Should kids be at wedding receptions?

Katherine - posted on 01/19/2012 ( 19 moms have responded )

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Hmm interesting. Was reading this on Cafemom. I can understand kids coming to the wedding, but IMO I DO think it's inappropriate to come to the reception. There is drinking, swearing and lots of other things that kids don't really need to be involved with. Besides, the bride IS planning the wedding around herself, not you.



Thoughts?

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Brianna - posted on 01/19/2012

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for my wedding we asked that no kids come to the church or supper (except my daughter and my 2 nieces) but we did invite kids to the dance.. we just put the dance thing to be nice knowing that people arent gonna bring them since they werent already at the supper. i didnt want them at church cuz of crying.. and i didnt want them at supper because of cry and i had to pay per plate so i was gonna pay for a plate that costs the same amount as a adults for a kids that eats to bites.

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Minna - posted on 10/03/2013

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Totally up to the bride. I think a formal sit down dinner would be more problematic than an open bar. If things got too wild I would just take my kids and go home [although my kids have seen.... ahem...drunks before]. The most fun wedding receptions I can remember included kids. It's a great time to catch up with relatives from far away .Just keep them off the dance floor when it's just the wedding party and for God's sake don't let them try to catch the garter or bouquet.

Corinne - posted on 03/01/2013

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Personally, I don't see a problem either way. A wedding is about two people making their vows to each other and sharing that with the people they wish to.

When we started to plan our wedding, we came under so much pressure (or rather I did) to do things the way OH's mum wanted things. She wanted a church wedding, a posh reception with champagne, canapes and a three course meal, S.I.L to be a bridesmaid, for the wedding to be in her home town.........We had a civil wedding, in a theatre, with a buffet, disco, my best friend and my daughter as bridesmaids, in OUR home town.....
We're too laid back for all that guff and just wanted a happy, chilled out day to be enjoyed by all.
M.I.L also said she didn't want other peoples kids there, she said the noise from them would spoil the day! We already had two kids of our own and a lot of our friends had kids too, we wanted our day to be about family, so invited them all! We had colouring books and balloons, a candy buffet and a bouncy castle - it was brilliant.

Denikka - posted on 02/25/2013

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I think it's up to the couple as to whom to invite. Just like it's up to me to invite who I want to a dinner party or event inside my home.
For myself, I would invite kids. I would have no problem with that. All the weddings I can remember going to (not many :P) had kids, but that was more because the wedding couple had young kids, and generally the wedding couple's immediate family had LOTS of young kids (under about 8 yrs)

I honestly think that it's MORE tacky/inappropriate to invite kids to something like a formal or open bar reception.

I personally won't be having a bar at my wedding if I have anything to say about it. Not because I particularly WANT a dry wedding, but because there are certain members of my hubby's family who can and do drink like fish and I a) don't want to pay for them and b) because their behaviour is less than exemplary while drinking and my kids don't need to see that.
That being said, I think that if kids ARE going to be there, there should be some provisions made for them. Activities, specialized foods, and, if possible, a separate area for the *issues* that crop up with young children. It's just not fair to expect a young child (under 6) to spend the entire day acting perfectly, like an adult.

Evelyn - posted on 01/04/2013

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I guess so. But If I were to remarry, I would want my kids there. I told them that long time ago when they were younger. Even now, I would want them there along with my granddaughter. Though I do have to say, I have seen my kids' half sisters in action outside of the wedding, and was surprised at how well they did do. My son often complains how when they do go places that the girls run wild about everything. They have three step brothers, two are teens and one is still a little guy. He does not say much about how they behave so I guess they do well. At the wedding they were good. The boys are sweet.

Anyway, its a thought.

Jodi - posted on 01/04/2013

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I don't think it is the decade, Evelyn. I am of a similar age to you and in the 70s the only two weddings I attended as a child were my aunt's weddings where I was the flower girl. It's probably more likely to be cultural expectations that make the difference.

Evelyn - posted on 01/04/2013

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Growing up I can remember two weddings I went to that had a big church ceremony and a reception that had a meal, dancing and the cake. I was 8 and 9 for those weddings. Other kids were there too. Of course this was in the 1970's. Not sure the decade makes a difference. I remember the second wedding more because my sister was the flower girl and had never been one before. I got so upset. Beyond that, they had booze at the wedding because I can remember watching them pour Champagne in all the glasses on wedding party's table including the ring bearer and my sister. Of course, I had no idea what that was anyhow. My sister was about 6 at the time and when they started dancing she grabbed the ring bearer's hand and pulled him on the floor to dance. It was so cute.

But at the weddings even after those two, my sister and I had to behave or else. We sat quietly during the wedding, and minded our manners at the reception. A lot of people may feel that kids will not behave at weddings. When my daughter married the only kids there from the age of 14 to 1 and they were her brother, half sisters, and step brothers. Of course all but two of the kids were in the wedding party, but my daughter would have loved it if other kids came.

Also the topic said no kids depending on where the wedding is at. A lot of the weddings I attended were in church and the reception was in the fellowship hall. There is not a lot of trouble for kids to get into that way and there is no alcohol served. Usually not a meal either. Anyway, at age 12 I caught my first bouquet.

Amy - posted on 01/20/2012

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My wedding was a child free wedding there were kids who were important to my husband and I so they were included in the bridal party or had some part in the wedding. That way we didn't have to deal with parents wondering why some kids were there.



If the name isn't on the invite they aren't invited. My son was in an out of town wedding this past summer we had to leave our daughter with or grandmother because she wasn't invited and I respected the bride and grooms decision it is afterall their day. I know some places do kids plates but they're still pretty costly.

Jodi - posted on 01/20/2012

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I don't see it as tacky or inappropriate. My son and my husbands 2 children were at our wedding AND at our reception. I also invited all of our nieces and nephews. We had a table set up specifically for the kids (even organised balloons, appropriate snacks, colouring books and pencils). Heck, even some of the music was planned to get the kids up on the dance floor with us!! After all, it wasn't just our wedding. We also made vows to our children. Our wedding reception was a celebration of a new family, not the celebration for only 2 people.



So personally, I think it is up to the couple. I agree with Emma. If the name isn't on the invite, they are not invited.

Stifler's - posted on 01/20/2012

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i think it's tacky to write child free wedding on your invites though. the invite applies to people listed on there only anyway. if the kids aren't on there then they're not invited, i think it's usually a money/space thing. if i'd invited everyone's kids that would have been 4 extra tables of people/38 dollars a head for kids who eat 2 bites. i'm never offended if kids aren't invited, i don't want to take them when i'm trying to have a night out.

Katherine - posted on 01/19/2012

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Those are all valid points. It WOULD get expensive buying plates for kids.

Amanda - posted on 01/19/2012

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I think it depends on the wedding and where it is.

My SIL is getting married in March and she wants my kids there and has told others with kids that they are more than welcome to bring them along. It's going to be a casual low key wedding with just close family and friends.



I do think that if you are going to say no kids it has to apply to everyone attending the wedding. We were invited to one where they said no kids, hubby went alone and when he got there the no kids rule had only applied to one side of the wedding party.

Katherine - posted on 01/19/2012

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Yeah they were talking about invites with CFW on them, whatever that means. Child Free Wedding?

Michelle - posted on 01/19/2012

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Well I guess it depends. I had kids at my wedding and it was fine. But I could see there are weddings where it wouldn't be appropriate. I don't exactly have a ton of sitters available so a lot of times if the kids can't go neither can my husband and I. I guess you should maybe specify on the invite these days.

Stifler's - posted on 01/19/2012

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Depends where the wedding is. If it's in their yard with stuff to do for the kids then yes. If it's at a venue with expensive food and breakable table decs then why would you a ) want to take your kids b) why would your kids want to be there. I didn't invite anyonés kids to my reception. They saw the important bit, the vows.

Jayce - posted on 01/19/2012

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There were kids at my wedding and reception. No big deal in my opinion. If their parents didn't want them there then their parents could take them home but I loved having the kids there.

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