in it and she isnt interrfering with anyone else let her have it. I think some parents tend to be overly controlling and should allow their kids to be themselves and vocalize their wants and needs more.

Maggie - posted on 10/01/2010

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stop catering to her every whim! does she always GET the green spoon and bowl? She knows if she cries you'll do what she wants. Try giving her a choice: blue spoon or pink spoon? if she says green spoon then repeat the choices: no green spoon, blue or pink. if she cries just let her cry. If she is being disruptive to the meal then take her away from the table and put her in a safe place until she can calm down. It's unfair to the rest of the family to have to listen to that during a meal.

It can also be a way to get attention. With 2 other kids how much one-on-one time is she getting? Make sure you take at least 10 or 15 minutes out of every day to spend just with her. Make sure, too, that she's included in the older kids activities, even if it's just a small part.
She's particular because you let her be!

Jessica - posted on 07/31/2010

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My three year old is also very particular about things and is also and emotional. She wants so badly to be in control of her world. It helps to respond with humor and give her lots of controlled choices. She also is very technical... it seems that she has to correct everyone in the house! lol. Not sure if it is age, or maybe birth order? Maybe she thinks if she is a little louder she'll get more one on one? :o)

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