Should you marry just because your pregnant?
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Corinne - posted on 01/29/2012
No, no, no, you shouldn't get married just because you're pregnant. Mike and I had discussed marriage and kids but were not 'officially' engaged (as in, nobody knew our plans) at that point. When the pregnancy was announced his entire family commiserated our 'bad timing', lack of marriage certificate etc, his mum even went so far as to buy a truck load of stuff as we 'didn't have the funds, the baby wasn't planned you know'. I could've killed her. His little sister had overheard and repeated something that summed their reaction up 'you've shit before you farted' she was 13 yrs old.We didn't get married until #2 was 18months old. A pregnancy is not a solid foundation for a marriage.
Janice - posted on 01/28/2012
No, I don't think you should marry just because you got preg, been there done that. However I dont think that you should keep having kids without a spouse and having kids that other people have to support. I know I will get a lot of flack for this but so be it!
Tara - posted on 08/13/2011
No, I don't think you should get married just because you are pregnant. Pregnancy and a baby can't fix things if something is wrong with your relationship, they just add on another layer of things.
I did get married before getting pregnant, but not by much - got married March 2007, got pregnant July 2007. If we hadn't been able to find someone to marry us when we did I would have been pregnant when we got married.
Honestly, we just wanted to be married - a baby wouldn't have changed that.
Danielle - posted on 08/13/2011
I'm like Carolee & Holly. I was engaged when I got pregnant, at the same time I had gotten pregnant, two other friends of mine got pregnant (I was 19 and they were both 17) After my wedding they decided to get married. Out of the three couples that got married that yr, I'm the only one still married. They both said if they had not been pregnant then they wouldn't have gotten married. Unless you're in love with that person then no, a baby is no reason to get married.
Stifler's - posted on 08/13/2011
We got engaged when I got pregnant with Logan. Then got married when I was pregnant with Renae. But we love each other, we're not like married because we have kids. We just figured that getting married was in order. Getting married to save your relationship will only exacerbate any problems you already have.
Holly - posted on 08/12/2011
I'm like you, Carolee. We were engaged already when I go pregnant and we decided we wanted to be married when the baby was born (but I didn't want to be huge), so we bumped our wedding date up from October to April. A lot of people think we got married because of the baby, but we had a date set out and everything befoer we got pregnant, so I don't consider it a shotgun wedding (just a bit ahead of schedule - lol). Really, the only thing I regret about it is teh fact that Icouldn't have the dress I really wanted, but it was a designer dress and had to be ordered 6 months in advance and we planned the whole wedding in 1 months...
Now, if we were just together (not already engaged) at the time that we got pregnant, then I don't know what I would have done, but I would have most likely waited to get married (unless hubby proposed before we found out about the pregnancy - onfused yet? lol). This happened to my best friend. She got pregnant shortly after getting back together with her high school sweetheart (long story) and she was so happy that is first reaction was NOT asking her to marry him. She said she didn't want a proposal based off a baby and she feels that his proposal when the baby was almost 2 was more sincere and she knew it was because he loved her, not just because they had a child together.
Carolee - posted on 08/12/2011
He called out a few people at his work for ACTUALLY getting married because of a pregnancy. He told them that he knew not to marry for that reason because he had their miserable lives as an example. lol.
Carolee - posted on 08/12/2011
Jason had asked me before I got pregnant. I still ended up being pregnant when we got married, though. We had to quickly change the date from May 1 to December 31 to make sure I wouldn't be on bedrest, though. Jason hated being asked if he was marrying me just because he "knocked me up".
Kirby - posted on 08/12/2011
no.... you should get married if its what you both want to do. you dont have to be married to have a child. in a moment of anger someone in my family said my fiance olny proposed because i fell pregnant, but when i asked him (in tears) he set it straight - he loves me and wants to be with me, even if i wasnt pregnant. and good friends of ours have 3 kids together, and have made the decision they will never get married, because their relationship works great already.
if you get married just because your going to have a baby, there is the potential that one or both of you may feel resentment down the track, and it wont be good for your child to have parents resenting each other.