Are your parents or in laws in denial about your child's food allergies?

Bean - posted on 02/06/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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This may sound silly but we have some family members who are in denial about my son's food allergies. He is severely allergic to beans, annatto, and nuts. I have had several incidents where some members claim they "forgot" about his allergies and eat the items he is allergic to and then get upset when I tell them they are not allowed to kiss or touch him as they have had food that is dangerous to him. Also they get upset when I say no to a food or take away food at his level that he is allergic to (for example, the peanut butter cups sitting on the their coffee table or the chickpeas on the bottom shelf of their refrigerator in an open bowl) Is it just a generation gap, carelessness or perhaps the fact that they had no children with allergies and don't understand the consequences?

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Nicole - posted on 05/03/2013

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Absolutely!! Everyone is starting to come around except for my in-laws!! My DD had 2 anaphylactic reactions the first one at 7 weeks with her first taste of formula and another at 8months when she got a hold of her 2 yr old sisters sippy cup with milk. Both times we ended up in the ER but she got better before they had to treat her. Both times she had SEVERE vomiting within minutes of ingesting the milk and then got hives all over face and neck and then started coughing over and over. Despite the fact that they KNOW these things they insist on having a plethora of cheese, coffee with cream, cake and ice cream etc every.single.time we go over there and they look at me like Im CRAZY when I bring her own food instead of letting her have the food that they have prepared (I wasn't there and I don't know if there was cross contamination!!) Or when I am holding my daughter and refuse the piece of cake and ice cream that they try to hand me!! Anytime she even touches dairy or egg she breaks out in hives from the skin contact. We have to wash our mouths everytime and try not to kiss her. Well we are going on vacation with them in 2 weeks and we were discussing the meal plans etc and I told her not to worry about my kids food because I have to make them seperate meals from what we are eating and she just got silent.... then she went on to tell me that she is not sure what we will be having for breakfasts on vacation and she thinks she is just going to buy a few dozen eggs for omlettes etc. UGHHHHHHHH. They will not even attempt to try and be safe around my child and they just keep saying "well she will grow out of it soon im sure." They just do NOT think that it is as serious as I am putting out. I have sent them emails with links to explain food allergies and anaphylaxis and they never said anything to me about them. When i drop my kids off I showed them how to use the epipen and even left the plasic one so that they can practice and she says, "well I will ONLY need this if she has trouble breathing right..." Seriously... please dont wait until she cant breathe. Like I have told her before persistent coughing if coupled with hives, vomiting or if you know she ingested the allergen and then starts coughing just give her the dang thing. If you wait until she is turning blue it could be too late!! I do not trust their judgement anymore since they don't trust me when i tell them that her allergy is serious. Needless to say they don't babysit for us anymore and if they can't start taking her allergy more seriously then we most likely wont be going over there much anymore at all. This vacation will be the defining factor, seriously.... omlettes and scrambled eggs etc... Maybe if they even acted like they cared a little bit i wouldn't even care. Im sick of trying to get them to care and being ignored... my daughters life is way more important!!!!!!!

Leyla - posted on 03/05/2013

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YES! Absolutely - my daughter has moderate to severe eczema and the doctor told us in no uncertain terms that she is not to go anywhere near milk. We have also been told to bathe her every day (quickly and in cool water), change her clothing every time we moisturise (4x a day) and test her with foods one at a time leaving a 4 day gap in between anything new to make sure she is not reactive to it.

Enter parents.

They offer my child cheese, chocolate, sips of their tea and coffee with milk it, they roll their eyes when I jump and panic when they head towards her with ANY food item at all (because I don't trust them). She (my daughter) has already reacted badly to tangerines and avocados and they simply discard this information like I may as well be pointing at the paint and saying "Look drying paint!". We cant go into any home with lots of upholstery as she starts itching and sneezing like mad and they think I am "overreacting" and being "overprotective".

My solution: told them all where to go. My child, my responsibility, my rules THEIR denial - and if they want to roll their eyes and make comments they can take their milk-based produces and stick them where the cows don't moo!

S. - posted on 02/06/2013

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Could you look up some worse case cases and print them up sit them down and go over the facts of what could happen to your son if their carless. You can't really risk there feelings here, But some times if ppl see for themselfs what could really happen hopefully they'll think a bit more.
My daughter hasn't got any food allergies that we have come across thank god but she has lots if allergies to environment things one of which is fabric conditioner plus she has eczema my mil often washes my daughters school uniform after she's visited with fabric conditioner then asks me if she was ok with her uniform, I always reply with I washed it again! Dose she think I'm going to make her suffer and with her already irritated skin as it is. Now that annoys me and it isn't going to seriously harm or worse so I can relate where your coming from. Some ppl just don't think.

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