Toxic Friends or Family. Do you have any?

Shannintipton - posted on 01/03/2012

Anytime you need to cut loose Roxie there is always Random Chat too. We do all sorts of weird things in there. We share and cut up, bitch and vent, rant and rave and most of all laugh. I hope you come join us sometime. It can be so much fun. Hope to see you there Roxie.

Roxie - posted on 01/03/2012

My Step mom is toxic. She has managed to tear apart my father and my sister and I's relationship. She gets jealous when we spend time with him. My dad lives overseas so I never get to see him. I mean he missed my whole pregnancy and didn't get to see his Grandson till he was 6 months old. Every time he is spending time with me, she calls trying to stay on the phone to interrupt our time. Told my father on multiple occasions it's either them (me and my sister) or her and the kids. I love my half brother and sister to death, but my step mom is a utter bitch and i don't think she knows how to be any other way. I told my father before they married she was up to no good. But I guess she put her french spell of love on him and he can't see the horrible things she does. Or choose not to. Needless to say she has caused so much drama in our family, i don't even talk to my father anymore, because he's convinced me and my sister are evil little plotters against her. Because i have plenty of time to think of master plans in between blow out diapers, exploding cheerio bags and laundry. She has literally spread a cancer into our before happy family. It's just sad to me because it's hard enough for me and my sister not having a home base anymore when it comes to family. She took the last piece of family i had left, but what does she care right?! It's just sad to me how people are so miserable and they are to weak to stand alone in their strife that they bring everyone down with them. I love everyone, and i always turn the other cheek..but my face and ass only have two to turn a piece, lol, so had to cut that whole part of my life out because it was bringing negative vibes in my house. Whew, glad i got that out! lol Thanks Shannin

Caroline - posted on 01/03/2012

Shannon,
Hi! Yeah, I am in a much better place. And I am not crazy!! LOL.... at least that is what my freinds would say. Thank you for your reply and I also look forward to chatting with
you in the future. Bye for now, Caroline

Shannintipton - posted on 01/03/2012

Welcome to Bichin Ladies. That is a horrible story. I feel really bad about how things happened. Sounds like your is a great place now and got rid of your toxins and life can move on, Good for you. Hope to see you in Random Chat so we can get to know each other better. Just jump in any time. :)

Caroline - posted on 01/03/2012

Hi. Yes I too have a toxic mother. You see, my mother is bi-polar and has borderline personality disorder. I know crazy huh? Well I grew up in a home during the late 70's and 80's living in a family that HATES all races other than white. My mother is white and my biological father is black. But... my step dad (the only one I ever had) is white. SO my sister is white and so are my two brothers and so on. I was raised as a bastard child that no one loved or liked. Back in the day mixing races was not as normal as it is today. But... needless to say my mother would cheat and bring guys home, total strangers and sleep with them, while my dad was gone doing his job for the military. My mother loves the four of us kids once then she hates us and tells us that she hates us. I met my husband in Iraq and she tried to get me fired from my job on purpose because she didn't like my husband. She had also got my brand new car repoed while I was gone to Iraq. My mother also called Department of human services on my brother and his wife because she got mad at him. And... my mother tried to adopt my brother's kids. When she would talk to the four of us and find that everyone is doing well she starts fights by telling lies back and forth to get a fight going and then she sits back and watches the fireworks. I have stopped talking to my mother period. My dad worked in Iraq for 7 years and he is close to retirement and she spent all his money. SO when he got back to the states, he lost his home and truck and horses and anything else my mother could sell or just throw away. So the answer to your question is YES!! I do know someone who is very toxic. And think about this, I just barely scratched the surface. I am now drama free. My siblings and I don't talk with her ever. She don't deserve us. I have been in therapy ever since I was 16 to try to move on with my life because of the things she had done to me and my siblings. She would take us to bars late at night so she could party and told us to stay in the car. She had sex with some guy while my sister slept on the bed next to our mother. She would go out to eat with her boyfriend and bring us half eaten bag of whatever or we ate tooth paste and drank coffee so we could stay full.My mother had allowed whatever boyfriend to threaten us and hit us or whatever. SO I have a full head of grey hair since I was 14 years old, and three bleeding ulcers at 18. But... life is sweet now and I don't have to talk to her so that is nice.

Debb - posted on 12/30/2011

Shannin, I have to be honest, I don't think that biological relation makes you obligated in any way. Family is a role that people play in your life. For some, there is biological relation and for others, there is none. My step-dad is in no way related to me and has been divorced from my mom for 14 years, but that's my daddy. And, I would bend over backward to help him. Not my mom though... My son's gramma and poppa is actually my aunt and uncle (my mom's much saner sister). I dunno. I just hate being told that we are obligated to 'help' family, just because we're related. I think that's crap. My mom was 'obligated' to be a mom too, so yeah...

Shannintipton - posted on 12/30/2011

Debb sorry to hear that but you seem to have over come it beautifully. And yes I get the sense that I ruined my mothers life too. She left when I was four and heard about how awful being a mother and wife was .............for years. Now she is in need a major financial help. And I honestly dont feel the need to lift a finger. Bitter I know but I cant help the way I feel.

Debb - posted on 12/30/2011

My mom. I think that she's evil. Not really joking on that, there is something seriously wrong with her. She's mean, not mean, she's vicious and cutting and competitive. I don't even like being in her presence, it's very uncomfortable. But, she was sure to tell my brother and I often how she wished that we'd never been born and that we ruined her life, robbed her of her youth, etc. Ah, proof that being a mother isn't for everyone. I'm happy to say that we've 'lost touch'. She's not a total loss as a mother, as long as I do everything opposite of how she did things, I feel that I am doing okay as a mom. And, despite her awful criticism for as long as I can remember, I am successful, happy and my life is not ruined. So, ha! :)

Danielle - posted on 12/30/2011

My step SIL and MIL are both toxic. My husband's stepmother gets in his dad's ear and starts running her mouth and then she gets my SIL to start stuff with us. This happened just the night before last when my SIL attacked my husband publicly on FB b/c we didn't make it down there for Christmas (even though he had just come back into town from work) I'm done with my SIL who I blocked and I'm just gonna ignore my MIL. I hate the childish drama in this family. =/

Jacqueline - posted on 12/29/2011

My SIL is super toxic. She alienates everyone she knows and attempts to control everyone!!! When the head of the family past she took over the inheritance and all the land that the family owns and now holds it over my husband and his sisters heads. She uses the land to mine now and the $ from it is supposed to be going to them but she put a clause in the paperwork so she can cut anyone she wants, so she puppets them all around like little monkeys. It's sick and I stopped talking to her long ago, I don't want any of her sick twisted mine money!!! Only Non-Toxic people are allowed in my general area :)

September - posted on 12/27/2011

I have some toxic family members that I choose to not surround myself with so they are of no harm to me. I got rid of my toxic friend’s years ago. If you don't bring anything positive to my life, then you won't be in it!

Constance - posted on 12/27/2011

I stopped bailing out my sister about 6 monthes ago. I love my sister and she is my best friend but it is time for her to take responsibility for her own life. I have bailed her out on her house 4 times in the last 18 months, sent her money for food, taken care of bills that she should be paying herself. I finally said no more. I feel bad for my nephew because he doesn't deserve what she has caused but she needs to hit rock bottom. Then dig herself back out.

Constance - posted on 12/27/2011

Most of my family are toxic. I don't deal with the majority of them. They are also the reason I have 4 children that I did not give birth to. I love all 8 of my children but I do wish my family would have also grown up and been adults.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/27/2011

If I had money, I would have no problem sending money to my family if they needed it. All, but that one sister. Now, I would not send enough for them to live off of, but just a little to help out.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/27/2011

Yes, my sister who does not live near me, and my brother in law that lives upstairs. Both very toxic, and I could do without them just fine.

Amanda - posted on 12/27/2011

My man's family is toxic when they are together. His mom and sister perpetuate these crazy ideas of what holidays/gatherings should be, and they are not fun for anyone. His dad is just fucking nuts. My man's dad is so unpredictable; people often have to 'walk on egg shells' around him, so it is hard for me to spend time with him. In fact, he gave away all of my son's baby stuff just before Christmas! I am still furious!

My sister is a bitch; there is really no nice way to put it. I love her, and I want good things for her, but her personality is so toxic that it's hard to spend a lot of time with her. We try to avoid these people/situations as much as we can, but we don't want to cut any family from our lives.

Oh, and I almost forgot my mom. She is such a mooch! I can't stand it anymore!

Jurnee - posted on 12/26/2011

My sister, shes a drama queen, loves to start trouble, but the straw that broke the camels back was when she stole from me. Havent talked to her in over a yr and feel so much better for it. Acutally none of the family has, except my mom, and that is very limited as well.

Tara - posted on 12/26/2011

Yes. My MIL and both SILs are toxic - they treat my hubby like dirt, treat me like dirt and then get on us when we don't share info about our life with them.

My hubby was about 50 pounds underweight when I met him (6 feet tall, 118 pounds) - didn't start gaining weight until his sisters stopped talking to us because we asked for an apology from them for publicly saying that our decisions as parents sucked (they don't like that we chose to have me stay home with our children - I was taking a course to work from home at the time of the fallout but that wasn't good enough).

My sister - she has always treated everyone in our family like garbage, said horrible things about us (called my mother the "Bitch from Belsen" when she wasn't allowed to go to a movie - to put it in perspective, Belsen was one of the concentration camps in Nazi Germany), called me a selfish bitch because I didn't let her know right away when I had my first daughter (I had been in the hospital for a week at that point and had her at 5 am - we notified everyone in the family, including her, by 8 am), had a screaming fit at me when I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter that almost put me into premature labor, etc.

We've cut all of them out of our lives as much as is possible and the difference in our stress levels is unreal.

Kellie - posted on 12/26/2011

Not anymore. I cut loose the toxins from my life.