12 year old son messing with my worn panties - Need advice.

Mrs. Michelle/SportsMomLTZ - posted on 05/13/2017 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I have a 12 going on 13 year old son. My husband started working out of town a lot so it's my son & I at home about 3 weeks out of the month alone. As of late, I've been finding my worn panties/thongs in his bedroom. I find 2 each time. One i think he might be smelling & the other he is using to masturbate with/in.
Is this normal for a boy his age? Should I try to talk to him about it or should I look into getting him help? The main thing is, I don't want to make him feel embarrassed.
Any advice would be appraised Thanks

7 Comments

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Sarah - posted on 05/26/2017

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Masturbating is normal.
Pinching your panties... two of them, my guess is you are right. That is not common, but I don't think it is much to be concerned about.

The pinching of your panties I would be concerned about, that is an invasion of your stuff. I do know some mums (has been mentioned on forums here) allow son to borrow mum's or sisters panties, but they must ask for them.

Porn, as Tracy said, that is very serious.

I have some more links that may be useful.
You'll need to judge for yourself what is useful.

Maria's Story
Lust won: How porn destroyed my marriage
Don Jon: how porn is rewiring our brains
Russell Brandon on porn (Talking about it)
This is aimed at Christian men.
Porn industry and exploitation
And read this:
GQ: 10 Reasons Why You Should Quit Watching Porn
Some help
Practical Tips for Porn Free Living

Jtcampe3 - posted on 05/19/2017

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I'm glad you were able to speak to him about it and have opportunities to address it. I found this article that may be helpful in dealing with the porn issue. Here is link. http://bit.ly/2lJA37V
Totally up to you if you want to try it, but it is such a danger to our children. Will continue to pray for you to have opportunities to speak to him about it. ((Hugs)).

Mrs. Michelle/SportsMomLTZ - posted on 05/19/2017

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Hi Tracy,
Thank you so much for taking the time to give me your thoughts & advice on my issue. I haven't told my husband about the issue I'm having with our son. My husband doesn't deal with things in the right mannor. He wouldn't be very calm, he would be more in your face a bit loud & I know that would scare out son & he would close off.
He has been introduced to porn. One of his friends were over. He put his phone down & I noticed the back ground was a nude women. When they went to play video games I did what I shouldn't have done & went through the kids phone. Found a lot of nasty pictures & some videos.
I have started to talk to him in a round about way. A news clip had came on tv about someone having stuff taken from them. Being he was listening to it, I jumped in & started saying how taking other people stuff was wrong. I then moved it into taking stuff from family is also wrong. I also add if he need to talk he could always come to me. I've been doing this rant for 2 days so far. I'm hoping it either leads him to talking to me or it gets in his head taking others stuff is wrong
Again thank you for taking your time to give me some advice..

Jtcampe3 - posted on 05/17/2017

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I have 3 boys all over that age now. I usually leave those talks to my husband as it is a little more embarrassing talking about those things with mom. I can say they did not take any of my things and do that. Although I think experimenting is normal, I am concerned about him not feeling the boundaries between you and your things. Is it possible for your husband to talk to him about it by phone or even next time he is home? If not, perhaps you can let him know gently it's not ok to take your things and ask him if he'd like to talk to someone about it. Growing up has lots of embarrassing moments and it's important for our kids to feel like they can come to us and talk to us about these issues, so you don't want to do anything that will make him close off. Also I would try to figure out if he has been introduced to porn in some way. I hate to even bring that up, but unfortunately today it is a very real problem and if not talked about will just get worse. With computers and media the way it is, we have to be very vigilant in protecting them from the dangers. Praying for you!

Patty - posted on 05/13/2017

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While masturbating is totally normal, and sneaking panties is certainly not rare you should talk to him about taking your things. There will be embarrassment no matter what lol. If it's the feel of the panties that he enjoys maybe get him a sacrificial pair

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