Why my daughter cries for hours after picking her up from daycare (half day)?

Liezl - posted on 02/20/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My daughter started daycare on the 1st of Feb. She is 3 & a half years old. Week after week she asked when she could go to school. I finally registered her for daycare (half day) & she was excited to go, but cried when I dropped her off at daycare and once again at around 12h00. She was happy to see me when I pricked her up at 12h30. My real problem started when we got home from daycare as she became moody and irritable.The ladies are great with her at daycare. She still cries when I drop her off. The caregivers reassured me that she takes part in all the activities without crying & she is happy to see me when I pick her up, but she is uncontrollable when she gets home. She would not stop crying for an hour or more no explanation. I thought she might be hungry when I pick her up so I would give her food as soon as we get into the car & she would fall asleep on the way home, but the whole tantrum & crying thing would start again as she wakes up. She does not want to go to anyone but me (she doesn't want to let me go for one minute), but I can't seem to calm her down either. It has now been 3 weeks & I cannot seem to distract her or calm her down when she wakes from her afternoon nap. Everybody says I should give it time...how much time? She never used to be like this...

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Liezl - posted on 05/18/2012

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Thank you Bebe, my daughter is doing much better with the tantrums these days. She does not have food allergies/in tolerances, but definitely a fear of strangers :-)
Our nanny looked after her since she was a baby and therefore she never came in contact with strangers unless I was around / holding her hand. I figured out that she has a terrible fear of "strangers" when she started with swimming lessons...although she loves water...she didn't want to go in to the water with the swimming instructor, unless I went in the water with her. It took about 4 lessons (without mom holding her hand) for her to get used to the friendly "stranger" at swimming, before she stopped crying & screaming. Once she got to know the "stranger" she loved going to swimming. Another thing that confirmed this fear, was the fact that the school arranged with an optometrist to do eye tests during school time & my daughter cried when the "stranger" wanted to look at her eyes & on that day she cried terribly once she woke from her afternoon nap. She now can't wait to go to school & does not wake up crying.
Robyn, thank you for your post. I completely agree with you & that is why I gave up my full day job for a half day position. I am now able to spend quality time with my kids in the afternoons. My son's school work improved since I started working half day. My son is now such a confident boy. I enrolled my daughter at daycare to give her the opportunity to spend time with kids her own age, which helps with important things like making friends, working in a group & sharing. I guess I should not worry about her fear of strangers because I know that she feels safe at home & I'll know when any stranger gets to close for comfort.
Thanks to caring moms like yourselves, I realize I am not on my own.
MOMS, YOU ALL ROCK!

Bebe - posted on 02/29/2012

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I would guess she is over tired but i would be very cautious, it seems a little sketchy i have read you r post a few times over the past few days and it dosnt all seem to add up. at 3 and a half she should be able to tell you the problem but i would be worried about either 1.) if they are feeding her something she should not have... i am assuming she had food allergies/intolerances since you are on this page or 2.) something is going on at the daycare. I would not assume its someting terrible but maybe just scaring her. my older son got night terrors and would wake up and just scream. he would punch and go nuts and then kinda snap out of it. It stopped after a while. Good luck

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Robin Jane - posted on 05/17/2012

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Investigate the situation more. Sounds suspicious to me, kids don`t react this way for nothing ,not for this long. Would it be possible for you to volunteer a half day at the daycare helping the staff with various things . It will give you a chance to stand back and check out the scene, ie: other childrens interactions with your child, how your child interacts with the others, is your child too clingy while your there, ?......
Most daycares won`t refuse a parents request to volunteer, they will welcome it, and if they won`t allow it, then suspect something .
The staff may be nice in front of you and other parents, but I heard and seen little things during my volunteering times.
Ie: One time when a toddler was having a diaper change ,the worker was telling him " pu you have a stinky bum, stinky bum..." or I would hear things like " oh, your such a silly girl ".
Of course the workers were using a kiddish sounding voice, but still ,it disgusted me to no end.
I decided at that moment to quit my carreer job, and stay home and enjoy every minute with my child until he was ready for kindergarten. Some people thought I was crazy to give up the money I could have been making, I just told them money isn`t the key to my happiness, my kids are.

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