Welcoming Introduction!

Char - posted on 09/27/2012

Hmm. I thought I'd replied but apparently it didn't take...



I am a single woman raising a sibling's three children. Sibling has mental problems and struggles with addiction. There are four children total, but the youngest one's father took him, an issue we're trying to help the others deal with. My parents have been invaluable partners.



Our biggest struggle is the uncertainty. Legally, mom can walk in at any time and take the children away. I cannot afford an attorney, child protective services states that the children were not harmed or abandoned since the mother left them with people who are willing and able to care for them. The oldest child's psychologist stated that one of the biggest issues is the uncertainty for the children, the constant hope that mom comes back combined with fear/anxiety the she comes back and takes them away. The oldest (the only girl) feels immense guilt, feels it is her fault her mother left.



It has been a year since their mom left. She has missed five birthdays in a row. The only time she contacts is when she needs/wants something. For instance, she missed her youngest son's birthday - no call, no card, no show -but two days later called on Mother's Day stating she was healthy and "Ready to be a mom again." In other words, it was all about her. Her newest husband (who is an addict as well) has two children of his own that he hasn't seen or spoken to since last December. This is a toxic couple that feeds on each other. He tells my sister that legally it can't be considered abandonment if she makes contact every now and then, so she sends text messages about every four months. Things like, "Tell the kids mom loves them." She showed up last on the 3rd of July stating hubby was beating her and selling drugs (neither of them work, they'd crashed with people, lived on the street, and he earned money through pan handling) and she was ready to get healthy again. During this time she stated that she needed us to "Keep her children a little while longer" (keep in mind she has never asked us, she just up and left with no contact but this is her little manipulation/fantasy) while she got better. She had very little to do with the children for this day she was at the house, she slept 14 hours, got up, tracked hubby down and was long gone.



I guess my biggest question to all out there is how did you all gain custody? There are 3 different fathers involved here. None have anything to do with their kids, all live out of state. I was told in order to gain custody I needed the notarized signatures of all parents. The courthouse turned me away. Any suggestions?

Kimm - posted on 06/06/2012

Hi, I'm Kimm. My husband and I fostered my now son starting at age 10 weeks, at age 4 his adoption was finalized. He will soon be 8. His bio dad is my husband's cousin.