Parent Strategies that you would change or do over if you could.

Shannintipton - posted on 01/03/2012

Here is the community if you want to check it out. The thread is called Hope and Wisdom but changed to Hope and Inspirations. But the change has not taken effect yet. But it will. And thanks again Debb.





http://www.circleofmoms.com/mummy-chat

Shannintipton - posted on 01/03/2012

Thank you :D

Debb - posted on 01/03/2012

Oh, sure. :)

Shannintipton - posted on 01/03/2012

Oh Debb that was beautiful. I almost cried. Seriously. And I would have except I have no heart. That was so amazing. That was truly inspiring. Can I post it in another community I have. I have a thread called Hope and Inspiration. I would love to post it there. Please let me know. You can even be a member if you want. I will be waiting on pins and needles for your answer. Thanks.

Debb - posted on 01/03/2012

I had to take a minute to respond to this. Why? Well, I wish I could say that I have been the perfect parent, but I haven't. Mainly, I have been learning as I go and the road has been a bit bumpy at times.

Year one and up to two was hell. I'm not sure how either one of us made it. I'm sad that it was so rough, I wish that I could have had the more idealistic infant first year, with help from an S.O., but that was not in the cards for us. Nate was sick, I was young. Ugh.

Year two through four was the most turbulent. It was my 'learning how to parent' years, as I call them. I spent half the time acting just like my evil mother, or being so aloof and lenient, I'm sure he thought I was a total lunatic. I had a really hard time with patience in these years. His ear infections of early years made his speech a little slow in coming and his poor eyesight had made other developmental things slow as well. If I had known then what I know now, I would have been 100 times more patient.

Years four and five, my parenting style kind of clicked, I guess. My demons had settled and I was finally able to take a step back and decide who and what I wanted to be, as a person and as a mom. Regardless, I think that I was still too strict. My son really is a good sweet person, I wish that I would have seen that more then, as I see it now.

When my son was 8, my hubby and I separated and subsequently divorced (It's okay, we've since reconciled!). This was hard on Nate and I. But, on the positive side, I had an entire year to really get to know him one on one. I softened as a parent and as a person. My husband had developed some bad traits toward my son and the time apart gave me the ability to take a step back, so that when he and I reconciled, I could put my foot down about how I expected my son to be treated. I wish that I could have done this years earlier though, so that my son could have not had to deal with some of the harshness.

Now, Nate is 12 and I am finally proud of the parent that I have become, I'm NOT my mom. I'm caring and loving and silly. Nate knows that no matter what, he's my number 1 priority. He's a good kid, with good moral values, he's honest and polite and hard-working. So, we've had some speed bumps, but I guess, I have learned from them all, so each and every one has been important.

Shannintipton - posted on 01/02/2012

I wish I did more things for my daughter that I did for my son. My son was the first one so I did everything for him. Point to each word when reading. Explain everything to him and this when he was only three months old. LOL. I am lucky if I get to finish a story at all with my daughter. So sad. But man am I tired being an older parent. shesh.

Amanda - posted on 01/02/2012

I don't know that I would do anything differently, although there are things that work for my daughter that don't for my son. I just do whatever gets me through the day.
I do wish I had had more patience with my son when he was my daughters age.

Shannintipton - posted on 01/02/2012

Yes Michelle, If I only knew what I know now boy would I have done things differently. It is hard to deprogram them now. Or I should say harder but we are working on it and I will not give up. He will clean his room and I will not do it for him, I keep telling myself. ha ha ha

Michelle - posted on 12/31/2011

I think had I trusted my instincts and experience I would have done lots of stuff different with my son. He has sensory processing disorder and had I listened to myself instead of everyone else (that thought he was fine and would grow out of it) I would have potty trained differently and many other things that were much more difficult for him to do in the "normal" way.

Kellie - posted on 12/31/2011

Nope no do overs, I am happy and comfortable in how I parent. Of course I'm not perfect but I do it how I want to and it seems to be working just great.