Any tips on getting a 3 year old to sleep in their own bed?

[deleted account] ( 20 moms have responded )

I'm having such a hard time getting my 3 year old to sleep in her own bed at night. She wants me to sleep in her room with her. When she finally does fall asleep, I sneak back to my bed but then she later wakes up and crawls into my bed. I need help! She is too big now to share a bed with my husband and I, we get kicked all night long!

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Shani - posted on 10/07/2012

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im still having the same problems with my 3 yr old... what i do now is sit outside her door till she falls asleep and if she comes out take her by the hand tell her its night time tuck her in and come out . 2nd time i say nothing and take her back to the bed,. its hard with all the crying and stuff but i still do it. she woke up in the middle of the night wanting me in her room with her but i ignored her cries and when she came out of the room i took her back in again till she finally fell asleep. i hope this helps you

Tonya - posted on 07/15/2013

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My 3 year old here lately has not wanted to sleep all night in her own bed. She will go to sleep, but there is times where she'll sleep for about 3 hours but after that she calls for me to come to her. Then when I get in there I ask her what's wrong an all she wants me to do is read a story. An the times she does this it's in the early hours in the morning. I've tried to tell her that she needs to back to sleep, but she won't have it. An I've got a 2 year old that sleeps in the same room. An when I tell my 3 year old to go back to sleep she cry's loud an I don't want her to wake the 2 year old up. An then there's times where my 3 year old only sleeps for about 20 - 30 minutes and she does the same thing wanting me to come into her room. So I've been sleeping in a chair and my 3 year old on the sofa at night for several nights. An that has caused lose of sleep for me and also caused me not to be able to sleep in the same bed with my husband. So any help would be really nice, and me an my husband would be really Thankful.

Erica - posted on 04/13/2010

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My problem was solved with Spongebob Squarepants movies. He picks out which movie he wants to watch that night, puts it in all by himself and jumps into bed to watch his movie. This took about a month to break him from waking up and crawling into bed with me. And the way I broke that habit of him crawling in bed with me in the middle of the night I told him "No, your a big boy now and you sleep by yourself". And I walked him back into bed and tucked him in. Now my son is hard headed! So if this worked on mine, I bet you'll get somewhere with yours :-).

Alice - posted on 03/31/2010

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I must add that I got tougher as we went along. I am pretty strict about sleeping the whole night in their own bed in order to get the sticker. Falling asleep in their own bed and then coming to find me doesn't count.

Michelle - posted on 03/14/2010

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The only way I got my daughter in her own bed all night was to wait until she is totally asleep and go into my room. She got up a few times for the first few nights but I just kept taking her back to her bed and, eventually, she slept through all night without getting up. It may take a while but all the hard work is so totally worth it, believe me.x

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TOZELL - posted on 10/09/2012

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i'm having the same problem cant get no sleep she kicks and swing i cant take it what am i going to do...helppppppppppp

Maggie - posted on 10/09/2012

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When she gets in your bed, gently take her back to her bed. You can lay with her for a few minutes to help her go back to sleep. After a night if two she should get the message and stay in her own bed.

Nikki - posted on 01/08/2011

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i had that problem.... but when she was 1 - 1 1/2 not now. i let her pick out her new sheets and comforter set and told her i would take it back if she didnt sleep in her bed. she graduated froma toddler bed to a twin when she was 3 and i had to do the ssame thing as well as ease her into the idea that her baby brother needed the toddler bed. i learned from her so i never put ryen in our bed and he doesnt even want in our bed, when he is tired he goes straight to his bed! hope this helps! and good luuck!!!!

Alice - posted on 03/31/2010

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My twins are the same way. One of my boys responded to a reward chart for sleeping. It was a 3X5 grid. One row was for brushing teeth. One row was for putting on pajamas by themselves. One row was for sleeping all night in their own toddler bed.

They got a star sticker for each one they accomplished. One of my sons got it right away. The other one got it when he saw his brother get a new Hot Wheels car when he filled the whole grid with star stickers.

Adhrua - posted on 03/25/2010

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Wow! I am so glad to know that there are other folks having similar issues , my 3.5 year old son loves his new room (done up as per his taste) and sleeps there too only he wants me to be there with him also.I tried putting him to sleep and sneaking to our room by sonny boy gets up in the middle of night and crys which has me rushing back ??!!! We have been doing this for past 4 months and now I am so paranoid that even when he is asleep I go back to our room and keep waiting he would cry again ??!!!

We are also planning to have a second child but with this schedule I am not sure if that is going to happen ??!!!!!

Karel - posted on 03/23/2010

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We have the same problem here. We let her fall asleep in our bed, then move her to her bed. She likes to sneak back into our bed in the middle of the night. We have started having sleep overs with her in her room occasionally and it's helping. When we asked her why she wasn't staying in her room at night, she told us that she gets lonely. That's why we started the sleep overs.

Colleen - posted on 03/09/2010

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My 3 1/2 year old son does not like sleeping alone as well. I came up with introducing him to his angel. His angels name is Passa and I explained to him that his angel is with him all the time, but especially when he goes to bed, because she doesn't want to be alone either. So we have a little chat with Passa before we fall asleep and I tell him if he wakes up in the night just know that Passa is beside you. I have woken up to hear him talking to her in the middle of the night..It's very cute.. so far it's working. this is great if you have a child with a creative imagination.

Alison - posted on 02/18/2010

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We went through a month or two of this. But, at one of my son's doctor's visits, we told the doctor and gave her a "wink-wink" asking her to tell him it was not okay anymore. Basically, she said, "you are 3 years old now and you can't sleep in mommy and daddy's bed anymore". Just having someone of authority other than my husband or I tell him it was not okay was enough to convince him he couldn't sleep in our bed. We spent a few more weeks with him sleeping on a mattress on the floor in our room and then one day told him the doctor said he was a big boy and could sleep in his room again.

Deborah - posted on 02/18/2010

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i lay in bed feeling guilty thinking i dont sleep alone so why should do i make my 3 year old, he used to sleep in with us and we do allow him to come in at 7am for a cuddle. We found a bedtime routine works,i tell him its bath in 5mins so he kn ows its nearly bedtime,then he has a long bath with lots of playing(thats 1 to 1 time with daddy) then into bed for a story, by the end of the story he's so snug and sleepy he nods off, its better to stick to 1 or 2 stories so they dont start negociating more stories.
hope this helps.

Azuredee - posted on 02/17/2010

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I had a hard time getting my 4 year old to sleep in his own bed before I had my twins. He would not sleep in his bed, he always wanted to sleep with me and his father. I know in our past experience, when we stopped him from sleeping with us, he kept us up all night, he would cry constantly, and when it was time for his father to go to work, I would have to be the one to get him back into bed, his own bed for that matter lol!! So once we did that, we never had him back in our bed again. Once your child gets used to sleeping with you, they never would get over sleeping in their own. I know that it's hard but you have to do it even when they cry. I used to feel bad for my 4 yr old, but that is when I had to put my foot down and say this is what I have to do now. I can't baby him and he is growing so therefore I have to make some tough decisions.

With my 3 yr old twins, I have not had a problem with them sleeping with me. The only time that I had them sleep with me is when they were sick and it was easier for me to look after them while sleeping in our room.

Marie-Josee - posted on 02/16/2010

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We found that it helped if my daughter's bed was against a wall ans she felt secure. We seen a big improvement but sometimes she still wants to sleep in our bed but we do manage to get her to sleep in hers, we lay down a bit with her and she settles down and falls asleep and doesn't wake up at night no more.

Stacie - posted on 02/15/2010

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I would love to give you advice but We are having the same problem with our 3 yr old. She wont even go in her bedroom at night. She falls asleep on the couch and then comes and gets in our bed sometime during the night. We have tried everything. I read your post and had to comment even though I don't have any advice for you. I wish I did...

Kara - posted on 02/11/2010

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First of all, I'm glad we're not the only ones having this problem! We made some progress by having our daughter make some decisions on how her room was decorated - for example, she decided she no longer liked the butterflies on the wall so we let her pick out something else- ladybugs. She also got a bed tent for Christmas that seems to be helping as it makes going to be a cozy adventure. The biggest thing though, is that we just need to reassure her and check on her every 3 minutes (because she's 3 - everything is 3 because she's 3- lol) and by about the 3rd check, she's usually fast asleep. Also, granted, our 3 minutes is more like 5-10. We've just had to stay diligent that if she comes out, we just steer her right back in, give a hug and kiss and say we'll come check again. However, she knows that if she comes out, the "timer" starts over again. Good luck, and if you find any secrets, please be sure to share!

Emma - posted on 01/22/2010

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I don't know if this will help, but I have a 3 year old son who doesn't like sleeping in his own bed, so what I do is let him "snuggle" with me for around 10 - 20 mins in my bed then I tell him it's time for him to go to "his big boy bed" sometimes he mucks up so I bribe him with "tomorow you can go on your trampoline/in your pool etc if you go to bed now" which usually works. I also bought a whole heap of quilt covers from garage sales and op shops with characters on them like pooh bear wallE humphry wiggles etc so when I tell him he's got a "wiggle bed" to go to that excites him too. As I said I don't know if any of that will help but that is what I do. Good luck with it! =)

Deidre - posted on 12/18/2009

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I wish I had an answer for you I am having the same problem, My daughter does the same thing, we get kicked all night long also, we have a 4 mth. also and Iam afraid that we will have both the girls in our beds in the next couple of months we also have 2 boys 8 and 6 and they even like too sneak in bed with us also, I guess Its time to get an even bigger bed! lol....!! Sorry Iam no help just thought to let you know your not alone.

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