Hesti - posted on 05/23/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )
My husband's eldest son from his first marriage has always wanted to live with his dad and has recently decided to stand up to his mom and told her that he wants to come live with us - that is bio dad, me and his half brother (7) and half-sister (4). After a lot of fighting between my husband and his ex-wife she finally agreed (she lives 500 km away with my SS, SD her new husband and their 8 yr old daughter) and we have started the legal process of changing the court order etc. and we are all very excited about the prospect. We all get along very well, the younger kids absolutely adore their older brother and he is a very good kid- well-mannered and well-behaved, very sporty and active - but hey, still a teenager no doubt!. I have cautioned both my SS and my husband that we might all have some unfair expectations of the new living arrangements and that there will be a time of adjustment; especially since my husband and I are only really used to being full time parents to young children, not teenagers (my SS and SD has only ever visited us during school holidays, which adds up to about 8 weeks a year since their bio mom moved them away eight years ago). If anyone has experience of a similar situation I would love to hear your thoughts and advice on how to make the move and adjustment easier, especially since my SS will be starting at a new school in the middle of the year and will obviously have to deal with the guilt of 'leaving' his mother and sisters - an issue which is greatly imposed by his bio mom who is trying to guilt him into not going through with his plans.