Parent Strategies that you would change or do over if you could.

Shannintipton - posted on 12/31/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )

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LOL I have so many I dont even know where to begin. I would have them start picking up after themselves sooner. I would also watch my mouth in how I say things and my language more. That is all I can think of right now. But I am sure I will be back. What about you. Do you have any do overs. Please share I really would like to know. Thanks.

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I had to take a minute to respond to this. Why? Well, I wish I could say that I have been the perfect parent, but I haven't. Mainly, I have been learning as I go and the road has been a bit bumpy at times.

Year one and up to two was hell. I'm not sure how either one of us made it. I'm sad that it was so rough, I wish that I could have had the more idealistic infant first year, with help from an S.O., but that was not in the cards for us. Nate was sick, I was young. Ugh.

Year two through four was the most turbulent. It was my 'learning how to parent' years, as I call them. I spent half the time acting just like my evil mother, or being so aloof and lenient, I'm sure he thought I was a total lunatic. I had a really hard time with patience in these years. His ear infections of early years made his speech a little slow in coming and his poor eyesight had made other developmental things slow as well. If I had known then what I know now, I would have been 100 times more patient.

Years four and five, my parenting style kind of clicked, I guess. My demons had settled and I was finally able to take a step back and decide who and what I wanted to be, as a person and as a mom. Regardless, I think that I was still too strict. My son really is a good sweet person, I wish that I would have seen that more then, as I see it now.

When my son was 8, my hubby and I separated and subsequently divorced (It's okay, we've since reconciled!). This was hard on Nate and I. But, on the positive side, I had an entire year to really get to know him one on one. I softened as a parent and as a person. My husband had developed some bad traits toward my son and the time apart gave me the ability to take a step back, so that when he and I reconciled, I could put my foot down about how I expected my son to be treated. I wish that I could have done this years earlier though, so that my son could have not had to deal with some of the harshness.

Now, Nate is 12 and I am finally proud of the parent that I have become, I'm NOT my mom. I'm caring and loving and silly. Nate knows that no matter what, he's my number 1 priority. He's a good kid, with good moral values, he's honest and polite and hard-working. So, we've had some speed bumps, but I guess, I have learned from them all, so each and every one has been important.

Amanda - posted on 01/02/2012

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I don't know that I would do anything differently, although there are things that work for my daughter that don't for my son. I just do whatever gets me through the day.
I do wish I had had more patience with my son when he was my daughters age.

Michelle - posted on 12/31/2011

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I think had I trusted my instincts and experience I would have done lots of stuff different with my son. He has sensory processing disorder and had I listened to myself instead of everyone else (that thought he was fine and would grow out of it) I would have potty trained differently and many other things that were much more difficult for him to do in the "normal" way.

Kellie - posted on 12/31/2011

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Nope no do overs, I am happy and comfortable in how I parent. Of course I'm not perfect but I do it how I want to and it seems to be working just great.

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Shannintipton - posted on 01/03/2012

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Oh Debb that was beautiful. I almost cried. Seriously. And I would have except I have no heart. That was so amazing. That was truly inspiring. Can I post it in another community I have. I have a thread called Hope and Inspiration. I would love to post it there. Please let me know. You can even be a member if you want. I will be waiting on pins and needles for your answer. Thanks.

Shannintipton - posted on 01/02/2012

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I wish I did more things for my daughter that I did for my son. My son was the first one so I did everything for him. Point to each word when reading. Explain everything to him and this when he was only three months old. LOL. I am lucky if I get to finish a story at all with my daughter. So sad. But man am I tired being an older parent. shesh.

Shannintipton - posted on 01/02/2012

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Yes Michelle, If I only knew what I know now boy would I have done things differently. It is hard to deprogram them now. Or I should say harder but we are working on it and I will not give up. He will clean his room and I will not do it for him, I keep telling myself. ha ha ha

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